Fear: phobia's become real life...

[Phanuthier]

So, I happen to be afraid of heights but nevertheless, I'm a pretty active climber. Anyways, I was out near Oakland doing some outdoor climbing and after setting up the top top rope anchor, while repelling down ~90 ft... I realize my harnass isn't completely done up (the main one too, not double backed ) - which of coarse, is a completely stupid mistake to make, especially the one time I forget to do a partner check.

This of coarse really sort of rattled me for the rest of the day but it still gives me the chills a day after.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Yeah, that would freak me out. I'd poop my pants, no doubt about it.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

Yeah, that would freak me out. I'd poop my pants, no doubt about it.

Its sort of weird, but its something that bothers me more and more the more I think about it. At the time, I sort put it behind me and tried to think logically which probably saved my life (another 5 seconds of me not noticing or freaking out and I would have been dead or paralyzed) and I tried to ignore it for the rest of the day since confidence seems to be 90% of climbing, but ever since, its bothering me more and more and freaking me out more and more.

[Coach]

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

Its sort of weird, but its something that bothers me more and more the more I think about it. At the time, I sort put it behind me and tried to think logically which probably saved my life (another 5 seconds of me not noticing or freaking out and I would have been dead or paralyzed) and I tried to ignore it for the rest of the day since confidence seems to be 90% of climbing, but ever since, its bothering me more and more and freaking me out more and more.

Ya I hear that, kinda like almost getting in a head on collision because some guy can't figure out which side of the road is the right side. All day it's just "I could've died today"

[Dion]

A few years back i came close to biting the bulliet. Pulling out on the highway from a secodary road at night and missing the headlights of an oncoming cattle liner. Anything that involves a near death experience is going to shake you up big time. In my experience all i could think about was that fact that i should have been killed and how did i manage to survive.

Give it time and the feelings will fade.

[Sainters7]

One thing I'll say is that if you really enjoy climbing and want to continue, after taking a breather for a bit(obviously), I'd suggest getting out there somewhat soon afterwards. It was definitely a traumatic event, and the longer you wait to get back out there, the less likely you ever will(kinda like the surfer who almost drowns, and afterwards never wants to go out again because of it).

Years ago I fell off a horse and barely missed landing straight down on my neck, I could've been paralyzed. It rattled me huge, but I made myself go back out the next week(even though I was terrified). After that I was fine again. I'm willing to bet if I hadn't gone so soon afterwards, to this day I doubt you'd be able to get me back on a horse.

[A_3]

Jeez man, that's a terrifying mistake. At first I thought you meant that after you tied into your anchor that you didn't loop back on your figure-eight, and I was going to call you the luckiest man alive.

I climb a lot as well, and I'll often have OCD moments mid-climb where I have to check all my gear to make sure I'm cool. But I figure better safe than dead.

This sort of thing does happen though. If you do a little wikipedia'ing you can read about all sorts of world renown climbers putting themselves in threatening situations by sketching on their equipment.

I'm sure your confidence will come back in time. Though I bet you'll be double-checking all your knots, buckles, and ropes from now on. As long as your conscious and responsible, climbing is a relatively safe sport.

Good luck man, and hope to hear about you dyno'ing some 12C's soon.

[Dion]

If the fears have no subsided go talk to someone at the university mental health dept. They are trained to deal with such matters.

Keep us posted.

[chid]

Definitely agree with Sainters on this.. a breather is good but the longer you wait the harder it is to recover and get back out there. I had a nasty go-kart crash when I was younger, split some teeth and to this day I will not go on one, I know it seems silly but Ive literally psyched myself out of going because I've transformed the activity into a taboo.. I know its something fun and not really dangerous, but I've let the crash just overrule all logic.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by Sainters7

One thing I'll say is that if you really enjoy climbing and want to continue, after taking a breather for a bit(obviously), I'd suggest getting out there somewhat soon afterwards. It was definitely a traumatic event, and the longer you wait to get back out there, the less likely you ever will(kinda like the surfer who almost drowns, and afterwards never wants to go out again because of it).

Originally Posted by A_3

Jeez man, that's a terrifying mistake. At first I thought you meant that after you tied into your anchor that you didn't loop back on your figure-eight, and I was going to call you the luckiest man alive.

