When Your Brain Comes to a Screeching Halt....

[me_dennis]

my sisters friend asked her one day, before heading up to edmonton for a concert "should we leave earlier so that we dont miss the concert?"

"why?" my sister asks.

"isn't edmonton half an hour ahead of us?"

[Kipper is King]

Originally Posted by me_dennis

my sisters friend asked her one day, before heading up to edmonton for a concert "should we leave earlier so that we dont miss the concert?"

"why?" my sister asks.

"isn't edmonton half an hour ahead of us?"

Edmonton should be a half hour ahead of Calgary. To make up for the fact that Edmontonians are slow!

[notoepik]

A group of woman in my office were having lunch and the discussion turned to a departed receptionist that had recently had a baby boy. The baby was born blind, and as we discussed the future of the baby and family one of gals blurted out, " Gosh, he is going to have a hard time learning sign language!"

[Displaced Flames fan]

My Dad tells a story of a family member visiting his Mom and Dad in Colorado when he was a kid one fall. They got a fresh coat of snow and the person commented that "The hills are white as indigo."

[fatso]

My brain seizes up anytime I read any of HOZ's posts.

It also seizes up when I read fotze's posts, but for completely different reasons.

[jayswin]

My buddy who's not a CP'er had a good one at Pete's pub. We went there after shinny last Sunday and met Aeneas and Troutman. My buddy was within earshot when Aeneas introduced himself to me. He introduced himself by his real name, then paused for a second before saying "I'm Aeneas".

Once we got back in the truck to head to the next pub, my buddy sat there looking perplexed, before finally saying "hey man, why did that one guy introduce himself to you and then say "I'm anus"?

[stang]

PLaying pool at the local billards place, Girl we are playing with notices a sign that says "Hey Ladys, Free Pool on Weds nights"

She goes "You can swim here?"

True story

[calf]

Originally Posted by stang

PLaying pool at the local billards place, Girl we are playing with notices a sign that says "Hey Ladys, Free Pool on Weds nights"

She goes "You can swim here?"

True story

I don't believe it...an Edmonton girl that can read?

[WesternCanadaKing]

A while back I was eating lunch at Burger Inn off of 4th St. when this guy comes in and sits down with this other dude who had been waiting there for a while.

While sitting down he says "Sorry I'm late man, I had to help my grandma get a marble out of her nose"

[Ozy_Flame]

I always get a laugh out of people who replace swear words with nerdy one-liners and a condescending tone. For example, instead of using the usual "F*** you, you motherf******", someone uses "Hey, calm down Jumpy Joe! No need to blow a gasket!"

I always think of Ned Flanders on a bad day.