Spouse Fight Bed Positions

[KevanGuy]

Position 2 made me laugh. I remember that position all too well. I'd usually get a good kick just after I'd start snoring.

[CrzyCanuck]

Position number five is awesome!

Here is a tip for those expecting on planning on kids. If you sleep on the side of the bed thats closer to the future baby room, make sure you begin the switch to the other side of the bed many months in advance of the arrival date!!

[red '00]

Originally posted by KevanGuy@Mar 28 2005, 04:02 PM
Position 2 made me laugh. I remember that position all too well. I'd usually get a good kick just after I'd start snoring.

That used to happen to me all the time, you see, my girlfriend hated it when I snore and would always kick me in the middle of the night so I would stop. Only thing is, she would always kick me right in the groin. I didn't even know she did that either, I would wake up and start p*ssing blood, thinking I have something wrong with my package. So one night I decided to get to the bottom of it, and I pretended to sleep, and started snoring. Sure enough, she kicked me right in the jewels. I jumped up and screamed "what are you doing!?" She looked shocked and told me she was having a bad dream where a dog was attacking her and she was simply kicking it to make it stop. Well the next night, I rolled over and started humping the chit out of her, she woke up and yelled "what are you doing!?". I looked down calmy and said "I had a bad dream where I dog was attacking me, I was screwing it to make it stop". I haven't seen her in yeeeeears.

[Agamemnon]

I've found threatening number 5 to be a lot more effective than doing number 5. I mean, you don't really want to sleep on the bathroom floor, and, if you're playing your cards right, she doesn't want you to either.

Of course, that was a tactical part of the grand strategy; anytime you're accused of doing something, _always_ find a way to turn it around, and get mad at them. Works best for imaginary/paranoid problems on her part... if you've really screwed up, you probably deserve to sleep on the bathroom floor.

[KevanGuy]

Originally posted by red '00+Mar 28 2005, 04:15 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (red '00 @ Mar 28 2005, 04:15 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-KevanGuy@Mar 28 2005, 04:02 PM
Position 2 made me laugh. I remember that position all too well. I'd usually get a good kick just after I'd start snoring.

That used to happen to me all the time, you see, my girlfriend hated it when I snore and would always kick me in the middle of the night so I would stop. Only thing is, she would always kick me right in the groin. I didn't even know she did that either, I would wake up and start p*ssing blood, thinking I have something wrong with my package. So one night I decided to get to the bottom of it, and I pretended to sleep, and started snoring. Sure enough, she kicked me right in the jewels. I jumped up and screamed "what are you doing!?" She looked shocked and told me she was having a bad dream where a dog was attacking her and she was simply kicking it to make it stop. Well the next night, I rolled over and started humping the chit out of her, she woke up and yelled "what are you doing!?". I looked down calmy and said "I had a bad dream where I dog was attacking me, I was screwing it to make it stop". I haven't seen her in yeeeeears. [/b][/quote]
Ummm...well...that sure hasnt happened to me.