Alberta women cross-border shopping for men

[Gozer]

Originally Posted by Dion

http://www.howtofindmrright.com/

You don't have a quiz that would cover this?

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by Cowboy89

Marketing firms stopped using customer comments as the sole basis of a marketing strategy a long time ago. Why? Because what someone holds up as their ideal want in public, isn't necessarily what they're most likely to buy. It's like Spice Girls music. Very few people admit to ever liking their music or buying their CDs, but yet they clearly sold millions of them.

So, you think women really do want a guy to treat them like garbage? I don't think so. I think when girls are younger, they mistake this kind of treatment/personality as just being a "bad boy" and girls do like the bad boys. Once they get older, they begin to know the difference.

[Eastern Girl]

Originally Posted by Dan02

I thought he comment was more a sweeping generalization of those men, who pretty much have nothing else to offer othe then moola.

I thought it was more about women, who are superficial enough to overlook perhaps a lack of looks or personality if the guy has money, but I can see your perspective.

[Gozer]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

So, you think women really do want a guy to treat them like garbage?

The bulk of the comments in the article/start of the thread revolve around the theme of "guys are too polite and gentlemanly for me to go anywhere with."

I'm sure that if I walk up to girls with a line stolen from my "best of Captain Crunch" collection, I get more tail than following the advice of my girl-friends.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Dion

It does happen.

A good friend of mine is living proof that it does happen. He didn't marry some "hot" gal. To some, personality, morals, values and interests are more important.

I'm much the same way. Looks are NOT the most important aspect. Personality, morals, values and interests are more important too me also.

Keep looking, you'll find the right guy soon enough.

That pretty much sums me up. I don't consider myself ridiculously attractive or anything but I know that a lot of people were shocked when I started dating my current girlfriend.

I found my biggest problem for picking up girls when I was single was that I was terrible at masking my contempt for the really unintelligent ones. That combined with alcohol consumption in a bar often landed me in the belligerence hall of fame.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Gozer

The bulk of the comments in the article/start of the thread revolve around the theme of "guys are too polite and gentlemanly for me to go anywhere with."

I'm sure that if I walk up to girls with a line stolen from my "best of Captain Crunch" collection, I get more tail than following the advice of my girl-friends.

I think you misinterpret the article. It said that they're to weak to even ask a woman out, and when they do, it's lame. Women want MEN. Not wussies. Not a-holes. But a man who is willing to actually be a man...

[Cowboy89]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

So, you think women really do want a guy to treat them like garbage? I don't think so. I think when girls are younger, they mistake this kind of treatment/personality as just being a "bad boy" and girls do like the bad boys. Once they get older, they begin to know the difference.

I think you're twisting my comments.

I just think that people in general have a tendancy to project either too idealistic an image, or one that fits best with societal or group norms, or a combination of both of those when asked around other people about what they want. To suggest that if you took every girl word for word and then compared it to the guys they are or have dated and expect a stringent level of consistancy would be very naive. The same can be said for guys.

[Daradon]

I would give more credit to the vacation theory than the fact that there's something wrong with men here.

I know when I'm on vacation it's super easy to meet new people (or pick up, or get picked up). It's just the mind set your in. You know you're going to have to meet new people. Plus just being in different surroundings FORCE you to meet new people. You have to ask for directions, ask for advice, stuff like that.

If they really wanted to look at differences in dating culture here it's probably unfair to single the men out entirely. The women play their part in the whole courtship dance too.

Maybe the women are harder to approach? Or less likely to return with a favorable response here?

[Ozy_Flame]

Originally Posted by Daradon

If they really wanted to look at differences in dating culture here it's probably unfair to single the men out entirely. The women play their part in the whole courtship dance too.

I vote we should start a petition to make fanning mandatory when a man wants to seduce a Calgarian woman. I'll even provide the rules to Victorian courtship:

http://www.averyl.com/attic/fans.htm

That way, nobody gets confused!!