I climb a lot as well, and I'll often have OCD moments mid-climb where I have to check all my gear to make sure I'm cool. But I figure better safe than dead.

This sort of thing does happen though. If you do a little wikipedia'ing you can read about all sorts of world renown climbers putting themselves in threatening situations by sketching on their equipment.

I'm sure your confidence will come back in time. Though I bet you'll be double-checking all your knots, buckles, and ropes from now on. As long as your conscious and responsible, climbing is a relatively safe sport.

Good luck man, and hope to hear about you dyno'ing some 12C's soon.

Yeah I'll definately be going climbing again, but I probably won't be making that mistake again. Especially if I do a dyno.

After fixing my equipment, I did evetually repel down and I did do a few climbs after, but I was able to put it into the back of my mind until later. I guess later has come and thats what sort of bothers me. Right now, I'm feeling pretty lucky to be alive thats for sure.

Going through some pics, here's the oh moment, before I realized my buckle wasn't double-backed.





(ok photobucket might be not be working)

[Azure]

Yeah, biggest thing is getting up the nerve to climb again.

Or whatever scares you.

[transplant99]

About 30 years ago I fell down an elevator shaft (one of those old platform ones where you yank thecable to get it moving)....somehow scrambled my way out of the bottom as it LOOKED like the elevator was coming back down on me.

I had only a sprained ankle and some serious bruises, but for a week after i was a puddle of goo. Terrified to do much of anything...but like everything else, time heals all.

[Dion]

How are you feeling today Phanuthier?

[metal_geek]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by chid

Definitely agree with Sainters on this.. a breather is good but the longer you wait the harder it is to recover and get back out there. I had a nasty go-kart crash when I was younger, split some teeth and to this day I will not go on one, I know it seems silly but Ive literally psyched myself out of going because I've transformed the activity into a taboo.. I know its something fun and not really dangerous, but I've let the crash just overrule all logic.

LOL.. I got run over by a go cart at my buddies 8th? birthday.. My cart died and the attendant dude told me to get out and stand by the side while he farted around starting it.. Birthday boy came around the corner, skidded, and took me out at the ankles. Road rashed pretty bad for my troubles.

[4X4]

We had a trampoline when I was growing up, and I was a psycho on the thing. I'd jump out my parents' window and off their balcony when they weren't home, back flips, double front flips... If it was scary, I wanted to try it.
One day I botched a back flip and hurt myself. It was certainly not the worst injury I'd ever incurred, but it kept me from doing back flips for a week, which turned into a month, which turned into forever. The further removed I got from it, the more scared I got to try it again.

Come to think of it, the last time I ever jumped off the balcony was the time I bounced funny and landed on the handrail for the patio below... Hmmm...

[nickerjones]

I was ejected from an automobile in a car crash that killed my first wife.. the lady who hit us t-boned us coming off a side road ( middle of the day)...... I still get a lil anxious when i see a car approaching in the my peripheal (sp.) vision....

[Torture]

I almost got in an accident the other day. I was turning left and a car was coming up to the intersection, he had his signal light on so I assumed he was turning, which would mean I'd have plenty of time to go...wrong. The guy must have not realized it was on or something...I realized at the last second before I got into the intersection but damn, that was a close call.

[peter12]

I get regular panic attacks after an exposure to HIV through a needle puncture a couple years ago. The needle was sitting in one of those Dose boxes at C-train stations. Somebody had left a used needle in one, I stuck my hand in to grab the paper and got pricked. I was fine, tests out to 6 months were negative, but it impacted me psychologically in a really brutal way. Even someone just mentioning the word 'HIV' can have me break out in a brutal hot sweat and can change my emotions from normal to extremely agitated almost instantly.

The brain is a freaking weird organ.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by Dion

How are you feeling today Phanuthier?

Definitely feeling a little more logical and seeing this with a little more prospective. I've already started planning my next outdoor climbing trip, this time a multi-pitch climb (i.e. a number of consecutive climbs to reach summit) in 2 weeks. So I guess if I suddenly stop posting in the next month, and you hear of some Canadian guy that died climbing in California, that would be me.

transplant - how far did you fall?