Did I really just say that?

[Misterpants]

Great thread!

Mine leans toward "foot in the mouth territory"...

I was buying some new dress pants and had to get them hemmed. Luckily they had their own seamstress so the gal who was helping me was measuring up one of the legs. So she says to me "Are both your legs the same length?" I guess she was seeing if she could just double the measurement over to the other pant leg.

My response was "I think so, I don't walk in circles". I thought this was pretty funny and felt it was odd when she didn't laugh.

That is when she stood up to head to the counter and I noticed her orthopedic footwear and noticeable limp.

Man I felt like crap...

[Homer_J]

We were playing a slo-pitch near the airport. While we were in the field a large Hercules plane was taking off. My buddy yells from the outfield "Look at that big tub of s*&T!". He didn't realize that the largest girl from the other team had just walked up to the plate.... she definitely heard him.

[Homer_J]

One more...

I was out with some friends for coffee. I was visiting with this girl who I had met only once before. She said something along the lines of "I like you. You laugh at my jokes." Now what I meant to say was that 'I like to laugh', but what came out was "I'm easily amused."

It took me a minute to realize what I had said, but by the time I caught on, it was way to awkward to say anything. I felt like such a ######.

[Table 5]

i have a tendency to go into Subway and ask for a 12 foot sub.

[red sky]

I forgot about this story. My buddies and I joined a family to play a friendly game of beach vollyball. There was a mother and father and their two daughters, both pretty young. Quite surprisingly, this family was pretty damn good at vollyball. At one point one of the daughters went to spike the ball and I went up and blocked it right back at her. I was joking around and asked how old she was, she said 13. I said "I can't wait to get back home and tell everyone I stuffed a 13 year old". Oops! I did not mean for that to come out as it did... needless to say I just turned around and felt the dad's glare burning a hole in the back of my head.

[LChoy]

My hobby is "reading" people, personality profiling. Anyways, a friend of mine told her really attractive friend about me and my skill and she asked me to read her. What I was trying to say was that she is really attractive, and most people seem to notice that only, but she is also really smart with her two degrees and high honours. What came out unfortunately was "Well, you are smarter than you look"

As soon as it came out, I couldn't take it back. To this day, she thinks I think of her as some kind of bimbo

[GrrlGoalie33]

My brother and his friend had the friends wife totally convinced that HAWKS is a check-stop for planes!

[Table 5]

speaking of stupid, i once convinced my friend (who often took his parents car without their permission) that you had to be 18 to buy gas, and that I would do it for him, but that i had to get a little cash, because it was illegal to buy it for a minor so i was taking a risk.

probably made about 20 bucks that week.

[albertGQ]

I had a friend that didn't know the locals in Mexico spoke Spanish. He actually thought Mexican was a language. Lol

[albertGQ]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Once in a while, when calling someone, I will greet them as if I was answering their call. It usually throws someone off. I do this to my daughter quite a bit.

For example...I'll call her and as soon as she picks up I'll say "Bob's Pizza!". She gets confused...or at least she used to.

I used to do that but the other way around. I'll have a buddy call me (we'll say Nathan). And I'll answer it "Is Nathan there?". He'll be like "huh? Didn't I call you?
"No, I called you"
"For real? I swear I called you"
"No dude. I called you. What's up?"
"Yo! I think we called each other at the exact same time!!!"
"Yeah. We must've"

[The Yen Man]

Originally Posted by red sky

I forgot about this story. My buddies and I joined a family to play a friendly game of beach vollyball. There was a mother and father and their two daughters, both pretty young. Quite surprisingly, this family was pretty damn good at vollyball. At one point one of the daughters went to spike the ball and I went up and blocked it right back at her. I was joking around and asked how old she was, she said 13. I said "I can't wait to get back home and tell everyone I stuffed a 13 year old". Oops! I did not mean for that to come out as it did... needless to say I just turned around and felt the dad's glare burning a hole in the back of my head.

