You know someone hates you when...

[Tron_fdc]

Facebook is lavalife lite.

Now that I'm single all my former flames are sending me messages, wondering what I'm doing, bla bla bla. I used it to post pics and show my friends what I was up to, and never intended to pick up women.

It's evil.

[Muta]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

Facebook is lavalife lite.

Now that I'm single all my former flames are sending me messages, wondering what I'm doing, bla bla bla. I used it to post pics and show my friends what I was up to, and never intended to pick up women.

It's evil.

I never even bothered to put my relationship status up with my girlfriend. 9 months now (off and on), and I really don't see the point. I really don't care who knows that I'm in a relationship and with whom. If I was single, I'd probably put my status as single, but only if I were looking. Seriously, why would you put that unless you were?

[Tron_fdc]

Yeah man, I hid my status, and she freaked. It was like she needed me to announce to everyone that we were together when we were, and as soon as I hid it (didn't change it) it was like the entire world just came crumbling down.

I've taken to hiding pretty much EVERYTHING on my profile now. Pretty much just name and wall, no applications.

[The Fonz]

Originally Posted by J pold

A lot of people have this idea that if you totally eliminate contact with the other person it will somehow help you get over them

I can totally understand blocking an ex on facebook though. Like tron said, facebook is basically like lavalife. I wouldn't like to see guys writing all their cutesy/charming messages on my ex's wall, asking her if she'd like to hang out later or go to a party, then talking about how wild and crazy the other night was.

If I broke up with my girlfriend I'd definately erase her from my friends list.

[JayP]

Originally Posted by Claeren

I imagine she just 'removed you', but did not go so far as 'blocking you'.

A lot of people, especially women, have high privacy settings on Facebook. And under pressure a while back Facebook increased the privacy options available to users. So a lot of people (knowingly, but often not) have it set that NO ONE can see them and that even when searched they do not have an index card style search listing. (Whereas before people would have their profile blocked but you could still see their index card thing).

It has happened to me a few times where people tell me to add them to my facebook and I can't find them, so i have to wait until the next time i run into them to explain. Usually they had no idea their privacy setting was that high.

Wouldn't this not make a difference seeing as they were friends already?

[The Goon]

Originally Posted by troutman

Have you ever:

1) Looked up old flames on Facebook (people you saw 10+ years ago)?

2) Invited them to be friends?

3) Explain to your current partner who these people are?

I've only gone as far as #1.

I did #1, then blocked them right off the bat, so they would never see me on Facebook. Bringing past dramas into the present is just a bad idea.

My fiancee once asked me if I've ever slept with any of the women on my friend list, and I could honestly say "Nope."

I think most of the excitement about Facebook has tailed off a bit. I mainly use it now to keep in touch with various cousins around the world.

[Ozy_Flame]

Well, I can't even find her when I look her up, which means she blocked me because all my past message with here are still there.

The lunch went fine last week, nothing to it. A little distant, but nothing out of the ordinary for a post-breakup lunch.

Anyways, it's not like it was a long relationship; a couple of months at best. This is why I'm not getting hung up over it, I'm just perplexed as to why I was removed. I suppose it's still bothering her, I guess.

Oh well, single and happy again!

[Muta]

Originally Posted by The Fonz

I can totally understand blocking an ex on facebook though. Like tron said, facebook is basically like lavalife. I wouldn't like to see guys writing all their cutesy/charming messages on my ex's wall, asking her if she'd like to hang out later or go to a party, then talking about how wild and crazy the other night was.

If I broke up with my girlfriend I'd definately erase her from my friends list.

This is true, too... when I wasn't with my current girlfriend (on a break), there were guys writing subtle, flirty messages on her board and saying certain things that would completely take the piss out of me, but I learned to ignore it and realize that it is what it is, and it ain't gonna stop.

Guys can read other guys incredibly well, and are very conscious of the moves they try to make. It's too bad some guys, though, don't realize this.

