Random Thoughts Thread

[enthused]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

Same here. Are you my double in a parallel universe?

(I hope this doesn't sound creepy... but, what do you study?)

You know, I just might be your double! In female form.

I'm doing a French degree. At the moment I am studying for a Music History class (in French), and I have been listening to symphonies and operas from the 1700s for hours... and I am going crazy. I have no musical background so I don't even really know what I am looking for when listening to them!

What do you study?

[wittynickname]

I love tea. Mostly just simple black tea. Nothing fussy or fancy or fruity, just simple, strong, sweet black tea. Though occasionally I also love a good peppermint tea.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by enthused

You know, I just might be your double! In female form.

I'm doing a French degree. At the moment I am studying for a Music History class (in French), and I have been listening to symphonies and operas from the 1700s for hours... and I am going crazy. I have no musical background so I don't even really know what I am looking for when listening to them!

What do you study?

I'm a masters in electrical engineering right now. I've been stairing at pages of numbers trying to figure out where I screwed up its making me buggy eyed. (vs your listening to music lol, I think you are my double, double in a country too - San Jose)

Some help, the 1700's was the romantic era. This was about the time of the industrial revolution, so vs the classical era, you saw things like new instruments (brass - trumpets, tuba, french horn...), and consequently, symphonies etc now that there were instruments for that, larger range of octaves, a movement away from set rhythm to something called "tempo robato" (or robbed time, you'd speed up at some time and pay back that time later, or vis versa), more showmanship (especially Franz Liszt). There are a few things you might want to look for.

[enthused]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

I'm a masters in electrical engineering right now. I've been stairing at pages of numbers trying to figure out where I screwed up its making me buggy eyed. (vs your listening to music lol, I think you are my double, double in a country too - San Jose)

Some help, the 1700's was the romantic era. This was about the time of the industrial revolution, so vs the classical era, you saw things like new instruments (brass - trumpets, tuba, french horn...), and consequently, symphonies etc now that there were instruments for that, larger range of octaves, a movement away from set rhythm to something called "tempo robato" (or robbed time, you'd speed up at some time and pay back that time later, or vis versa), more showmanship (especially Franz Liszt). There are a few things you might want to look for.

Thanks! I will definitely keep all of that in mind as I keep listening to everything!

Unfortunately I have no tips for anything relating to mechanical engineering... but my guess is that if you're doing your masters you're probably doing just fine on your own!

[flylock shox]

Careful you guys.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I can understand your position. It's likely that anyone who has slept with that many people before you will realize what a terrible lay you likely are.

That's a pretty unnecessary personal attack.

There's a question in there though... Most of us were horny kids at one point though. What if a person sleeps around as an 18-20 year old but then realizes how stupid that is and learns to keep their drawers on? Do you still hold it against them when they're 25-30?

No I don't hold it against them at a certain age, but there is still a limit. I'm only 22 so I don't think that I'm being too unreasonable by saying I'm not comfortable dating someone in my age range who has had 15+ partners. Yes some of it is me not wanting to date someone who has 15+ people running around the city that can hold "Hey, I plowed your girlfriend" over my head. Most of it has to do with the healthy risks involved.

Worse yet is men who want their gf to be virginal, and yet expect them to put out by date 3 at the latest.

I actually like a girl that makes me wait. I'd rather date someone like that than my friend who banged a guy she had been seeing for two weeks in the bathroom at his Super Bowl party (while his buddies were banging on the door and cheering).

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by enthused

Thanks! I will definitely keep all of that in mind as I keep listening to everything!

Unfortunately I have no tips for anything relating to mechanical engineering... but my guess is that if you're doing your masters you're probably doing just fine on your own!

Woo! Found it, finally!

(PS: electrical... circuit designer)

[jammies]

Originally Posted by The Fonz

If it were as easy for a man to get laid as a woman, don't you think that statistic would rise even further?

I don't think the difficulty barrier has anything to do with how many men cheat. It isn't significantly more difficult for a man to find a willing woman than vice versa; in fact, if you think about it, it is exactly as easy for men as women to find a partner, given that (normal heterosexual) relations have one man and one woman, which means each sex has been equally successful in their search.

We may perceive that it is more difficult as men, but that is because we think that we are doing all the work of seduction, but conversely it is difficult for a woman to connect with a man she finds attractive because she is forced into more of a passive role where her choice is circumscribed by what men choose to approach her. If you have sisters or female friends, you are sure to have heard about the guy she has a crush on but "he doesn't know I exist", whereas with a guy it is more likely that she does know you exist, as you've made your interest plain, but she doesn't care - in the end, though, you're equal in that neither of you are getting who you want.

