What is the weirdest thing to ever happen to you?

[ken0042]

When Jorje thinks border crossing, he is thinking about crossing a river, scaling an electric fence, and evading the Feds.

[Jayems]

So this was a few years ago at Market Mall. I was walking at what is now the Santa thing at the mall (right by the new apple store) anyways, it was just open space at this time. I'm walking north, towards the Bay, they're going south. And by they, I mean three women. They were walking in tandem to each other, one in front of the other. I don't remember the front and the back ones, but the middle one was a business woman, about 30. She had a skirt on.

The second I walked by, she let out this booming fart. And I mean, a boomer. Something every man would have received a high-five for.

All 3 stopped. The middle one cocked her head, looked at me in disgust, and went "UGH!"

After she blamed me for her deed, the other two gave me the same look then carried on their way. I walked on, confused. I just broke out in laughter. It was the most bizarre thing. So random. I still laugh about it.

[cyclone3483]

Originally Posted by stang

THey are Border markers to show the Alberta/Saskatchewan border in Lloydminster.

They are supposed to resemble surveyor stakes, you damn Mexicano!

Jorje should recognize border markers. He's jumped a border before.

[onetwo_threefour]

I have a similar story to the Mustang one. About fifteen years ago, my sister and I were driving west down 16th Av. at the bottom of the hill past the Foothills where it goes around the bend. It was a pretty rainy night and we were probably doing about 65, and this cherry red Corvette Stingray, maybe two or three years old comes blowing by us doing at least 150-160. After he passed us he had to cross the yellow line to pass two oother cars that were running abreast, and then cut back over to avoid hitting oncoming traffic. He didn't make it. He cut back too hard and lost control, and starts doing a flat spin on the road. It was one of those things that you almost see in slo-mo when you're watching because it was so amazing. He spun around three times before hitting the curb, then went airborne. The car flipped end over end and ended up wrapped arount a big concrete block in front of the 7-11. It was exactly like something out of a movie, but nobody walked away.

[PsYcNeT]

The only time I have ever been mugged, I had $7 (a five and a toonie) in my wallet.

After relieving me of my change, one of the muggers punched the other, took the money, and ran away.

[Resolute 14]

Driving home very late one night (or very early one morning, depending on your view), I was headed home to Airdrie, and coming into town, the entire intersection of Hwy 2 and Yankee Valley Blvd was gone. All I saw was pure blackness and the disembodied traffic lights.The road into this intersection was fine, the road out was fine, but that spot simply was not there. Freaked me right out.

That same night, I saw a zamboni driving up 14th St. at John Laurie Blvd.

And before anyone asks, I was dead sober.

Passed a 70+ year old woman in pink pyjamas on a Harley on 32nd Ave once. Just about the only time in my life I did a literal double take.

[cyclone3483]

So I was in a bar in Strathmore a few years back and this group of 30 cross-dressers and transvestities come in.

They all got ridiculously drunk and danced their asses off all night, but by the end of the last set (around 1am or so) they were out of control.

So this guy on stage is doing a lame a$$ attempt at a solo during "Funky Music" and all of a sudden a couple of the tranvestites jump on stage and put their hands down the front of his pants!

He seemed to be really into it until one of them spoke, in a very manly voice. He called it off at that point.

[stang]

Originally Posted by cyclone3483

So I was in a bar in Strathmore a few years back and this group of 30 cross-dressers and transvestities come in.

They all got ridiculously drunk and danced their asses off all night, but by the end of the last set (around 1am or so) they were out of control.

So this guy on stage is doing a lame a$$ attempt at a solo during "Funky Music" and all of a sudden a couple of the tranvestites jump on stage and put their hands down the front of his pants!

He seemed to be really into it until one of them spoke, in a very manly voice. He called it off at that point.

Its not gay if your Penis is bigger then hers!!!

[stang]

Originally Posted by Resolute 14

Driving home very late one night (or very early one morning, depending on your view), I was headed home to Airdrie, and coming into town, the entire intersection of Hwy 2 and Yankee Valley Blvd was gone. All I saw was pure blackness and the disembodied traffic lights.The road into this intersection was fine, the road out was fine, but that spot simply was not there. Freaked me right out.

That same night, I saw a zamboni driving up 14th St. at John Laurie Blvd.

And before anyone asks, I was dead sober.

Passed a 70+ year old woman in pink pyjamas on a Harley on 32nd Ave once. Just about the only time in my life I did a literal double take.

I had one like this.. but it turned out alright...

Anyways they twinned the road to Saskatoon from Lloydminster.... And I hadnt drove it in a while, so anyways we are driving and the town of Maidstone just wasnt there! We used to stop at a gas station there, and it just wasnt there anymore...

Turns out the new highway bypasses it now..

[jeremywilhelm]

Not sure if this is something weird that happened to me, or more something weird/stupid i decided to do.

