Work stress suggestions

[FurnaceFace]

I will never forget the advice I received years ago. Ask yourself, "is anyone going to die if this doesn't get done right now?"

For the vast majority of us in the vast majority of cases, the answer is no. If that pile of reports that got dropped on your desk doesn't get processed what's the worst that can happen?

In your case it sounds like you've been focusing on your customers which is always the right approach in my mind. If there is a higher up you can go to and be upfront with comments like

"I'm getting ___ dumped on my desk. I'll get to it, but it won't be a quick turn around because I'm focused on the customers. I think this is the best use of my time and be the greatest help to the company especially given the current downturn. Do you support this position?"

You'll know where you stand then. If the leadership agrees, then that should help alleviate some stress. If they say "we need ___ done sooner" then they have set your priorities and understand by making you do paperwork, customer service will suffer. Or they need to give you help to get the crap done.

I don't think there is any real negative is having to put up your hand saying you're overwhelmed. I think this is the mature approach.

Hopefully a priority conversation would help alleviate some of the stress.

[old-fart]

I hear ya Captain... I was up at 4:00am yesterday staring at the wall, and at 2:00am today. I'm not particularly worried about getting laid off because even if it were to happen, I'd get about 12 months worth of salary as a cushion. Still, we are in the process or org changes and trying to figure out how to best weather the economic storm, and that means messing with people's lives. That, and we still don't have clear direction on what it is we are really trying to accomplish.

I even turned down hockey tickets tonight because by the time the game was over and I got back home it would be pushing 11:30, whereas if I just watch the game on TV I can be in bed by 10:05. Sad.

I don't have a perfect answer. I'm trying to read more to get my mind on other things; I'm trying to start some other businesses that, while adding to the stress in the short term may relieve it long term; I'm trying to plan a holiday that will give me something to look forward to and focus any extra thoughts in that direction...

That, the hot tub, and booze. Not a perfect answer, but it is what it is right now.

[DuffMan]

Originally Posted by missdpuck

And I'm cool with your friend's princely boob. I was just on a rant that night..just think: Bill Guerin's in town tonight too. Should I go down on him

getting jiggy with a pro hockey player, awesome.

[MickMcGeough]

No offense to the good people trying to help here, but nearly all the suggestions so far are not going to help you. I'm paraphrasing Henry Rollins here, but if your day-to-day reality is so unbearable you need to take off to a beach or Europe or whatever and vacate it just to keep yourself sane, you need to change your reality. You may end up returning from your vacation temporarily refreshed. But it sounds like your work has entrenched itself so firmly in "who you are" that it's not going to fix anything, long term.

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I've lost any appetite to eat, I try to work out to burn off stressfull energy, and I don't sleep very well anymore, I'm usually up at 3 in the morning staring at the ceiling and worrying about the next day.

This quote is frightening. octothorp has the right idea with an escape plan of sorts, if even just in your head. You are completely convinced that you need your job. You don't, but the internet telling you this isn't going to change your mind; you've probably internalized this over several years.

Chuck Palahniuk can help you. Seriously. missdpuck joked about Fight Club but that's probably the closest thing to valuable advice in this thread, including my post. The movie mostly wrecked the idea; but read the book and make an honest effort at absorbing the point.

[TheDragon]

Unfortunately, nobody can give you a magic bullet to get over the stress you are feeling. Distracting yourself may help for the short term, but as soon as you climb over those hills, you're right back where you started. I think to truly get rid of stress, it has to come by changing your outlook on work, and perhaps even life in general.

You're on a staircase, and you can't see the top. Eventually it just dwindles into nothingness. You contemplate turning around and calling it quits, but you've lost sight where where the bottom is, and tell yourself you've come too far to give up. Now, do you look up at the staircase and think "I have so far to go!" or do you look up, recognize that tommorow never comes, and instead choose to just think about taking next step?