[Gozer]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I think you misinterpret the article. It said that they're to weak to even ask a woman out, and when they do, it's lame. Women want MEN. Not wussies. Not a-holes. But a man who is willing to actually be a man...

I know what the article said what women said they wanted, but since do women actually know what they want.



It's much more "productive" for guys to err on the side of being an a-hole, which I blame on girls.

[Claeren]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

I have never....EVER...experienced a dating scene more awkward than that in Calgary.

I've heard numerous people complain that the single twenty-somethings in Calgary are high maintenance, stubborn, close-minded, and too concerned about their "careers" to begin anything meaningful. I tend to agree.

I think it's just Calgary's fast-pace, high-performance lifestyle.

I agree 100%.

I was in back-to-back long term relationships for the 10 years out of high school (and thus missed where there might have been a transition from pre-boom to boom?), but now that i am out dating i have zero problems meeting attractive women, but i have a ton of trouble meeting sincere women who do not have their priorities completely upside down - and yet simultaniously convinced they have them right side up.

"Princess" is a good start to the general description. Just that sense that they want everything without giving up anything - either on their end or that of their perspective mate.

I am talking about women ~23-28 though. Those younger are not yet corrupted in their outlook on life/men but at the same time are sooo young to have to deal with, and those into their early 30's tend to often have a much healthier perspective but often are carrying around the baggage of the experiences that led to their better perspective (prior marriages, kids, etc). So where does that leave a guy?


Add to that the fact the ratio in Alberta is heavily in favour of young women (far more young single men here than women) and it is no wonder guys tend to wait to pre-qualify the girls they talk to (meeting through work, sports, hobbies, friends, etc v. cold pick-up) instead of trying to pick them up at a bar (brutal) or other such place. Its not worth the effort to get shot down 4/5 times because the girl already has a bf to meet the 1/5 girl who is likely a spoiled princess anyways?!


I agree though that when i travel the girls are way better and more easy going. I remember 2 super hot danish sisters in particular who were like 24 and 26 and were shocked i asked where they worked back home because in their mind (1) who would care (they worked at lego land, haha) and (2) 'love' has nothing to do with money, status or career like it does seemingly in Calgary. But taking that a step further are girls new to the city - before they are totally corrupted by the money-first culture here. It is crazy to talk to a girl from Sask or Man right when they get here and then again 6-12 months later, they are two different people!

I have a friend who was a REALLY good mechanic/technician and by the time he was ~21-22 was making big money as a top tech and getting lured fom dealership to dealership because he was seen as top of his class. He was decently good looking and would talk to girls at the bar or houseparties etc and everything woul dbe going fine until they would ask what he did and he said he was a car technician! The conversation would instantly go cold. I mean GASP! How could THEY, a hot local Calgary girl, bring a blue collar guy to a friends house? Explain that to her snobby friends?

Now he is finishing his Masters and pretty much despises all young women, and tells them he is still a tech (he is though, but just for this last semester of school - then he is off to e a white collar job in the oil patch) and they still run - but he knows the first girl to not run will be a good girl to go after!

Right or wrong, biological or cultural, women seem to need to date someone who makes more money than them. Lots of girls disagree when asked until they are blue in the face, but then in reality totally live up to that rule. And with so many women making so much money these days you are in a bit of trouble. There are only so many young guys making more than $100k/year in Calgary - something has to give on the girls part. Inversely, as a guy, i have no problem dating an awesome waitress or secretary v. a lawyer or doctor. They may make less, but at least they understand lifestyle over money. So you have a lot of women looking for a small cross section of men while those same men look at a huge cross section of women? Recipe for disaster from the womens perspective IMO?


It is sad though, a few people have gotten rich out of this boom and most of the rest just greedy....



