Managment advice?

[annasuave]

I need some suggestions coaching/dealing with a demanding person on my staff. Her personality style is abrupt, bossy, and she's a "barger". By no means is she a bad person! Just young, inexperienced, and abrasive is all.

She was in my office this morning complaining. I'll tolerate that to a degree, because if there's something that needs fixing, or needs my attention - I do need to know about it.

Her complaining has a personal tone "you need to do this", and "I've been waiting a long time for an answer on this" sort of thing. She does have a point, too. She has been waiting a long time. And there are promises I've made to her I need to follow through on. She didn't use any innapropriate language, or cross any obvious lines in terms of business behaviour. But she bugs living crap outta me.

A large part of me wanted to tell her to shut up, quit complaining, and remind her who she was talking to. But really, I don't want to crush this young lady's spirit, or play the big heavy.

I can't ignore her complaints - they are genuine and they do deserve attention.

How can I respond to this person in a way that lets her know I care about her concerns, without re-inforcing the idea that aggressive complaining is the way to get results?

It's the personal, demanding tone I object to - not the actual complaint. How on earth do I get that point across without being Queen Bitch and demanding that all peons kneel in my presence?

[HelloHockeyFans]

"She does have a point, too. She has been waiting a long time. And there are promises I've made to her I need to follow through on."

Not that this means that she is within reason to be acting the way she is, but perhaps if you had followed up on your obligations, she wouldn't be using the tone?

Again, I understand that being in your position, you have things flying at 100 MPH every minute of the day, but a simple update to her on your promises and their status or why they might be delayed might make her feel better and that she's not being ignored or unappreciated.

Again, she shouldn't be as aggressive as she appears to be, but communication between you and her might result in her behaviour disappearing.

[CaptainCrunch]

Honestly, coaching is not going to work at this time because you've fallen through on promises, and anything that you say is going to come across as hypocritical.

I guess, I need to understand what her role is, is she sales? Is she some kind of administrator? Is she just being unpleasant in this instance, or is it a every day occurance.

I think people don't have an understanding of personalities, we all want our office to be filled with nice understanding people, and we look at the bargers, or demanding people as bitchy or uncomprimising.

Believe me, inside of my nice guy exterior, lurks bossy, demanding and barger. Don't make a promise to me that you can't or won't keep. don't promise me priorities then not do it, I can be pleasant up to a point, but you ask my bosses and they'll say the same thing, that they hate the fact that I track every commitment that I make, and every commitment that they make to me, and I make sure that things are carried through on. Work is work, don't make promises that you can't or won't keep.

Your employee is frustrated.

Before you can coach her, you need to finish what your suppossed to be doing for her, or assign those tasks to someone that will. Then you need to apologize for not living up to your commitment.

Then you can coach her very nicely on her personality if she's causing disruption in the office.

I think there is a coaching opportunity on both sides her.

But I can understand why she's frustrated because she can't hit her deadlines or commitments, and its doubly frustrating because your her boss.

Sorry if this pisses you off, but when you post something like this on the board, 9/10 your going to get a pretty straight answer.

[BlackArcher101]

You sound like my managers. I wasn't like your employee to start with either, but after being promised things with deadlines and managers not living up to their obligations, it was hard not to act the way she is. Frustration from an employee is a result of you not doing your job, which is what it sounds like here (sorry to say, but you admit it). Get her problems resolved and she will be happy again (hopefully), but in the meantime she's probably tired of waiting. Watch out... if he/she starts feeling this way and starts to have the "what have I got to lose" attitude, it's only a couple more steps to quitting. Definitely not a good idea to tell her to shut up and remind her who she's speaking to. You may feel you aren't being respected here, but she is feeling the same way, which is what started this whole mess.

[Calgaryborn]

Tell her these things will be done and an answer will be given when you find a convenient time to deal with them and not a second before. Then give her a task to do immediately.

The next time after that, when she comes in to your office(before you acknowledge the reason she came in) ask her what she has been doing that day/ the past week. As she gives you a run down interrupt a few times to ask how long that particular task took. Then abruptly ask her what she wants.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Calgaryborn

Tell her these things will be done and an answer will be given when you find a convenient time to deal with them and not a second before. Then give her a task to do immediately.

The next time after that, when she comes in to your office(before you acknowledge the reason she came in) ask her what she has been doing that day/ the past week. As she gives you a run down interrupt a few times to ask how long that particular task took. Then abruptly ask her what she wants.

Wow, I would tell you to pound sand and walk out the door.

You want me to do a task for you immediately, yet its ok for you to take care of your commitments when its convienient.

