04-18-2008, 02:06 AM
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#21
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Basement Chicken Choker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a land without pants, or war, or want. But mostly we care about the pants.
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I always wonder how relationships like that start:
Putin: Hey, you mind if I buy you a drink?
Kabaeva: Sure, I guess.
Putin: I'm Vladimir, by the way.
(points to the dozen bulky security guys in dark suits)
You mind if these guys sit with us?
Kabaeva: Uhhhh... ok...
Putin: I have to ask - did you recognize me when I came into the bar? I thought maybe you looked over and smiled, and it could have been you recognized me from on TV. Not that that's a problem or anything, just wondering!
Kabaeva: No, sorry. Are you famous or something?
Putin: Seriously - you don't recognize me? (hums a few bars of the Russian national anthem). Think... politics.
Kabaeva: Nope. I've got nothing here.
Putin: (thinks for a minute, then has an idea) Boom! Boom! Die Chechnyns! Die die die! NOW do you know who I am?
Kabaeva: Still no idea. Does it matter? Buy me another drink and you can be Stalin if that makes you happy.
Putin: (goes all glum-faced, then brightens up). Do you know I have a Mercedes limousine with cocaine filling all the ashtrays?
Kabaeva: (grabs her purse and jacket) Let's go!
__________________
Better educated sadness than oblivious joy.
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04-18-2008, 02:25 AM
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#22
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Oklahoma - Where they call a puck a ball...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
Wow, looks like Putin could seriously kick some ass. Plus, a president who's a ladies man like that and ruthless as well. Awesome.
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Yeah His name was Bill CLinton HAHAHAHAHA that guy pulled some serious strange!! 
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04-18-2008, 09:18 AM
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#23
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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Wow, Vlad be pimpin'!
__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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04-18-2008, 09:49 AM
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#24
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nickerjones
Yeah His name was Bill CLinton HAHAHAHAHA that guy pulled some serious strange!! |
Um Putin wins on taste.
And he smokes cigars, he doesn't dip them
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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04-18-2008, 09:53 AM
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#25
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Powerplay Quarterback
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I have new respect for the Russian leader............wow.
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04-18-2008, 09:58 AM
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#26
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Calgary
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Ha, awesome.
What an upgrade.
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04-18-2008, 10:15 AM
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#28
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Appealing my suspension
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Just outside Enemy Lines
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro
Give that man a red square.
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If Putin posted on this board....Damn straight I would! If I'm powerful enough at the age of 56 that I can have 24 year olds like that still wanting to hit me....I'll be all over it, my inheritance be damned!
__________________
"Some guys like old balls"
Patriots QB Tom Brady
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04-18-2008, 10:16 AM
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#29
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Calgary
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Apparently flexibility really doesn't do much to assist in the bedroom. In addition, she's kind of a butterface, no? Maybe just not my taste in women but her eyes are too far apart and she's kind of creepy looking. It's still an upgrade on his ex, but man... I'm sure there are hotter women in Russia.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grimbl420
I can wash my penis without taking my pants off.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moneyhands23
If edmonton wins the cup in the next decade I will buy everyone on CP a bottle of vodka.
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04-18-2008, 10:21 AM
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#31
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tromboner
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: where the lattes are
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
Apparently flexibility really doesn't do much to assist in the bedroom. In addition, she's kind of a butterface, no?
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Umm... no.
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04-18-2008, 10:41 AM
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#32
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
Apparently flexibility really doesn't do much to assist in the bedroom. In addition, she's kind of a butterface, no? Maybe just not my taste in women but her eyes are too far apart and she's kind of creepy looking. It's still an upgrade on his ex, but man... I'm sure there are hotter women in Russia.
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I'm sure you think that she has fat ankles too.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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04-18-2008, 10:43 AM
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#33
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
I'm sure you think that she has fat ankles too.
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 Yeah. I said she's a butterface. I didn't say she was fat. There are lots of beautiful women in the world, I don't think she's one of them. But then I'm justifying myself to a man who would probably screw the fat chick on Drew Carey so...
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grimbl420
I can wash my penis without taking my pants off.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moneyhands23
If edmonton wins the cup in the next decade I will buy everyone on CP a bottle of vodka.
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04-18-2008, 10:47 AM
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#34
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: The wagon's name is "Gaudreau"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nehkara
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Oh, snap!
__________________
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04-18-2008, 11:13 AM
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#35
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary
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Wow, congrats Mr Putin. Damn. May I say D A M N.
__________________
MYK - Supports Arizona to democtratically pass laws for the state of Arizona
Rudy was the only hope in 08
2011 Election: Cons 40% - Nanos 38% Ekos 34%
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04-18-2008, 11:16 AM
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#36
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary
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Wow, their pillow talk must be strange...
PUTIN: I am ex KGB, I will break you like Ivan Drago broke the black dude in the Rocky movie.
HOTTIE: Nope, you cant break me, see (as she bends).
PUTIN: Oh Snap, Gigadee Gigadee Gi Ga Dee.
__________________
MYK - Supports Arizona to democtratically pass laws for the state of Arizona
Rudy was the only hope in 08
2011 Election: Cons 40% - Nanos 38% Ekos 34%
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04-18-2008, 01:16 PM
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#37
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Redundant Minister of Redundancy
Self-Banned
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I've always told my wife that when she hits 50 I'm trading her in for two 25 year olds.
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04-18-2008, 03:21 PM
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#38
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
Yeah. I said she's a butterface. I didn't say she was fat. There are lots of beautiful women in the world, I don't think she's one of them. But then I'm justifying myself to a man who would probably screw the fat chick on Drew Carey so... |
Hey hey
Give me a little credit here, the fat chick on Drew Carey, forget that, Rita McNeil has far more class.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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04-18-2008, 03:25 PM
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#39
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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Crowsnest Pass
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And I want you to be my acrobat, I want you to be my lover.
- Elton Putin
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