plan to ban possession of dogs in Calgary within 15 years

[ok, ok,....I get it]

DESS watch out she knows what you are planning........................

[Da_Chief]

BAN THEM! Get rid of them.

[ricosuave]

But then you could miss out on things like this...

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showpos...&postcount=543

[Nehkara]

This is the most ridiculous thread I have ever read on Calgarypuck and I think the OP should rethink his priorities. If dogs both you that much you either live in a very strange neighborhood or need to rethink your priorities. There would be a REVOLT if people couldn't own dogs in Calgary.

[Traditional_Ale]

This thread is officially awesome. I'm crying I'm laughing so hard...

Would someone please post the raptor flying the f-14 already?

[stang]

[joe_mullen]

not sure i'd be willing to pay higher taxes to fund this project, but if we can get some mac's cashiers to do the spaying/neutering, i may change my mind.

also, with the increased amount of tourists at the new and improved, more christian stampede, we can hopefully propagate similar programs in other cities around the world

[joe_mullen]

if dog = loaded gun, then bear = ? bazooka, ? grenade

[Tower]

Originally Posted by DESS

Let's get a couple things out of the way right out of the gate.

• yes, I'm completely serious about this
• no, I'm not trolling

Okay, this is why I don't like dogs:

1. They are loud. I can hear them barking at night and I can hear them barking in the morning. If I walked outside and shouted randomly on a daily basis, the cops would be all over me. Why do dogs get away with it?
2. They are dangerous - not bear dangerous - but dangerous enough as outlined by the City here. Yes of course your dog isn't, but some are. In fact, there was an incident every day of the year with an agressive dog in Calgary last year. A low-incident year (according to the article), but unacceptable nevertheless. Obviously this only tracks the incidents reported, so it's safe to assume the rates are even higher.
3. Crap. People simply don't pick up after their dogs and it is absolutely disgusting. Kudos to you if you do, but enough don't that it is an obvious problem.
4. Urine. I've never seen any dog owner, no matter how responsible, pick up their dog's urine. If I whipped out my schlong in the middle of a park where children were playing to take a leak, people would freak. Let's put the public nudity aspect of that example aside, people would be disgusted that I was peeing where kids were playing. I find it equally disgusting to know and see dogs do this, but it is somehow socially unacceptable to call out a guy for letting his dog piss whereever. It's outrageous, frankly.
5. They're dirty and they smell bad.

You know, I understand people love their dogs and that's great. And I can also see that it would be unfair to take a dog out of somebody's home - both to the dog and to the owner.

A more realistic solution to this pest problem we have would be a city-funded initiative to spay and neuter every dog in the city, ban the sale/possession of any new dogs, and just wait for the current generation of dogs to pass away. Within say 15 years the problem would be solved.

I would be curious to know if anyone else would be interested in this plan. Perhaps we could start a petition or do something to get the ball rolling on this. Obviously it will be a tough thing to achieve, but I think if we are compassionate to the current dog owners, make exceptions for work dogs, etc. this may have legs. It will certainly get support from some people, I'm just not sure how many at this point.

You could just vaccinate them all.... That should work. Give them the full spectrum!!!

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by DESS

Okay, this is why I don't like dogs:
They are loud.
They are dangerous
Crap.
Urine.
They're dirty and they smell bad.

Originally Posted by Phaneuf3

If this is all it takes to want to ban dogs, you could use these same criteria (and many MANY more) for justifying wiping out the entire human race.

Discuss.

You know, he might be onto something. One wouldn't have to apply his criteria to the entire human race, that would just be silly. But if you were to selectively apply it to say Oiler and Canuck fans, you could build a case to neuter and spay these unwanted pests.

Really. I'm serious. Not trolling.

Okay, so I'm not serious. Still ...

[CaptainCrunch]

Wow,

That is all

Just wow.

[ShaolinFlame]

Originally Posted by HOOT

I was going to start a new thread but I think my rant fits in here:

Let's get a couple things out of the way right out of the gate.

• yes, I'm completely stupid
• no, I'm not smoking weed right now, okay I am.

