08-19-2008, 02:26 PM
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#1
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Director of the HFBI
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Calgary
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The "How To" Guid everyone needs
Going back to the thread about how many 6 year olds you could take in a fight. Well, now there is a how-to guide for all your children fighting needs.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/08/...enty-children/
Could a mod please change the title from guid to guide. Thanks.
__________________
"Opinions are like demo tapes, and I don't want to hear yours" -- Stephen Colbert
Last edited by arsenal; 08-19-2008 at 02:59 PM.
Reason: request to appease the spelling Gods.
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08-19-2008, 02:28 PM
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#2
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Franchise Player
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You should get a "How To" guide on how to spell "Guide"
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08-19-2008, 02:37 PM
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#3
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The new goggles also do nothing.
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Calgary
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This is awesome.
__________________
Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position.
But certainty is an absurd one.
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08-19-2008, 02:37 PM
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#4
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Clinching Party
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I recently watched a video of my 4-year-old nephew breaking a board with his foot during tae-kwon-do testing. It really made me re-evaluate my opinion on this matter.
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08-19-2008, 02:43 PM
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#6
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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Amazing!
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08-19-2008, 02:47 PM
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#7
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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Awesome. I like this one the best:
Quote:
When taunting, remember that children are almost comically stupid, and won’t understand any of your more creative taunts. You won’t intimidate anyone if you have to explain three times specifically what you did to their mother last night.
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__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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08-19-2008, 03:35 PM
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#8
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Franchise Player
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I could have sworn we had a thread on here some time ago where we discussed how many 5 year olds (can't remember the exact age) we could take at once. For the life of me I've been unable to find it.
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08-19-2008, 03:36 PM
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#9
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke
Awesome. I like this one the best:
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That could apply to discussions with Oiler fans too.
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08-19-2008, 03:44 PM
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#10
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: not lurking
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Perhaps I was simply inspired by the location, but I found that a Zangief-style spinning lariat worked well when I was assaulted by a dozen gypsy kids in St. Petersberg. That and the 'going for the leader' strategy. Actually, there's a secondary psychological advantage to going for the leader: if you have any reservations about fighting back against some of the more pathetic looking kids, start with the tallest, and you'll quickly lose your inhibitions about delivering a below-the-belt shot to a boy who's belt is parrellel with your knee.
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08-19-2008, 03:52 PM
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#11
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Clinching Party
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Quote:
Originally Posted by octothorp
Perhaps I was simply inspired by the location, but I found that a Zangief-style spinning lariat worked well when I was assaulted by a dozen gypsy kids in St. Petersberg. That and the 'going for the leader' strategy. Actually, there's a secondary psychological advantage to going for the leader: if you have any reservations about fighting back against some of the more pathetic looking kids, start with the tallest, and you'll quickly lose your inhibitions about delivering a below-the-belt shot to a boy who's belt is parrellel with your knee.
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Wow, that sounds like a hell of a story. How did it turn out?
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08-19-2008, 03:57 PM
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#12
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It's not easy being green!
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: In the tubes to Vancouver Island
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That guid was totally awesome! I'm definitely going to use it against the next group of children I eff up.
__________________
Who is in charge of this product and why haven't they been fired yet?
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08-19-2008, 04:09 PM
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#13
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not sure
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke
Awesome. I like this one the best:
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Quote:
When taunting, remember that children are almost comically stupid, and won’t understand any of your more creative taunts. You won’t intimidate anyone if you have to explain three times specifically what you did to their mother last night.
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Oh man, I still have tears in my eyes
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08-19-2008, 04:18 PM
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#14
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: not lurking
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos
Wow, that sounds like a hell of a story. How did it turn out?
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Unfortunately my mobility was very limited as I was just coming from the train station and was wearing a backpack while carrying another bag. Spinning around swinging my arms was pretty much the only thing I could do. But I got some good blows in, bloodied a few noses, bruised some shins.
The only thing they got from me was a case that my prescription glasses were in. They got a half block, realized that the glasses would be more or less worthless to them, and just left them on the sidewalk.
I was relating it to a Russian later, and she explained to me that the Romas would do anything they could to take anything of value from you, but they weren't spiteful; the glasses had no value, so they left them, even though they could have caused me severe inconvenience by keeping them or chucking them into the canal. Especially after everything else that happened to me on the trip (see the stranded-on-the-trans-siberian story somewhere in the forum archives).
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08-19-2008, 04:19 PM
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#15
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Memento Mori
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514308E6-ECD1-41a7-A20A-7CA021A71436
__________________
If you don't pass this sig to ten of your friends, you will become an Oilers fan.
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08-19-2008, 04:28 PM
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#16
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aka Spike
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The Darkest Corners of My Mind
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazam
514308E6-ECD1-41a7-A20A-7CA021A71436
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Huh?
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08-19-2008, 04:37 PM
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#17
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Director of the HFBI
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CMPunk
Huh? 
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That's a GUID (global unique identifier).
__________________
"Opinions are like demo tapes, and I don't want to hear yours" -- Stephen Colbert
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08-19-2008, 04:50 PM
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#18
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aka Spike
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The Darkest Corners of My Mind
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fotze
Google is your friend.
hahaha made you google it, idiot!
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Google is as clueless as me
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08-19-2008, 05:15 PM
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#19
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aka Spike
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The Darkest Corners of My Mind
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fotze
Then you can check the blank spot below my post. 
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Well played Sir...well played
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08-19-2008, 07:26 PM
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#20
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It's not easy being green!
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: In the tubes to Vancouver Island
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Quote:
Originally Posted by octothorp
Especially after everything else that happened to me on the trip (see the stranded-on-the-trans-siberian story somewhere in the forum archives).
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Haha! My favourite part of that story is the first response.. Something about finding the wallet and knowing it was yours because it had: # stamped on it..
__________________
Who is in charge of this product and why haven't they been fired yet?
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