[Igottago]

Originally Posted by JohnnyFlame

Personally I don't think about my job for one minute the moment I'm out the door. Never have and I doubt I ever will. I go in, on time, don't drink so I don't come in hungover, do my job properly and then it's on to the things I really enjoy.

I have lot's of interests outside of work and I really don't do the(what I consider lame) base my life on what I do to earn money thing. I've travelled all over the world doing my job but it's the things I've done outside of it that were by far the most interesting.

Try coaching, doing a sport, get involved in your community etc. Put work in the spot it belongs--it's something you need to do to earn a living-end of story!!!!!

I used to be able to do this, but no so much anymore. I don't know if its because I'm getting older or what, but I notice that I end up thinking about work a lot more after work hours now, from what I need to do the next day, to whether or not I go into the office a bit early to catch up on some things.

I miss the days where I had that clear separation between work and my non-work life. I probably need to get involved in more outside work activities..easier said than done when you work and come home and feel exhausted after a day of work.

[DuffMan]

Have a kid, that will refocus you.

There's a guy at my work who is the type of guy that works 7 - 6 everyday, and then some on weekends. Once he said he came to work on a saturday because his wife was out of town and he was bored. Work consumes so much of his life and it's not like he really has to, IMO. I've told him multiple times he works too much and takes it too seriously.

Well, apparently his wife is giong to have a kid. This guy I think is pushing 40, even though his wife is pushing 30.

I really hope for him and his family he is able to let go of work being such an important issue for him and he is able to focus more on his family.

[troutman]

I do some work with a business coach from time to time. Everything from marketing plans, time mangement, stress relief. PM me if you are interested.

[ok, ok,....I get it]

a bottle of scotch (your choice) and a bottle of Drambuie (must be drambuie), a dark room, and your rifle collection.......

[MickMcGeough]

Originally Posted by DuffMan

Have a kid, that will refocus you.

The only thing worse that being stuck at a job that sucks the life out of you is having someone else depending on you to be at that job.

DM: I know you're just trying to help but the last thing the Captain needs here is to exponentially increase his fiscal responsibilities.

[millhouse11]

why not go on stress leave if it's that bad? It's your health man.
Although, it's hard to do that. I almost did last year, and felt guilty. A year later and more layoffs, I don't give a crap anymore.

[fredr123]

Originally Posted by DuffMan

Have a kid, that will refocus you.

It will also save your relationship with your significant other.

[DuffMan]

I'm just saying a kid will make a job seem less important. Not for everyone, and no, I'm not saying do it for those reasons, just saying it can happen.

Really I'd suggest booze or a hobby.

[JohnnyFlame]

Originally Posted by Igottago

I used to be able to do this, but no so much anymore. I don't know if its because I'm getting older or what, but I notice that I end up thinking about work a lot more after work hours now, from what I need to do the next day, to whether or not I go into the office a bit early to catch up on some things.

I miss the days where I had that clear separation between work and my non-work life. I probably need to get involved in more outside work activities..easier said than done when you work and come home and feel exhausted after a day of work.

Well I suspect I'm older than you are and it's the days where I don't have something else to do that I feel tired. Otherwise I'm looking forward to my evening/weekends. Yes!!! get involved as going to work and then just vegetating is a mighty boring prospect. I'm coaching two basketball teams at the moment. Then it's on to rugby season. Then summer where I bring out the clubs and whack that little white(yeah I stick to the white ones) as hard as I can.

[JiriHrdina]

When do you work out? When I had a stressful job I always found hitting the gym after work was an excellent stress reliever - and I found it provided me with a good transition from work to home. I would go to the gym for about an hour and work through all my frustration, by the time I got home I felt much more relaxed. If I went straight home after work I had a harder time not thinking about everything.

[SeeGeeWhy]

Sounds like you've made your job your life.

Meditate - make a concentrated effort to think about nothing each day and then see what happens. Its very difficult at first, you'll have a lot of images, thoughts and voices in your mind and body. Concentrate on your breathing and ignore everything else. Gradually, you'll get very good at it.

