Bad Landlord Rant

[Jayems]

Although this all sounds like it would mildly aggravate the landlord, won't most suggestions grossly affect the next tenant who has nothing to do with all this? That, and if she is truly inept, she'll do nothing for their suffering.

But... if we're making suggestions, I'll have to agree with Fotze... dead hooker in the carpet.

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaFrapp

Try to spruce up the place before you go with a fresh paint job. I suggest a nice black on all the walls.

forget paint. paint the walls in "hangover black"

[Hemi-Cuda]

Originally Posted by Jayems

Although this all sounds like it would mildly aggravate the landlord, won't most suggestions grossly affect the next tenant who has nothing to do with all this? That, and if she is truly inept, she'll do nothing for their suffering.

But... if we're making suggestions, I'll have to agree with Fotze... dead hooker in the carpet.

who moves into a place if it is left in the condition previous posts suggest? i'd definitely do that, might teach her to respect her tenants a little more when she has to go a few months with no rent money coming in as she cleans the place up

[Flames_Gimp]

i say whip up a batch of diaper soup and let it simmer and reduce it down into a nice syrup. Take a syringe and inject it into every crack, electrical socket etc.

[Dion]

Go to your local pet shop and buy lots mice. Release them in the house as your leaving. Then phone the health board and complain of a mouse problem.

I can just imagine the look on her face when she opens the door to mice everywhere

[ken0042]

All that stuff might be fun, but will mean a 0% chance of getting your money back, and a decent chance you will owe more.

On the other hand, you have no way of knowing for sure if she plans of stiffing you or not. If the money is as important to you as you say, leave the place clean but I would stop short professional cleaning. Rent a rug doctor or something.

I had a similar jerk landlord. Didn't do the walkthru, slow on broken appliances (except water heater- kinda funny.) But on move out day he asked me "Anything I should know about the apartment?" I pointed out a couple of minor things, he had me write down my address and I got my cheque 10 days later. I was pleasantly surprised.

Also, when I looked into it back then, if the landlord doesn't have a copy of the walkthru, it is up to him to prove the condition of the place.

[I_am_Beast]

I thought in alberta if the landlord doesn't do a walk throough he can be fined.

I'd call the landlord / tenants # put in claims they will act on your behalf.

[Jayems]

Originally Posted by Hemi-Cuda

who moves into a place if it is left in the condition previous posts suggest? i'd definitely do that, might teach her to respect her tenants a little more when she has to go a few months with no rent money coming in as she cleans the place up

I have buddies who moved into a place that the previous tenants were pissed at the landlord. They chucked raw meat (and A LOT of raw meat) into the furthest place of a crack in the wall. They basically had to removed a whole wall and then go climb in there and get all the rotten meat out. They had no idea it was there when they moved in, and started to notice the stench some week or so after. It got so bad, and they were miserable for ages until they got it removed. The rest of the place was fine, or looked fine.

[BuzzardsWife]

Originally Posted by HotHotHeat

This is in Nanaimo. I think I'll at least threaten to go to the tenant officer and we'll see if she calls my bluff. It's just not worth it with the traveling costs to file a compliant.

I just got back from Nanaimo. Grew up there, love it. I'd put shrimp under the carpet and in the heating vents.

[burn_this_city]

Go to a petstore buy 500 crickets and set them loose in the place..

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by ken0042

On the other hand, you have no way of knowing for sure if she plans of stiffing you or not.

It sure sounds like she plans on stiffing him.

If the landlord is hanging up on the tenant and making no effort to even see the condition of the place before he leaves then it doesn't look good. Her shabby landlordiness tendencies in the past don't make it sound like she's going to be a good honest citizen.

I've been burned by a landlord or two in my day and I'm still sore about it.

If the OP is going to get ripped-off then he should make sure the damage deposit that is being stolen from him actually goes toward repairing some damage. Maybe he can get a kickback from the local drywaller out of the deal.

[CaptainCrunch]

Why damage the house. Buy about 10 pounds of meth and about 10 Glock pistols and hide them in the trunk of her car. Sneak into her house and lift her finger prints from any surface and put them on a knife that you bury in a drifters back.

Phone every religious organization and pretend to be her, give them her address and tell them that you've lost faith in life and you'd like to talk to somebody.