Finally, if you've ever been directly approached for sex as a man, you know that it's actually rather off-putting. It sounds like it'd be like a sundae with awesome on top, but in reality you are forced into a role that you generally don't play, and don't know what the rules are. If it's a woman you know and generally like, it's usually something you can get past easily enough, but some stranger coming up to you and propositioning you is really not all you might think it should be - even if she is hot.

[The Fonz]

Damn, I wanted to be done arguing...

You win.

[enthused]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

Woo! Found it, finally!

(PS: electrical... circuit designer)

Wow, good thing I can read properly.....

Electrical, mechanical... same thing! Haha.

[flip]

Originally Posted by FireFly

So you've never met a girl with a high sex drive AND morals. Gotcha. My exes would tell you that I have a high sex drive. In fact, I often complained I wasn't getting laid enough. And yet, I've never cheated on a partner. Strange, huh? In fact, I've actually been celibate for a number of months now waiting for someone worth my time who deserves my freaky sex. And I'm okay with that. Crazy, eh?

So maybe I could go into a crowd and ask who wanted a piece and get one... but I'd still never do it. When I find someone I want to talk to in the morning, I'll take them to bed and stay there until I hurt.

So what you're saying is YOU would cheat if it was easier for you to do so, and because of that you're projecting those thoughts onto others with a similar sex drive. Now it makes sense.

I'm fairly certain not ALL men would cheat if it were that easy. Or maybe that's just a stupid assumption from a trusting idiot.

Not all men would cheat if it were that easy. We do have morals too. If the situation were reversed hopefully men would have higher standards of how often and who to screw.

As to your statement that you have a high sex drive and don't get enough. Don't want to call you out or anything but I've never met a girl who didn't say she had a high sex drive. Seriously. Every single girl I've ever dated or been friends with gives me the old "all my boyfriends/female friends are amazed because I can't get enough". Even every guy has told me that his g/f can't get enough and is always complaining.

And yet I've never met a girl who like to screw more than a guy (I only know my own experience but from what I know most guys are like me). They all say they do, but really they only think about sex about 1/3 as much.

I honestly know guys that think masturbating 27 times in one month is a low number. G/f or not.

In fact some girls who are sluts don't even have that high of a sex drive. They honestly just have daddy issues, or some other problems, and like the attention that screwing a lot of guys gets them. It is short term reward. All the guys who are desperate to get laid chat them up, lavish them with attention - and sometimes the not so desperate ones too - but generally young guys have less morals IMO. The other girls get jealous. It may have nothing to do with actual sex drive. And then when they hit their mid 20s and guys start to want a steady girl who has long term potential these former attn grabbers can't get a good guy because their stock is so devalued. Then it becomes a self perpetuating problem because they have to continually devalue themselves to get attn. Furthermore, they can't hold a relationship if they do find a guy who doesn't know about their history because they can't sustain a long term relationship without any previous experience and are actually so inept they become toxic when dealing with good men.

[Dion]

[flip]

Originally Posted by jammies

I don't think the difficulty barrier has anything to do with how many men cheat. It isn't significantly more difficult for a man to find a willing woman than vice versa; in fact, if you think about it, it is exactly as easy for men as women to find a partner, given that (normal heterosexual) relations have one man and one woman, which means each sex has been equally successful in their search.

We may perceive that it is more difficult as men, but that is because we think that we are doing all the work of seduction, but conversely it is difficult for a woman to connect with a man she finds attractive because she is forced into more of a passive role where her choice is circumscribed by what men choose to approach her. If you have sisters or female friends, you are sure to have heard about the guy she has a crush on but "he doesn't know I exist", whereas with a guy it is more likely that she does know you exist, as you've made your interest plain, but she doesn't care - in the end, though, you're equal in that neither of you are getting who you want.

Finally, if you've ever been directly approached for sex as a man, you know that it's actually rather off-putting. It sounds like it'd be like a sundae with awesome on top, but in reality you are forced into a role that you generally don't play, and don't know what the rules are. If it's a woman you know and generally like, it's usually something you can get past easily enough, but some stranger coming up to you and propositioning you is really not all you might think it should be - even if she is hot.

It isn't that I unequivocally disagree with this but it is only about 55% true.

A lot of what you say has merit but most of it is so conditional that to try and make any type of generalization makes it hard to agree with.

You aren't totally wrong but you aren't really right either.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by flip

It isn't that I unequivocally disagree with this but it is only about 55% true.

Ok... like which part? Speaking of generalizations...

[flip]

Originally Posted by jammies

Ok... like which part? Speaking of generalizations...

Well you are right that hetersexual sex involves two people so they each get laid because of it.

Yet there are factors to be considered when someone tries to find a suitable mating partner. Women tend to be the "protectors". Biologically it is in their best interests to only mate with the strongest of the herd, the one who gives their offspring the best chance of survival.

This isn't completely true in today's society but there are elements of this that remain in females today.

