How late is too late?

[Eastern Girl]

This week, my friend asked me to have dinner with him, so we named a time and place. I showed up a few minutes early, he showed up about an hour late, with no phone call/email/text to give me an explanation prior to his showing up.

Today, I am waiting for my brother to show up. He asked me to babysit my nephews today, I said yes. He said he would drop them off at 11am. It's 12:30pm now. His cell is turned off, so I can't get ahold of him.

I am type that will usually make sure I get somewhere 5-10 minutes early. I don't like being kept waiting, so I make sure I don't keep others waiting.

My question to everyone here is how long do people wait before you declare they aren't showing up, and you decide to stop waiting? Half hour? One hour, two, more?

[habernac]

I hate people who don't show up when they say they will. If you say 12, I expect you to be at least within a few minutes of that. and if not, call with a reason. Especially when you're doing a favour for them.

Teach them a lesson. Just leave next time and tell them "I was there, waitied for half an hour and left, where the hell were you?"

[ricoFlame]

depends on the situation. waiting for your friend the other night is total BS, 1/2 hour tops. when it comes to family, I typically wait longer because they are family. when it's family you can always use my wife's favourite thing and guilt them for weeks afterword. good stuff.

[OilersBaby]

Im the same was as you. I am usually 5-10 minutes early if I have to meet someone because I always think "what if there's traffic" or "what if the line is long to get in" or something like that. I usually give people 15 minutes if I am supposed to meet them somewhere outside my house before I start getting annoyed. If they are late to come to my house, I am a little more lenient because I can always do something to kill time. I guess I would say I would give them half an hour in that case....

At that point I call or text....and if they are more than 30 mins late and I haven't heard from them in anyway, then I leave if Im supposed to meet them somewhere outside my house. If they are supposed to be coming over and they are more than half an hour, well I guess it depends on the circumstances (what I have to do or what it's about, or how late they are). But I would definitely talk to them about it.

People have to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them...

Although, I'm East Indian and there's this thing called IST (Indian Standard Time) so with some of my friends, I know that if I tell them to meet me at 7 pm for dinner, they wont show until 730 so neither do I

[Prototype]

Eastern Girl + A thread about lateness... I was thinking something completely different.

[Table 5]

There are very few things that i find more disrespectful than showing up late without any sort of notice. Time is very precious these days, and if there is an agreed upon time to do something where it affects one of the parties directly, it's simply unexcusable to be late. People don't realize they are wasting your day.

Being late once in a while is fine, but I find it is always the same people that do it over and over. It always depends on what it is (ie, nobody really cares if someones shows up a little late to say a party), but my limit is 15 minutes. After that I leave or do my own thing, and I make sure to not even notify the other person. If you don't have the courtesy to notify me, right back at ya.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by habernac

Teach them a lesson. Just leave next time and tell them "I was there, waitied for half an hour and left, where the hell were you?"

Don't even tell them, just let them wait around and wonder. After a while they will get the message.

[Claeren]

I am always late for things, but always 1min-10min late, not hours.

If I am going to be more than 3min late I send a text (or call) and if I am more than 5min late I am super super apologetic.

I would never expect someone to wait more than 10min for me and I would never wait more than 20min for someone else if I had not heard from them.

That is the key though to me. If someone cant bother to let you know they will be (or are) late you do NOT have to wait. IF they can't be bothered to carry an operating cell phone they are also obliged to not be late for things and make people wait.


Family gets some leeway but I would not feel guilty if I had to go out interim to them arriving and it inconvenienced them. I wouldn't go out of my way to do so though either.



Waiting an HOUR+(!) for someone without any notice would be enough to end a friendship IMO. A one time thing with a valid excuse and/or a massive and meaningful apology would be an exception of course.... the first time.




As an aside to that, there are two types of people in the world -- those who tend to be early (if only a minute) and those who tend to be late (if only a minute). I find there are a host of other characteristics that go along with either type of person and I don't think you can get toooo hung up on someone always being a bit late because I am sure that (1) there are other parts of their personalty that you likely need in your very ordered life and/or (2) I am sure there are drawbacks to your personality that are caused by the same characteristics that allow you to be early/on time for things.




Claeren.

[Jayems]

Originally Posted by Prototype

Eastern Girl + A thread about lateness... I was thinking something completely different.

I was thinking the exact same thing...

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by ricoFlame

depends on the situation. waiting for your friend the other night is total BS, 1/2 hour tops. when it comes to family, I typically wait longer because they are family. when it's family you can always use my wife's favourite thing and guilt them for weeks afterword. good stuff.

I didn't technically wait an hour for my friend. I was seated at a restaurant, I waited about half an hour before just ordering dinner for myself. Any other situation, I would have left, but I was starving. He showed up pretty much right when my food did.