Hilarious!

[Flamesguy_SJ]

I was in high school biology class one time, and one of my classmates was reading from the textbook about the digestive system. Everytime he came across the term "roughage", he pronounced it "roo-gaj"...the whole class (including the teacher) was in stitches by the time he finished reading.

My personal story is very foot-in-mouth. At the time, I was dating a girl who had a twin, and a lot of people were easily confused as to which one was which. I obviously found it easy, and said that when I had first met them, my girlfriend at the time had bangs (hairstyle), while her sister didn't. So, I was offering one of their teachers advice on how to tell them apart, and instead of saying "Just remember this: Nancy -- bangs -- <my real name>", I said "Just remember, Nancy bangs <real name>. Been a long time living that one down...

[BuzzardsWife]

Originally Posted by Table 5

speaking of stupid, i once convinced my friend (who often took his parents car without their permission) that you had to be 18 to buy gas, and that I would do it for him, but that i had to get a little cash, because it was illegal to buy it for a minor so i was taking a risk.

probably made about 20 bucks that week.

who needs enemies when u have friends like you?

[FlamesKickAss]

i was talking with my buddies about the hockey or something and the penguins were brought up by me but i said pittpurgh penguin, to this day my friends do let it go.

i have others i'm suree but cant remember.

i do the "you too" a lot and hear it a lot.

[Berger_4_]

We've got a couple of real ditzes in my class (really I don't know how they can function) and they've said some dumb stuff over the past three years.

The one time, one of them was reading a portion of Hamlet aloud to the class, and every time the name Laertes came up she'd say Laser-tees. And every time she did it, I'd make a nice little laser sound. Had the teacher in tears after that one.

Ditz number two is probably as ditzy, if not more. She has managed to mispronounce so many words, it's quite ridiculous. Some that spring to mind...coupla becomes coop-la, acres becomes ack-rahs (those were said back to back, adding to the hilarity) and nobles was noh-buhls. The best part is that she has no idea she's mispronouncing the words, so we all just get to laugh and carry on about it. Same with Lazer-tees haha.

[Hack&Lube]

Originally Posted by Misterpants

Great thread!

Mine leans toward "foot in the mouth territory"...

I was buying some new dress pants and had to get them hemmed. Luckily they had their own seamstress so the gal who was helping me was measuring up one of the legs. So she says to me "Are both your legs the same length?" I guess she was seeing if she could just double the measurement over to the other pant leg.

My response was "I think so, I don't walk in circles". I thought this was pretty funny and felt it was odd when she didn't laugh.

That is when she stood up to head to the counter and I noticed her orthopedic footwear and noticeable limp.

Man I felt like crap...

Reading the beginning of this, I thought you were going to mention a 3rd leg of different length

[BuzzardsWife]

When my son was in grade 5 the teacher was reading a story to the class..at the end of one sentence she read that the person said 'ciao' to his friend as he left..but she said it like' kie-ay-oh'..so my 10 year old son corrected her and she argued with him!!

[kermitology]

Originally Posted by Flamesguy_SJ

"Just remember this: Nancy -- bangs -- <my real name>", I said "Just remember, Nancy bangs <real name>. Been a long time living that one down...

No.. the pauses don't fix that..

[habernac]

Originally Posted by kermitology

Not me, but my ex-girlfriend saw a headline in the paper about Peruvian Riots..

This international relations major then asked me and a friend.. "Where's Peruvia?"

Boy did I get in trouble for laughing my ass off at that one.

hahahaha!

On a business trip once, we were landing in Chicago. My normally intelligent colleague asked me what ocean we were flying over.

[Rhetts_the_Best]

Originally Posted by Homer_J

We were playing a slo-pitch near the airport. While we were in the field a large Hercules plane was taking off. My buddy yells from the outfield "Look at that big tub of s*&T!". He didn't realize that the largest girl from the other team had just walked up to the plate.... she definitely heard him.