Its not the solution, but a tool to help add balance to your day. Doing this should help you become clear on some of the other possibilities you might want to pursue in life.

Tackling the fear that will hold you back from doing those things is another story, but the short answer is to walk right through it.

Changing jobs just for the sake of change will not help, either. Your actions need purpose... without purpose there is no fulfilment.

[Titan]

I think Fredr123 was on the right path, as far as the sleeping goes at least. Well before bedtime write down everything you have to do the next day and prioritize each item. This gives you mind the chance to address the issues it needs to and lets your mind know the items will be dealt with and in what order. Then, ask yourself what on the list can you do right now. The answer is likely nothing. That gives your mind permission to go to sleep so that you can awaken refreshed and ready to tackle your list. Then in the morning, when you get to work you say what is most important and what can I do right now to make it closer to happening. Do that thing and you can now claim an accomplishment and away you go. Give the worry over to the list.

Also, I have been taking melatonin before sleep and have found I fall asleep quicker and have a deeper sleep.

Exercise is also good advice.

[Clarkey]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I thought in these times of economic confusion that this might be a proper thread to, well you know help people out that are facing a ton of job stresses from layoff possibilites, to increased workload through to layoffs, to even those people that have lost their jobs, and their new work is finding work.

The other reason is that I seem to be having trouble with my stress points in my life and it would be nice to get some ideas, because the concept of not taking it home for example is not working.

Personally, I run a one man department, with the majority of the work involving sales to our existing client base. This would be easy selling except that I seem to be getting work thrown on my desk that shouldn't involve me, however one man department. I also stress because I worry about the implementation of what I sell.

I've lost any appetite to eat, I try to work out to burn off stressfull energy, and I don't sleep very well anymore, I'm usually up at 3 in the morning staring at the ceiling and worrying about the next day.

I would do the hooker and blow thing, but if I spend money on that, then my nest egg gets eaten away in a hurry.

How do people not take work away from work?

How can I reduce the care factor like some of my coworkers?

Anyways, surely I'm not alone in feeling this way?

Update?

[MrMastodonFarm]

His boss passed away and CaptainCrunch is now ceo of Apple Computers.

[PostandIn]

Originally Posted by SeeGeeWhy

Sounds like you've made your job your life.

Meditate - make a concentrated effort to think about nothing each day and then see what happens. Its very difficult at first, you'll have a lot of images, thoughts and voices in your mind and body. Concentrate on your breathing and ignore everything else. Gradually, you'll get very good at it.

Its not the solution, but a tool to help add balance to your day. Doing this should help you become clear on some of the other possibilities you might want to pursue in life.

Tackling the fear that will hold you back from doing those things is another story, but the short answer is to walk right through it.

Changing jobs just for the sake of change will not help, either. Your actions need purpose... without purpose there is no fulfilment.

^ This is the best advice so far in this thread. You have little influence on those things out of your control but you do have the ability to better manage how you react and are impacted by them. The reason so many of us have trouble sleeping is that we don't deal effectively with the cycle of (usually negative) thoughts that rumble through our heads. You rewire your brain with new pathways, but as SeeGeeWhy suggests, it takes time.

Meditation is an immediate thing you can do with no investment other than time and a willingness to learn. It's the only (non-chemical) thing I know of that calms the inner voice and starts moving you to better patterns of thoughts.

Try this as a start for breathing: just sitting where you are, find a spot on the wall or an object 10 - 15 feet away, fix your eyes on it, inhale slowly for a five count, hold for a three count and exhale slowly over a five to seven count. Force yourself to do this for two minutes. There are all kinds of guided meditations on the net or at the google store / app store. If you look around you'll probably find something you like.

Next, I would recommend yoga or tai chi. On the yoga front, because you are a DDP Yoga aficionado, you are half way there. And you don't need to be a Buddhist to do Tai Chi.

.02/


EDIT: Oops, didn't see this was a random bump. Any hoo ...