[Russic]

Massive fan of cutting off all communication after a break-up. I've tried to go the way of being friends after an intimate relationship but I found it to be a huge annoyance. The last few girls I dated (before getting married) I dropped like a telemarketer and I can't tell you awesome it was. Perhaps your ex shares my views.

[The Goon]

[J pold]

Originally Posted by The Fonz

I can totally understand blocking an ex on facebook though. Like tron said, facebook is basically like lavalife. I wouldn't like to see guys writing all their cutesy/charming messages on my ex's wall, asking her if she'd like to hang out later or go to a party, then talking about how wild and crazy the other night was.

If I broke up with my girlfriend I'd definately erase her from my friends list.

Meh I guess the thinking is that if you where over her it wouldn’t bother you that people would write on her wall

I still have all my ex’s on facebook, I recall coming home night and seeing pictures of my ex with her new BF…sure it hurt for a bit but it was a big part of the getting over her process, the reality is people move on facebook or not you can’t hide from it and if your ex and you share the same group of friends you bound to find out anyway

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

Facebook is lavalife lite.

Now that I'm single all my former flames are sending me messages, wondering what I'm doing, bla bla bla. I used it to post pics and show my friends what I was up to, and never intended to pick up women.

It's evil.

You're single now? How you doin...

[Claeren]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

Well, I can't even find her when I look her up, which means she blocked me because all my past message with here are still there.

No, that is a poor conclusion.

It is more likely the removed you and has her privacy ratings set so she can not be searched (far more common now than 6 months+ ago).

IIRC, I believe if you were actually blocked it would also remove all the wall posts between the two of you.


Claeren.

[Ozy_Flame]

No, if they block you, you can still see their posts. I've seen this happen before. I can't search her name, but the posts on my wall and messages in my inbox still exist.

[Claeren]

Okay, but that still means it is equally possible she blocked you as it is she removed you and has higher privacy settings. There is nothing you have said that makes it more likely she did one over the other yet you have concluded conclusively ("I can't even find her when I look her up, which means she blocked me") that she blocked you? It is possible but not conclusive.

Not that it matters much either way...

[TheyCallMeBruce]

What in the hell is this...Face-Book?

lol, I wish I still didn't know what that was. Seems like everyone has an account these days.

I usually just leave my ex's on it...I don't think I use it very much anymore. Plus a lot of ppl's updates are boring and "who the hell cares."

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by J pold

A lot of people have this idea that if you totally eliminate contact with the other person it will somehow help you get over them

Personally I think this approach is pretty flawed and rarely works, what usually ends up happening is that you get drunk and a bit over emotional end up drunk dialing the person you swore to never talk too again and just make things about 100 times more awkward than they already are

...........


Been guilty of this a few times...

[Ozy_Flame]

Well just to verify if it was a block or a privacy setting, my friend logged in and searched her name (who isn't friends with her), and found her profile. Therefore, I'm almost certain it was a block.

Either way, I don't really care. I'm going to watch Euro 2008 this afternoon, and that's something I couldn't do on a nice Saturday if I was still dating her.

[BlackArcher101]

At least you know who removed you. Gotta love it when your friends list shrinks, but you can't figure out who left it. Haha, guess they weren't important anyways.

[Got Miikka?]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

Well just to verify if it was a block or a privacy setting, my friend logged in and searched her name (who isn't friends with her), and found her profile. Therefore, I'm almost certain it was a block

Are you sure she didn't just 'deactivate' it, and not actually delete the account? I am pretty sure this is an option - and for proof, my younger brother just did this to his account recently and everything is the way you described in your original post: his pic is a ?, I can still see inbox messages and wall posts, etc. In fact, he has de/reactivated the account a few times. Several people I know have done this. I see my friend count go down and then back up, and it will be someone who hasn't entirely deleted their account basically turning it on and off. They don't have to re-add you or anything.

The only thing that makes me think differently is the post I have quoted - if other friends can search her and she shows up, then, yeah, maybe she's blocked you.