Best/Funniest thread you've ever read

[Frequitude]

Originally Posted by Bobblehead

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/....php?p=2943767

Win. That beautifully caps off a Friday. My gut hurts.

[Bertuzzied]

Originally Posted by habernac

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthread.php?t=13593

I like how Reggie takes full credit for that story, like it actually happened to him.

[Buff]

I can't find it anymore, but I stumbled upon a thread where a guy regales the story of how he converted his computer case to use water cooling. He sealed it all up every part, made a hole to pour the water in, sealed up that hole and.... fireworks! Then he got mad at the people of that forum for suggesting water cooling and demanded that they fix his problem. People started picking on him. Fights broke out. The joke was on all the people as the guy made up the story and continued to play the part after people started ridiculing him.

[DynamRyan]

This is quite old now..but. Oh my word, I have never laughed so hard at anything proposed on the internet. Probably ever.

It's from HFboards. A guy puts forth a proposal for a ski resort under the sea. Honestly. Complete with mspaint drawing. Just. read.

http://hfboards.com/showthread.php?t=357264

[Traditional_Ale]

^ I love how someone said they should make a Brendan Fraser movie about it.

[DynamRyan]

The idea of a skate as the logo on the national flag is my favourite.

[flip]

I only read one other forum and they aren't really funny people.

I'd nominate a few from CP. Other than that the only one is from beyond, where they started a thread about a guy driving like a ###### in Tuscany, speeding all the time, it was my buddy who was doing it. We found it rather hilarious because people were bashing him pretty hard.

[The Fonz]

Originally Posted by Bobblehead

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/....php?p=2943767

I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard at this

[black rubber disc bunny]

For a while there I really looked forward to new FFFFFFUUUUUU posts.

[Dion]

Oh the Beemanity!

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sho...readid=2243176

[McG]

i have never laughed so hard online as our "meet the president" threads.

the one where he wants to meet cp chicks in particular made me lol.

and the lolcats one is a goodie too...but i posted in that so i am biased.

and the FFFFFFFFFcccccccc thread is a must find whenever i login.

[CaramonLS]

Originally Posted by McG

i have never laughed so hard online as our "meet the president" threads.

the one where he wants to meet cp chicks in particular made me lol.

and the lolcats one is a goodie too...but i posted in that so i am biased.

and the FFFFFFFFFcccccccc thread is a must find whenever i login.

Where is that one about him meeting chicks? I remember I posted something in there, but I can't seem to find the thread.

[csnarpy]

my favorite for a long time is the extension cords thread and its spin off...

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthr...extension+cord

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthr...extension+cord

[onetwo_threefour]

Okay, I know this is supposed to be about other threads, but the blimp story forces me to post this and it's not that long.

About ten years ago, when I was in first year of law school, my wife and I lived in a basement suite in Montgomery. At first it was okay, even though we somehow both failed to notice that the suite didn't have a bathtub (although we both swore up and down that we'd remembered seeing one), nor any closet space except for about a four foot wide closet in a hallway down from the bedroom.

It was actually okay for about six months or so until we got some new upstairs neighbours who were absolute idiots. Besides playing Mambo #5 incessantly, and doping up the whole house every weekend, they had a couple of half-wild farm dogs that used to attack our dogs when we let them out in the back yard to play.

So far, we're living with all this, then in the late winter, we suddenly start to hear strange noises coming from above the suspended ceiling panels in the lower part of our unit. (it was on two levels, the upper was originally an attached garage converted into living room and kitchen, the lower was the original basement with two tiny bedrooms, a bathroom and a laundry room that regularly flooded from the outside whenever it rained.)

The noises were scitchy-scratchy noises and one day I stuck my head up in the ceiling to find myself staring at a mouse running by with a dog kibble in it's mouth. Now, we've always kept our dogfood in sealed cans, so we knew that it must be the upstairs neighbours leaving the food out where vermin could get at it, which was no surprise because they were complete slobs...

Anyway, that is really the prelude to the story, we put mouse traps in the ceiling, complained to the landlord, and hoped everything would sort itself out. That's when the fun really started. We'd catch a mouse or two a day, but at night we'd constantly be hearing these scratching and chewing sounds, and the pattering of mouse feet running back and forth across the ceiling in our bedroom. You'd try to sleep, but you couldn't help hearing it and imagining what they were doiing up there.

So anyway, after a couple of weeks of this, one night I'm lying in bed at about 4 AM and there a g-damn mouse scratching and chewing literally over my head for like half an hour, and I'm going batsh-t crazy with it. So I decided to do somthing to try and scare it away. I reached over on to my crappy little nightstand and grabbed an eraser that was sitting there from having been doing some reviewing and notes before bed for class the next day. It was a pretty new eraser, one of those nice white rectangular gum erasers about 1"X3" and with a good bit of heft.