Your second paragraph I mostly agree with. It does generalize a bit to say that women and/or men always feel one way or another but I think generally people would agree with this.

As for the whole getting sex propositioned to a guy it really depends. If you are saying I'm just walking down the street and a random, hot woman walks up and says "come with me we're going to f***". I would likely pass.

However, if a woman approaches me and makes small talk and slowly seduces me, leading me to believe that our having sex after only knowing each other for 3 hours is just an irresistable spark, then maybe.

Moreover, if we're at the bar or any other such place where my female detection is higher than usual (ie I'm on the hunt), then I think the chances increase further yet that we may screw because I'll be even more forthcoming and she won't have to do as much to get me to have sex with her. That being said not every time I go drinking/to the pub/to the bar am I looking for a quick lay. However, I don't really view nightclubs as good places to meet future mates, I prefer more casual atmosphere where talking is involved.

So like I said to just say any woman who offers sex, even if hot, is totally unatractive to guys isn't true. I'd say a large number of men would say yes even in very questionable circumstances. If the man actually feels as though he is in a position to "pick up" the girl or if he gets the feeling they have such an immediate and deep connection that he may have sex with her.

Which reminds me of something that may or may not be on topic. It was about men being attracted to random women and how they perceived the women (heck I may even have read it on CP). It basically said that you can put a woman anywhere, doing anything, wearing anything in any place where there are men and regardless of what she is doing, even if she's just staring into space, at least some of the men will believe that she is interested in them. Not sure what underlying traits that is showing exactly, other than maybe we lie to ourselves to get our hopes up, or have really bad abilities to judge female interest but I don't doubt that it is true.

[J pold]

Holy talk about stuff batman!

Do I dare take the plunge of joining on this conversation?...Hells yes, My humble standpoint:

From a mans perspective, I agree that I wouldn't date a girl with a large number of sexual partners however for different reasons that have been listed (as far as I can tell). I was raised in a religious home and even though I'm not a religious person now the moral lessons I learned are with me today. My mom was never shy about the sex talk and at a very young age I was taught to have a tremendous amount of respect for my body and the people I choose to share it with.

I've been approached indirectly by women for nothing but sex and when I was younger I took those opportunities, but in the end it left me feeling worse about myself. Now that I'm older I don't just go out and have sex with anyone, I keep it to people who I have respect for and care about on some level, and I hold women to those standards as well. I don't think that's unreasonable

I do agree that women are held to a huge double standard in our society. I also believe that women's sex drives can be just as strong or stronger than men, but they can't always act on on it because of the social stigmas the could face. This doesn't mean that they cheat on their partners routinely. Most of the mistrust guys have for women comes from their own insecurities. I know because I was that way when I was younger and it cost me a fantastic girl. Now that I'm older I'm more sure of myself and my abilities to attract and maintain a healthy relationship.

Fffffffffff I should be studying.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by flip

Your second paragraph I mostly agree with. It does generalize a bit to say that women and/or men always feel one way or another but I think generally people would agree with this.

Well yah, this is obviously generalization on my part, but I didn't want to go into too much detail for the ADD generation among us.

Originally Posted by flip

As for the whole getting sex propositioned to a guy it really depends. If you are saying I'm just walking down the street and a random, hot woman walks up and says "come with me we're going to f***". I would likely pass.

That's really what I was referring too, although I moojed it up a bit; I should have separated out the part about being propositioned by a friend. A friend (preferably female) who tells you she wants you usually just means you are either clueless as to the signals she was putting out or else not attracted (which is a whole 'nother topic of awkward), but that is qualitatively far different than some stranger coming up to you looking for sex.

I would guess that 90% of men would react as you and I would, and say "No thanks." I've had it happen to me several times and it just isn't in any way stimulating, even after filtering out the ones I wouldn't have slept with under any circumstances. I think the myth that guys will sleep with any available woman is not even remotely true, and it'd be far more accurate to say that SOME guys will sleep with any reasonably attractive woman, and that's as far as it goes.

I'll use a food analogy - just because men like looking at and fantasizing about attractive women doesn't mean all men are sluts, just like how everybody likes to eat doesn't mean they all end up morbidly obese.

[flip]

Vincent Price rules.

I'm doing some homework, sitting in my basement with headphones and my Ipod on shuffle. Out of nowhere I get the Vincent Price Excerpt from the DE or 25th Anniversary or whatever of Thriller.

If you've never heard it, check it out.

And then the live version of Stairway from the Led Zep DVD came on. Awesome.

[The Fonz]

I got a booger on my finger, and no matter how long I roll it around in a ball, I just can't seem to flick it off.

[flip]

Originally Posted by The Fonz

I got a booger on my finger, and no matter how long I roll it around in a ball, I just can't seem to flick it off.

That my friend should be in the confession thread...Or maybe the flirting thread.