One last thought. I think women especially are bad for going to work all day in Calgary with a big shield up to avoid guys hitting on them at work and/or to project a professional image to be taken seriously, and then with all the hours people work here and with blackberry's being on everyones hips, they forget to turn it off when they leave the office. Guys can sense that shield is up, and frankly it is not the shield that is bad - it is the fact that i (and many others?) wouldn't want to date someone who still has their work shield up at 9pm at night, etc.

[Ozy_Flame]

Originally Posted by Claeren

Every thing Claeren said.

Give this man an award.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by FireFly

I think you misinterpret the article. It said that they're to weak to even ask a woman out, and when they do, it's lame. Women want MEN. Not wussies. Not a-holes. But a man who is willing to actually be a man...

Best advice of thread right here, it took me SO LONG too figure this out and I mean really figure it out

[Metro Gnome]

On a similar note, a friend of mine who recently got out of a long-term relationship was set-up for a blind-date by some acquaintances.

He's in his early 30's and is a decently compensated retail manager. He has his own place/car, etc...

On the date, as they sat down for dinner, the woman asked him - flat out - how much he made per year. A little stunned by her gall, he paused but then answered. Her reply?

"Im sorry. That's not enough."

I have no idea if this is "typical" of Alberta girls or not but...yeesh.

[rubecube]

A little OT but do you guys find more women attracted to you when you're in a relationship? I've been hit on more since I've had a girlfriend than in the previous years that I was single. I even had one smokin' hot blonde flat out ask me on a date when she was standing behind me at an ATM machine. It's some kind of strange phenomenom.

[FanIn80]

Originally Posted by troutman

Define "naughty". 5,000 words minimum.

..and pictures.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by rubecube

A little OT but do you guys find more women to attracted to you when you're in a relationship? I've been hit on more since I've had a girlfriend than in the previous years that I was single. I even had one smokin' hot blonde flat out ask me on a date when she was standing behind me at an ATM machine. It's some kind of strange phenomenom.

Of course it’s human nature

The second something becomes off limits it instantly goes up in value

It’s the “Do not push this button syndrome” the second you see that sign you want to push that button

Back in my bar/club days I would tell almost every girl I met that I had a GF, and they where all over me

[FireFly]

I'd like to know where you guys meet these women?! Of course I ask a guy what they do for a living... however it has nothing to do with what kind of money they make, rather it has to do with what they do for 8 hours of their day! If I want to know a guy, I want to know how he spends his time and whether or not he actually enjoys it.

As for the woman who asked what the guy made... I don't even know where to start. I mean really, even if the guy makes $250,000/year, how is he going to take being asked that at all? What kind of guy are you attracting that has no issues dating a woman with that as their main criteria anyway?

I think some of the men and women in this city have ruined it for the rest of us. God forbid I want to dress up to go out lest I get labelled a gold-digger or something. And God forbid a guy actually strike up a conversation with a lady lest he get shot down for bad shoes. It's a sad state of affairs.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by J pold

Of course it’s human nature

The second something becomes off limits it instantly goes up in value

It’s the “Do not push this button syndrome” the second you see that sign you want to push that button

Back in my bar/club days I would tell almost every girl I met that I had a GF, and they where all over me

In a lot of these instances though, I didn't even tell them I had a girlfriend (i.e. ATM blonde). It's like they have some kind sixth sense. Maybe your pheremones change or something wacky like that if you're getting sex on a regular basis.

[Claeren]

Originally Posted by rubecube

A little OT but do you guys find more women attracted to you when you're in a relationship? I've been hit on more since I've had a girlfriend than in the previous years that I was single. I even had one smokin' hot blonde flat out ask me on a date when she was standing behind me at an ATM machine. It's some kind of strange phenomenom.

To an extent. I think you need to combine this with the 'acting like a man' concept though. When happily dating one women you treat other women more matter-of-factly, like a man should. So they are really just picking up on your acting like a man towards them v. your relationship.

The trick is to just project that same confidence (And initial dis-interest in attractive women you meet) you have when dating one women when not dating any women.

I think most guys figure this one out eventually though, no?