Weird old sayings and phrases

[Calgaryborn]

"Pull hard and it will come easy"

"Put your back into it"

"looking uptown"

"make hay while the sun shines"

"feels like an eight"

"Brush scattered all over like a mad women's sh't"

"Nobody moves nobody gets hurt"

"He's got an Albertan drivers licence"

"I've got friends I haven't used yet"

"a stuffed shirt"

[burn_this_city]

Hahah whats the story behind the alberta drivers licence..?? Does that mean hes a tailgating ahole whos driving too fast..??

[ResAlien]

I don't know how old it is, but realised I use variations of "giving me the business" all the time, especially with my daughter when she's beaking off. Quit giving me the business!

[Calgaryborn]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

Hahah whats the story behind the alberta drivers licence..?? Does that mean hes a tailgating ahole whos driving too fast..??

Drives too fast on the straight stretches to pass and slows down way too much on the corners. With more corners than straight stretches it makes for slow travelling.

[bigtmac19]

Originally Posted by Swayze11

slow as molasses is something I heard quite often from my Dad.

I know that one too, but we said slow as molasses in January

[ok, ok,....I get it]

face like a bag of a$$holes

face like bulldog chewing a wasp

sharp as a bag of wet hair

thick as too planks

[bigtmac19]

The lights are on but nobody's home.
Dead as a doornail.
The cat's meow (similar to cat's ass)

[Berger_4_]

My one grandpa is a really loves to use "You're a buncha damn queers."

Makes me laugh every time he says it, since he's grumbling but trying not to laugh at the same time. I think he's started to tone down the usage though because we laugh at him every time he whips 'er out haha.

[black rubber disc bunny]

This saying always makes me chuckle. (NSFW)

[NuclearFart]

When it's time to leave:

"lets make like a horse's dick and hit the road"

[Dion]

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

[Bob]

Pretty much all from my Dad (or his dad):

"Blacker then the inside of a cow."
"Dumber then a bag of hammers."
"Dead as a door nail."
"You know Max? Max no difference."

[NuclearFart]

Originally Posted by fotze

I like that one/

Do they have a German translation?

[ricosuave]

Go paint a piano

Hard as a wedding c0ck

Tight as a mosquitos ass stretched over a rain barrel

That'll learn him/ya

Oddly enough this one older guy I worked with supplied all of the above!

[Eastern Girl]

Whenever there's a lull in conversation, my friends and I borrow from the Simpsons and trot out, "...So, I says to Mabel, I says..."

[ricosuave]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

Whenever there's a lull in conversation, my friends and I borrow from the Simpsons and trot out, "...So, I says to Mabel, I says..."

love that one LOL

[chris lindberg]

Blow it out your @SS.

[corporatejay]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

Whenever there's a lull in conversation, my friends and I borrow from the Simpsons and trot out, "...So, I says to Mabel, I says..."

Hah, we bust out that one a lot too. We also use "so there i was, walking to shelbyville with an onion on my belt which was the style at the time..." and "five bees for a quarter".

I know those quotes may not be accurate but that's how we quote them now.

[Stranger]

Originally Posted by corporatejay

Hah, we bust out that one a lot too. We also use "so there i was, walking to shelbyville with an onion on my belt which was the style at the time..." and "five bees for a quarter".

I know those quotes may not be accurate but that's how we quote them now.

We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell ‘em stories that don’t go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

[Stranger]

More Abe Simpson

My story begins in Nineteen dickety two. We had to say "dickety" because the Kaiser had stolen our word for "twenty." I chased him down the road but gave up after dickety-six miles...


Three wars back we called Sauerkraut "liberty cabbage" and we called liberty cabbage "super slaw" and back then a suitcase was known as a "Swedish lunch box." Of course, nobody knew that but me. Anyway, long story short... is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling...


Then after World War Two, it got kinda quiet, 'till Superman challenged FDR to a race around the world. FDR beat him by a furlong, or so the comic books would have you believe. The truth lies somewhere in between...


I leave these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub and… hey! Where are you going?
... Anyway, about my washtub. I’d just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as... a walking bird. We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball"...