Rob her convienience store.

Noisely bury a store dummy in her back yard at midnight.

go to the police station and complain that she touched you . . . there.

Renovate as a final gift, lay down hardwood, paint the walls replace the furnace, then after she inspects it sneak in and take a dump in every corner of the house and write Helter Skelter on the walls in pigs blood the night before she's showing the house to the next potential tenants.

Get Paris Hilton and Lindsy Lohan drunk and dump their vomit encrusted naked bodies in the living room and call the national enquirer.

[Eric Vail]

I am surprised to be the first one to write that renters can be jerks too. I have been screwed out of thousands of dollars from damage that crooked tenants did to my apartment after I treated them with nothing but respect. I have gotten tired of dealing with jerks and may be selling my one rental property in about a year because of all the hassles. Some have these ideas that all landlords are these high rollers that can easily afford the expense these jerks dish out, but the truth of it is I decided to park my $10,000 in real estate instead of mutual funds five years ago and became a landlord.

Some landlords are jerks, but I would argue that there are at least as many tenants who are jerks - maybe more.

[Teh_Bandwagoner]

Throw a hobo party! Then after the hobo party, tell them they're welcome to stay as long as they'd like.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Teh_Bandwagoner

Throw a hobo party! Then after the hobo party, murder them all in gruesom fashion and plant evidence incriminating the landlady.

Fixed.

[photon]

Originally Posted by Eric Vail

Some landlords are jerks, but I would argue that there are at least as many tenants who are jerks - maybe more.

I agree, if only because there's more tenants than landlords. I've lost $8000 to bad tenants.. And I'm a landlord that gives gift baskets to my tenants for Christmas.

[ResAlien]

edit: nm.

Appears you're already pretty hosed. We all like to be quite glib with our responses, but it really depends on the kind of person you are.

Person 1: Honest, responsible, nice etc. If this is the case, report her to whatever agencies you can. On the web, there must be sites regarding that area for "do not rent from this person" etc. Post on those profusely. Continue calling and try to resolve it.

Person 2: Rage, anger, little respect for laws. Screw it. You've lost the money and retribution is all you have left. Have someone other than yourselves slash her tires. Know someone with a crappy car? Hit and run hers while it's parked (late at night, of course). At least you can get even and cost her the same if not more than what she screwed you for.

Or person 3: Hippy. Karma will get her in the end. Boring option.

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by BuzzardsWife

I just got back from Nanaimo. Grew up there, love it. I'd put shrimp under the carpet and in the heating vents.

Put frozen shrimp inside electrical junction boxes where plugs switches are located. Eventually, the smell becomes unbearable and is hard to locate as it is everywhere. With an electric screwdriver and a 5 pound bag of mini frozen shrimp you can do every box in the place in less than an hour.

[kipperfan]

The idea about copying the key, making 30+ copies and handing it out to the homeless is the best idea in the thread....I know because I did it. Some may remember I myself had a landlord "rant" type thread myself some months ago and waited patiently until my lease was over, then before I left copied the key 50 times, printed out little address cards at work, laminated them and proceeded to head down to the mustard seed and told a large bunch of bums about the new "hang out" I had for them. I got a call 2 weeks latter from a distraught land lady yelling and screaming that I let homeless in - I advised I had no idea what she was talking about and told her if she could prove then sue me - heard nothing since then, nor will I. From what I have heard from friend in the building, the apartment was turned into a shanty town within 2 days....oh darn.

[ricosuave]

Originally Posted by Eric Vail

I am surprised to be the first one to write that renters can be jerks too. I have been screwed out of thousands of dollars from damage that crooked tenants did to my apartment after I treated them with nothing but respect. I have gotten tired of dealing with jerks and may be selling my one rental property in about a year because of all the hassles. Some have these ideas that all landlords are these high rollers that can easily afford the expense these jerks dish out, but the truth of it is I decided to park my $10,000 in real estate instead of mutual funds five years ago and became a landlord.

Some landlords are jerks, but I would argue that there are at least as many tenants who are jerks - maybe more.

Thank you! I felt this way too. I'm not defending this one, however, but yes, there are a lot of tenants who do everything in their power to screw the landlord or the premises.