And he was just late. There wasn't a good reason. It was not a fun dinner to sit through.

I am get annoyed at 15mins, half an hour and I am like the wind.

Originally Posted by Prototype

Eastern Girl + A thread about lateness... I was thinking something completely different.

Ugh, if that were the situation, I would be chasing vodka with cyanide, not starting threads!!

[Jayems]

Yep, i hate tardy people. Everyone has those friends that no matter what, under perfect circumstances, they still can not seem to show up on time. Finally, you're forced to invite them an hour or so early, but they still show up later than when you do.

[PowerPlayoffs06]

I'm always early, but I have tolerance levels for lateness. 5-10 minutes late I wont even mention. 10-15 minutes I'll razz the person about it. 15-25 minutes I'll be annoyed. 25+ minutes and I'm gone unless they've texted or phoned for their one free counter restart.

[FanIn80]

Originally Posted by Prototype

Eastern Girl + A thread about lateness... I was thinking something completely different.

Haha, ditto.

[sadora]

I'm usually the one showing up late, for whatever reason. I do always call however, to make sure the other party finds something to do in the meantime. Sometimes there's just other priorities.

[Kidder]

It's never too late for Caltrate.

[Sidney Crosby's Hat]

Originally Posted by Claeren

I am always late for things, but always 1min-10min late, not hours.

If I am going to be more than 3min late I send a text (or call) and if I am more than 5min late I am super super apologetic.

I would never expect someone to wait more than 10min for me and I would never wait more than 20min for someone else if I had not heard from them.

As an aside to that, there are two types of people in the world -- those who tend to be early (if only a minute) and those who tend to be late (if only a minute). I find there are a host of other characteristics that go along with either type of person and I don't think you can get toooo hung up on someone always being a bit late because I am sure that (1) there are other parts of their personalty that you likely need in your very ordered life and/or (2) I am sure there are drawbacks to your personality that are caused by the same characteristics that allow you to be early/on time for things.

Claeren.

I'm the exact same way. Not too sure what it is and why I usually can't be on time.

I'm rarely ever later than 10 minutes. It's odd, when I leave 10 minutes earlier than usual, traffic is slower or something else happens to ensure I get there at 10:02 a.m. when I'm supposed to be there at 10.

[Coach]

I'm like Claeran. I'm usually the guy whos about 5-10 min late for things. Either that or I'm early, but hardly ever right on time. I'd say 1/2 hour - 45 min is the longest i would wait around for someone before i got ticked and left. It depends on the person, but not calling is just rude. My older brother frequently says he's going to be somewhere and ends up never showing. He has lost a lot of his friends this way and his best friend actually hangs out with me more than he does with him.

I alos hate it when someone does this and say "Well I just didn't have time". Well that's fine, if you can't make it, cool. But let me know so Im not stuck here like a jackass all night

I think the reason people like Claeren, SCH and myself show up at these times is because we consider anytime within 5 min of the alotted time to be that time. For example, if I look at the clock and its 10:05 and someone asks me the time I say its 10

[Got Miikka?]

While I personally strive for timeliness and punctuality and most definitely do respect and appreciate - indeed, almost demand - the same quality in others, there are a few exceptions. For example, one of my buddies who I've known for years is so routinely late, it is an expectation that when a time is set for meeting or renedvouzing or whatever, there is no chance in hell that he will be there at that time - he's always about 30 minutes late. So, collectively, those of us who are friends with him and have noted this phenomenon have coined what we call "[his name] Time." Basically, this standard denotes that for any appointment involving this guy, an extra half hour must be added to the originally-set meeting time to accomodate for his perennial tardiness. It helps a lot: if, for example, I am making plans to have the guy meet me at my place, I always subtract a half hour from the actual meeting time so that in the end, he will actually be on time.

If I want him to be there for 5pm, I tell him 4:30. He'll be there around 5. Works out pretty frickin' close every time.

/anecdote

[JiriHrdina]

I hate being late but find myself being late more now than before - part of it is I seem to always under-estimate traffic in this town. That being said, I'm never more than 15 minutes late and even if I'm going to be more than 5 minutes late I fire off a quick phone call or text.

Over 30 minutes and it's quite rude.

[Slava]

I hate being late, and will make every attempt to be exactly on time (showing up early can be just as bad as being late IMO). I call if I will be late, if I can, for sure. Its rude not to.

I have had people show up late to meet me and I call them if they are not there. I have one client who was horrendous for showing up 1/2 late for appointments. We were to meet in a public place and I purposefully did not phone him. I left, he showed up very late...problem solved. He NEVER pulls this with me anymore, and I no longer have to babysit him.

There are times when things are unavoidable though....so I try my best to be on time, and understand when someone else is not!