Now, before I continue, in my defence, I had been sleeping badly for two weeks and 4 AM is not a good time to plan a mouse offensive. I thought that if I whipped the eraser at roughly the spot on the ceiling where I could hear the little bast--d, I could scare the living s--t out of it and make it run away so I could get some sleep. But there was a fatal flaw in my plan... my wife was soundly sleeping beside me with no forewarning of what I was about to do. So I laid on my back at the edge of the bed so I could get a good arm-swing going for a throw and hucked that eraser at the ceiling as hard as I could. To some degree the plan worked. There was a sharp thwap and thud as the eraser hit the ceiling panel, popped it up, and it fell back into place. The scurrying mouse feet immediately bolted. However, i had no time to enjoy my success because, almost simultaneously, my wife woke up screaming like she was being murdered.

It turns out that I had failed to take simple physics and psychology into account, in particluar the law of gravity and the knowledge that both my wife and i shared that we had been living under a family of mice for some time. When I threw the eraser up, it came back down, and landed on my wife's forehead, then bounced off into her hair. She awoke to the feeling of the eraser hitting her just after a loud noise from the ceiling immediately above her and instinctively knew that a mouse had just fallen on her face from the ceiling and was in her hair. She went from prone to vertical faster than fotze in a thread about sausage and was jumping up and down on the bed trying to get the 'mouse' out of her hair.

At that point I made the cardinal error and started laughing out loud. I got a look of death, and it took her about tewnty minutes to calm down. Now it's one of our funny 'poor student stories' but I thought I was a dead man for about thirty seconds when she saw me laughing...

[4X4]

Ah, onetwo_threefour, you've reminded me of a story that some will find funny and others will quietly plot my death over...
A couple years ago, back in Wopoly, I lived in an apartment with my friend and business partner. It was a huge apartment, by Rome standards and we, being in the hostel business, had converted a couple of the rooms into hostel rooms. My friend had a dog named Leo (pronounced lay-oh) and we were harbouring an illegal Romanian immigrant named Fiori. Fiori got free room and board for the bargain price of doing the dishes, feeding and walking Leo and cleaning the bathrooms and mopping. Since she was Leo's primary caregiver, Leo had a tendancy to sleep with her, on her bed, in the bigger hostel room.
One day, out of sheer opportunity, we sold my room as a private room. That meant that I had to sleep in the hostel room with the hostelites and Fiori and Leo. No big deal. I went out, drank like a fish and came home and passed out on one of the empty top bunks in the 12 bed room. Slept like a baby until about 6am when I was awoken by Leo. Leo licking his balls.
Now, I'm sure many of you have had or do have dogs and you've heard them lick their balls, but Leo had some kind of obsession with his balls. Once he'd start licking, he wouldn't stop. And it was disgustingly loud.
Argh. So I wake up at 6am to incessant ball licking with a splitting headache. I can't very well yell at him because the room is 3/4 full and it's not kosher to disturb your guests with middle of the night screaming. So I do the next best thing... Check my pockets for ammo. Yes, I was sleeping fully clothed. Just a wise idea in a hostel bed, even if you own it. So I pull out a mini lighter, sit up, stare at Leo for a few seconds to let my eyes adjust, wind up and wing the lighter at him. *THWOCK* It bounces right off his skull, flew up in the air, and landed on the bed. Almost perfectly silent. Only me and Leo knew.

[McG]

Originally Posted by CaramonLS

Where is that one about him meeting chicks? I remember I posted something in there, but I can't seem to find the thread.

i can't find the threads...i wonder if they were before we changed software?

[octothorp]

I love that blimp story. The guy seriously has a gift for comic writing.

I wish I could find my 'pickpocketed in siberia' thread; I guess it disappeared during one of the forum migrations as I can't find it when I search. Not as great as snotboy, but it's up there.

[BuzzardsWife]

NO thread in particular that I can think of, but some peoples comments make me laugh so hard. Most recently was a comment someone made on the 'guy wants his kidney back'. They said the woman who got her husbands kidney cheated on her husband, and someone commented 'well maybe she just prefers guys with 2 kidneys'. Don't know why but that still makes me laugh out loud.
Oh and the Exterminate all Bears was pretty entertaining.

[Regulator75]

So, I got married... LMFAO!
6.2 million views hits already.

http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f7/i-g...d-pics-877461/

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by Canada 02

http://hfboards.com/showthread.php?t...hlight=Schremp

lol, my two favourite idiots over at HF's. BBO because he his love of Schremp and the use of three question marks. And Mr. Sakich for never knowing what the hell is he talking about.

That short thread sums up the Oiler fans over there perfectly. Wild over the top expectations of marginal players.