Okay, this is why I don't like babies:

1. They are loud. I can hear them cry at night and I can hear them cry in the morning. If I walked outside and cried randomly on a daily basis, the cops and my therapist would be all over me. Why do babies get away with it?
2. They are dangerous - not dog dangerous - but dangerous enough as outlined by the gang violence in Vancouver. Yes of course your baby won't join a gang, but some will. In fact there is a gang shooting every day of the year with an aggressive, what use to be a baby, in Canada last year.
3. Crap. People simply shouldn't let their babies crap in public, it is absolutely disgusting. Kudos to you if you teach you baby, but enough don't that is an obvious problem. Diapers are just not enough, teach them what a toilet is.
4. Breastfedding. I've never seen any baby owner, no matter how responsible, not try and breastfeed in public. If I whipped out my man breasts in the middle of a park where children were playing, people would freak. Let's put the public nudity aspect of that example aside, people would be disgusted that I was whipping out my breasts where kids were playing. It's outrageous, frankly.
5. They're dirty and they smell bad.

You know, I understand people love their baby and that's great. And I can also see that it would be unfair to take a baby out of somebody's home - both to the baby and to the owner.

A more realistic solution to this pest problem we have would be a city-funded initiative to spay and neuter every human in the city, ban the sale/possession of any new babies, and just wait for the current generation of babies to pass away. Within say 75 years the problem would be solved.

I would be curious to know if anyone else would be interested in this plan. Perhaps we could start a petition or do something to get the ball rolling on this. Obviously it will be a tough thing to achieve, but I think if we are compassionate to the current baby owners, this may have legs. It will certainly get support from some people, I'm just not sure how many at this point.

I think I just peed a little. Thank you Hoot x2 for making my day.
(It probably helps that HOOT isn't the only one taking hoots).
Especially this part.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by Tower

You could just vaccinate them all.... That should work. Give them the full spectrum!!!

The last thing we need is a city full of autistic dogs.

[Grunt]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Holy crap DESS!!!

I haven't been on CP all that long, but I can never remember someone showing up and basically posting stuff that would normally have me up in arms, but the sheer absurdity of what you post is making me laugh and laugh. First teachers, which I want to become, and now dogs (that I love dearly)???

Man, I hope you don't get banned because you are seriously good stuff.

I'll admit I haven't read every post in this thread... but I've read all of DESS' posts, and this guy is awesome. I can't tell if his OP is one huge level or not, but I honestly don't really care. Comedy gold, and has really been quite a treat in this thread despite people jumping on him and calling him a troll.

Can't wait to read more, DESS :P.

[Orange]

Frist he came for the street people, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a street person.
Then he came for the bears, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a bear.
Then he came for the stampede, teachers, people going back to school at 30 and dogs and I didn't speak up because I wasn't them.
Then he came for me and no one was left to speak up for me!

Originally Posted by flip

Don't get me wrong I get the facepalm jokes etc but really is it necessary to call every second poster who doesn't just fall into line like cattle a troll or an idiot?

I've stayed away from it, I've read his stuff and DESS is made of win, but I think it's pretty obvious what he's here for:

Originally Posted by DESS

Why do you think it goes against the worldview of an atheist to take an interest in the decline of organized religion? I'm an atheist and find the trend talked about by the OP heartening.

Originally Posted by DESS

That's true to a degree, 4x4. At least with some Christian influence perhaps those atheists could be saved. Opening up a dialogue can't hurt, anyway. As for other religions, while I disagree with their stance (and God's word in the bible is fairly strong - nay irrefutable - evidence in my favour, lol) it would probably be appropriate to let them sponsor some off-site events.

I know our church always holds a huge stampede breakfast that many people from all walks of life and religious backgrounds attend. We are working very hard to bring this event into the grounds and I hope that 2009 will be the year. Maybe I'll even see some of you guys there!!

From an athiest to preaching how the Stampede should be a a Christian festival and how athiests need to be saved in just over a month. What a conversion

[I_am_Beast]

Most dogs can learn can learn this thread is crap, difference is your not house trained...

[Nancy]

I also think that dogs should be banned, or at least be required to wear a Burqa:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14738358/

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by HOOT

You know, I understand people love their baby and that's great. And I can also see that it would be unfair to take a baby out of somebody's home - both to the baby and to the owner.

But wait...how is babby formed?

[rubecube]

And DESS, this is for you:

[guzzy]

wow you are living in a dream world . No city would ever ban dogs.

After that maybe you can start banning certain people based on skin color or nationality. Based on your assessment of dogs, why not?