Then you want to go nazi on everything that I do in a day and how long it took me to do it. Yet as a manager you promised me stuff a long time ago but its still not done.

One of the first things that I learned in terms of managing people is not to make demands if I'm not living up to the demands made of me.

Yes its tough being a boss, and things are flying at you at 100 miles an hour, but thats why your the boss. If I tell you that my part of a presentation is going to be done on Tuesday, either its done or you get help doing it.

Its ridiculous that people think that management is a free pass to get away with stuff that people within your department would never get away with under your watch.

As an edit wouldn't you look silly, if you demanded to know what she'd done all week, and how long it took, and she had gotten all of her tasks done, then she asked you the same question and why the hell your not done with what you promised the employee?

Because my next step would be going over your head to whoever manages you to see if I can get you some coaching.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by fotze

He didn;t say that would be a good idea. Its probably a typical idea. Unless you are in government, those managers will be exposed and shuffled off to "special projects".

I've seen way to many managers take that approach and then wonder why they can't retain employees and blame it on the the company, policies or members of his team.

[annasuave]

Absolutely no offense taken! The feedback has been valuaable. Like I said - she does have a point - I haven't been discharging my responsibilities to her in that regard. The blame for that sits squarely on my shoulders.

I just don't want to foster the idea that the best way to get something is to charge into my office making a big stink.

Although, you guys are right. I admit it. The best way to avoid this kind of drama in in the future would be to deliver on obligations in a timely manner!

[Gozer]

In the same vein, pleasantness is what you seem to be asking and you do deserve it.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by annasuave

Absolutely no offense taken! The feedback has been valuaable. Like I said - she does have a point - I haven't been discharging my responsibilities to her in that regard. The blame for that sits squarely on my shoulders.

I just don't want to foster the idea that the best way to get something is to charge into my office making a big stink.

Although, you guys are right. I admit it. The best way to avoid this kind of drama in in the future would be to deliver on obligations in a timely manner!

One of the hardest parts in managing people is balancing personalities.

If she's been waiting a long time for you to get her stuff done, and she's anything like me, she's gone beyond frustrated to pissed.

You can coach her on her entry tactics, but you've pretty well cornered yourself.

[BlackArcher101]

Originally Posted by Gozer

In the same vein, pleasantness is what you seem to be asking and you do deserve it.

Agreed... however, if I was the employee and pleasantness doesn't seem to get me anywhere, you can be assured I won't be so pleasant in the future.

[JiriHrdina]

As a manager - your word is crucial. Too many managers make promises and then don't deliver on them. Your employee needs to know when you say you are going to do something you do it.

So in this case, I'd suggest find a way to follow through on what was promised, and if its no longer possible - explain to him/her why.

[Locke]

Take her out back and introduce her to Vinny and 'Knuckles.'

Rule your office with the iron fist of a tyrant!!

[GrrlGoalie33]

My boss and I set up very clear expectations of each other early on in our working relationship (at her request). As a result, when one of us is not going to be able to complete work for the other on time, we have very clear communication both ways.

[Calgaryborn]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Wow, I would tell you to pound sand and walk out the door.

You want me to do a task for you immediately, yet its ok for you to take care of your commitments when its convienient.

As an edit wouldn't you look silly, if you demanded to know what she'd done all week, and how long it took, and she had gotten all of her tasks done, then she asked you the same question and why the hell your not done with what you promised the employee?

The problem isn't what the employee is saying. It is how she is saying it. She needs to learn an appropriate way to approach the boss.

If she comes in with the intent of pushing you around you better be prepared to push back. It is a bad precedence to set if you don't. If she refused to do the job relate task I give her then she needs to be fired.

As for reviewing her work week with her: I wouldn't look silly. My purpose in doing that would be to show her that as her boss she is accountable to me firstly and fore mostly. It wouldn't be asked in a accusatory fashion because I wouldn't expect that her performance was bad. The point is: I'm the boss and don't forget that when addressing me.

I wouldn't review her performance with her unless it was apparent that she was coming in with the same inappropriate attitude.

[Traditional_Ale]

The problem isn't what the employee is saying. It is how she is saying it. She needs to learn an appropriate way to approach the boss.

If she comes in with the intent of pushing you around you better be prepared to push back. It is a bad precedence to set if you don't. If she refused to do the job relate task I give her then she needs to be fired.

As for reviewing her work week with her: I wouldn't look silly. My purpose in doing that would be to show her that as her boss she is accountable to me firstly and fore mostly. It wouldn't be asked in a accusatory fashion because I wouldn't expect that her performance was bad. The point is: I'm the boss and don't forget that when addressing me.