So i was in Greece in 2003 for the world university championships. The competition was over and me and two other team mates had stuck around for a couple days after the rest of the team left.
We had to leave the next morning so we decided to go for a wander to find some Canadian whiskey (R and R, Canadian Club, Gibsons, whatever) we end up getting completely hammered wandering around athens. So we get back to the hotel around 2 am (our flight leaves at 6 am). Now, outside our hotel there was construction going on for the 2004 oympics, so there was a bunch of scaffolding going down the outside of the hotel to the ground. Earlier on in the week I joked about how we should skip out on the bill and just crawl down the scaffolding. Knowing the guys sticking around with me would never do it.

Anyways we get back to the hotel at 2 am and my two teammates are like, "OK, lets do it!" I was skeptical, but i packed my stuff and got ready and BAM! all of a sudden, im hammered, crawling down scaffolding 60 feet up from the ground with a 80 pounds duffelbag in my hands. We are about 20 feet off the ground when the bag slips out of my friends hand.
Clang clang clang it falls almost to the ground, but gets hung up on the scaffolding. Us, being the genius's that we are, just continue on down. I get about 8 or 9 feet from the ground and jump. My friends jump down beside me....

And the hotel manager is standing at the corner about 20 feet away staring at us.

So... of course, I yell "run!!!"

We get around a corner into an alley and i jump behind this large dumpster while one the guys keeps on running ahead down the dark alley. I look back, and the third guy is just standing at the mouth of the alley with a deject look of having given up on his face. (im hidden behind the dumpster). So the Manager walks to the end of the alley and yells "please come out, and i will not call the cops"

I of course am thinking, "bullcrap!"

but seeing as how my one friend was already caught, I wait about 5 mins and then just walk out of the alley. The guy takes us back into the hotel to the lobby and starts rummaging behind the desk. Im thinking, "ok, great, greek jail, this is gonna be one mulleted sodomy freak show".
So i reach in my pocket and ask him how much it will cost for him to not call the cops.

He looks at me and says "please, just pay your bill"

I look at him with incredulousness, hand him the 200 euros and we jump in a taxi to leave.

At which point my friend who got away shows up out front of the hotel. He jumps in and we head to the airport, scott free, and laughing histerically.

I guess its not the weirdest thing, but i thought it was a little strange that all the guy wanted was for me to pay my bill.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by cyclone3483

So I was in a bar in Strathmore a few years back and this group of 30 cross-dressers and transvestities come in.

They all got ridiculously drunk and danced their asses off all night, but by the end of the last set (around 1am or so) they were out of control.

So this guy on stage is doing a lame a$$ attempt at a solo during "Funky Music" and all of a sudden a couple of the tranvestites jump on stage and put their hands down the front of his pants!

He seemed to be really into it until one of them spoke, in a very manly voice. He called it off at that point.

LMAO. Well done!

Actually, one time I had a gig playing New Years in Drumheller (I know, I know...woot woot...) and didn't realize some dood was totally hitting on me.

I thought he was staff at the venue and simply was noticing when my drink was empty and getting me another. I had no idea the guy was paying for them. Its not like he was approaching during breaks or anything, just kept refilling my drink religiously during sets.

So eventually before the nights out he strikes up a normal conversation but then tries to put his hands on me. FINALLY I CLUE THE EFF IN!!! So I stopped him and explained I wasn't into doods...at all.

Buddy tries to start a fight, but my band jumped in and he was ejected.

Really weird, and really akward. Not easy being a straight male who plays sax I guess. My girlfriend loves cashing in on the over-developed face/mouth muscles though...

[jeremywilhelm]

nm

[pope04]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Some hottie and her hottie mom started playing with my junk together!

Yeah! Love those Penthouse Forum stories!

[troutman]

Originally Posted by PsYcNeT

The only time I have ever been mugged, I had $7 (a five and a toonie) in my wallet.

After relieving me of my change, one of the muggers punched the other, took the money, and ran away.

Aeneas deserved the punch.

[troutman]

Weirdest things that happend to me? See the Cecil Hotel thread . . .

[CaptainCrunch]

I went to the bar one night and got totally ripped, had a great time, picked up this incredibly hot girl, took her home and did gods business with her. When I woke up the next morning, my arm was tingling, and somewhere in the middle of the night the hottie took off, called her incredibly fat ugly twin sister and sent her over to take her place.

Weird.

[4X4]

One day I was helping a friend move. There was 5 or 6 of us and we had just finished loading all the trucks and were going to make the run but stopped for a breather and had a smoke & a beer on the back lawn.

So we're just sitting on the lawn on a beautiful windless, sunny day when we hear this really loud cracking noise. We look over at the property next door and suddenly the 60' poplar in their yard just falls over and crushes the garage. So after a few seconds of incredulous silence, we went and had a look at the tree. It looked so strange. The trunk just busted out of the roots. Like a bone that somehow pops out of a joint. That was f'n weird.