I wouldn't review her performance with her unless it was apparent that she was coming in with the same inappropriate attitude.

I had such a good response but before I can give it, I need you to let me know when you've come down off your throne in the castle up on the mountain and decided to mingle with the commoners.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Calgaryborn

The problem isn't what the employee is saying. It is how she is saying it. She needs to learn an appropriate way to approach the boss.

Thats fine, but the key question, and I think I asked it in a different way is if this was her normal behavior. If it is, then yes coach her on her approach. If its a sympton of frustration with the manager and her lack of carry through then theres no coaching that you can do that won't look hypocritical.

Originally Posted by Calgaryborn

If she comes in with the intent of pushing you around you better be prepared to push back. It is a bad precedence to set if you don't. If she refused to do the job relate task I give her then she needs to be fired.

Then you'd better be prepared to explain her responses in the exit interview because if the managers lack of follow through or lack of commitment causes her to be unable to finish tasks that your canning her for, then you'd better have your boxes packed as well. In the example above how can the manager push back at all when the manager is not getting her work done?

And again, throwing taskings in her face, and questioning what she's doing when the manager isn't doing it is bad for moral.

Originally Posted by Calgaryborn

As for reviewing her work week with her: I wouldn't look silly. My purpose in doing that would be to show her that as her boss she is accountable to me firstly and fore mostly. It wouldn't be asked in a accusatory fashion because I wouldn't expect that her performance was bad. The point is: I'm the boss and don't forget that when addressing me.

If you want to be a boss, then you act like a boss, it isn't royal acent we're talking about here. A manager has to be able to do the job better then anyone else and to be able to train what is essentially a replacement. Like I said, if I had a manager who wasn't living up to commitments, but decided to show me whose boss by questioning my work habits when the managers work habits are preventing me from doing my job, I'd label that manager a bad boss, likely go over the managers head and not approach that manager for any assistance at all. I'm willing to bet that in this instance, that this employee isn't the only one thats being let down. She just might not be hearing it from the other employees.

Originally Posted by Calgaryborn

I wouldn't review her performance with her unless it was apparent that she was coming in with the same inappropriate attitude.

In my mind, and in this instance, the employees behavior is probably not inappropriate.

[Calgaryborn]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Thats fine, but the key question, and I think I asked it in a different way is if this was her normal behavior. If it is, then yes coach her on her approach. If its a sympton of frustration with the manager and her lack of carry through then theres no coaching that you can do that won't look hypocritical.

Agreed. I think we are visualising different employees here. I'm looking at an employee who is bullying her boss due primarily to personality traits. The promised actions/answers from her boss isn't immediately impeding her work. I've run into brass personalities like this and found them to be a cancer with fellow employees as well. They need to be dealt with.

You seem to be visualizing a good employee that can't do her job because her boss has failed to come through with the promised tools. I didn't see annasauve as so severely incompetent as a manager.

[CaramonLS]

Originally Posted by Calgaryborn

The problem isn't what the employee is saying. It is how she is saying it. She needs to learn an appropriate way to approach the boss.

If she comes in with the intent of pushing you around you better be prepared to push back. It is a bad precedence to set if you don't. If she refused to do the job relate task I give her then she needs to be fired.

As for reviewing her work week with her: I wouldn't look silly. My purpose in doing that would be to show her that as her boss she is accountable to me firstly and fore mostly. It wouldn't be asked in a accusatory fashion because I wouldn't expect that her performance was bad. The point is: I'm the boss and don't forget that when addressing me.

I wouldn't review her performance with her unless it was apparent that she was coming in with the same inappropriate attitude.

Have you ever managed people within the Alberta market? Or an even better question would be "Have you ever managed people within the last 10 years?"

You might be the boss, but if you don't smarten up and do your job, the employees have a right to call you out on it. You're the one who is supposed to be leading by example and if you can't handle a little criticism you are going to be losing employees.

People can cross the street and find another job with ease, especially right now in certain industries. With the younger generation in particular, they don't need to be locked into a poor situation anymore with a sh*tty boss - most of them don't have wives or kids/as many responsibilities like they did 20-30 years ago.

My advice to Anna is to fix what you screwed up on this time and make sure you use different verbage if you don't think you can follow through on certain deadlines you promised to said employee next time. Employees have to have faith in management and that they can do the job or you are going to lose them/their respect.

Kind of Ironic, but my current job was created in large part because of people like CB thinking that it is still 20 years ago.

[Calgaryborn]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

I had such a good response but before I can give it, I need you to let me know when you've come down off your throne in the castle up on the mountain and decided to mingle with the commoners.

Typical CPer! Welcomes the new overlords but no respect for the current ones.