How to overcome...errr....well you know...

[Cheese]

Masturbation.

Thought youd get a kick out of this article developed by the Mormon church on how to overcome the ...ahem...problem.

This was found in a 1970s "guide" by the way....and represents both sexes when it is discussed. Long but amusing read.



STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles


Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been,
both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.

This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You
must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision,
the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

But it must be more than a hope or a whish, more than knowing that it
is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your
mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any
tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.

After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific
guidelines:



A Guide to Self-Control:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during
normal toilet processes.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company
and stay in this good company.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same
problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never
associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't
suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will.
You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in
their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind.
The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where
it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more
wholesome things.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never
stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long
enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE
BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your
family present.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the
most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you
cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would
be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those
clothes. By the time you started to remove protective
clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your
thinking that the temptation would leave you.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed,
GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A
SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if
you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining
weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET
YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your
thoughts, so to speak.

7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your
problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a
thought, then an act."
The thought pattern must be changed. You must not
allow this problem to remain in your mid. When you
accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read
good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the
Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading
at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the
four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The
four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above
anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their
uplifting qualities.

9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for
that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray
for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray
for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends,
your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT
MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT
IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind!



The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect [sic] on how
easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to
control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and
is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the
act, he develops the power to control it.

We are taught that our bodies are temples of God, and are to be clean
so that the Holy Ghost may dwell within us. Masturbation is a sinful habit
that robs one of the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional stress. It is not
physically harmful unless practiced in the extreme. It is a habit that is
totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no way expresses the proper use of
the procreative power given to man to fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore
separates a person from God and defeats the gospel plan.

This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect
testimony becomes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings become
burdensome, offerins.

To help in planning an effective program to overcome the problem a
brieation is given of how the reproductive organs in a young man function.

The testes in your body are continually producing hundreds of millions
of reproductive cells call _spermatozoa_. These are moved up a tube called the
_vas deferens_ to a place called the _ampulla_ where they are mixed with fluids
from two membranous pouches called _seminal vesicles_ and the _prostate gland_.
The resultant fluid is calleeminal vesicles are full a signa to the _central
nervous system_ indicating they are ready to benother, depending on such
thingsexercise, state of health, etc. everal times a week, for others
It is normal for the vesicles to be emptied occasionally at night
durise the emptying come from the cetral nervous system. Often an erotic dream
is experienced at the same time, and is a part of this normal process. nstead
ourse, the reproductive system is operating at a more rapid pace, trying to
keep up with the loss of semen. When he stops the habit, the body will
continue to produce ahis increased rate, for an indefese are not harmful and
are to be endured until the normal central nervous system pathway of rel
During this period of control several things can be done to make the pr
As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming
masturbation can be implemented using some of t Remember it is essential that a
regur report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures
understood and eliminated.


Suggestions:

1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will
strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out
lout when the temptations are the strongest.

2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises
reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely
basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical
activity when you feel stress increasing.

3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_ to
those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then
recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn.
It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish
need to indulge.

4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week,
month, year and finally commit to never doing it again.
Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always be
open to temptation.

5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved
through a changed self-image. Spend time every day
imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming
tempting situations.

6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate
this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your
relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to
enhance your strengths and talents.

7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others
and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use
principles of developing friendships found in books such as
_How to Win Friends and Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.

8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to
feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These
emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a
way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods
through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting
a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry
it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of
self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to
have _no black days_. The calendar becomes a strong visual
reminder of self control and should be looked at when you
are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up
until you have at least three clear months.

10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at
certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall,
in detail, what your particular times and conditions were.
Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the
pattern through counter activities.

11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective
technique called _aversion therapy_. When we associate
or think of something very distasteful with something which has
been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought
and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was
pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful
with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the
act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think
of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of
them as you do the act.

12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the
bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage
being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.

13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake,
no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something.
Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large
amounts of fluids before retiring.

15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food.
Eat as lightly as possible at night.

16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and
not binding.

17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that
might create sexual excitement.

18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use
in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in
hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme
cases.

19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to
the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of
masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This
can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of
clothing which would be difficult to remove while half
asleep.

20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have
to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you
overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which
delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your
progress.

21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude
patterns which were part of your problem. _Satan Never Gives
Up_. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive
mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and
strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life
a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

[Lanny_MacDonald]

Two words. "Sandpaper Gloves". O_o

[BlackArcher101]

Originally posted by Cheese@Mar 14 2005, 12:56 PM
7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your
problem.

Hmmm, if you say so. I better stop reading right here.

[CaptainCrunch]

There's only one response to this

Artist: Divinyls
Song: I Touch Myself

Lyrics:

I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me

Chorus:
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

You're the one who makes me happy honey
You're the sun who makes me shine
When you're around I'm always laughing
I want to make you mine

I close my eyes
And see you before me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me
A fool could see
Just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees
I'd do anything for you

Chorus

I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me

Chorus

I want you
I don't want anybody else
And when I think about you
I touch myself
Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah

Chorus

[KevanGuy]

18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use
in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in
hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme
cases.


This one is my favorite. I can just hear some Mormon preist giving this lecture...."It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem, lets saaaay, ohhhh. I dont know, umm, maybe a ahhhhh, a ahhhhhh, a Book of Mormon perhaps? Yes, that would do just fine."

[Lanny_MacDonald]

There's only one reply to Captain's reply!

She Bop Lyrics
by Cindy Lauper

We-hell-I see them every night in tight blue jeans--
In the pages of a blue boy magazine
Hey I've been thinking of a new sensation
I'm picking up--good vibration--
Oop--she bop--

Do I wanna go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop--or I'll go blind
Oop--she bop--she bop

She bop--he bop--a--we bop
I bop--you bop--a--they bop
Be bop--be bop--a--lu--she bop,
I hope He will understand
She bop--he bop--a--we bop
I bop--you bop--a--they bop
Be bop--be bop--a--lu--she bop,
Oo--oo--she--do--she bop--she bop

(whistle along here)...

Hey, hey--they say I better get a chaperone
Because I can't stop messin' with the danger zone
No, I won't worry, and I won't fret--
Ain't no law against it yet--
Oop--she bop--she bop--

She bop--he bop--we bop...

[FlamesAddiction]

[Super-Rye]

Ahahahahhaa, it's funny because they're being serious.

[Madman]

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same
problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never
associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't
suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will.
You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in
their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind.
The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where
it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more
wholesome things.

Well, there goes all my friends. :P

This line is the best:

Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will.

"Hey Bob, you wanna quit masturbating with me?" :P

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally posted by Madman@Mar 14 2005, 10:13 PM

Well, there goes all my friends. :P

This line is the best:

"Hey Bob, you wanna quit masturbating with me?" :P

Yeah this would take priority for Bob, right after he quits smoking and drinking and dope smoking

[Incinerator]

I have a simple solution for the Mormons who finds it difficult to overcome their guilt of masturbation:



























Get laid, or failing that, enlist the services of your local "sex trade workers" (this one is for that guy in the Gauntlet thread lol...)

[Abstract]

Can we use number 3 to get KevanGuy and Cheese kicked out the cphl?

[Crazy Flamer]

What? You've got to be kidding me!! And number 3 is a total joke. If I were to follow that I wouldn't have any friends. Hell, no one would!

[BlackArcher101]

Ya, if I followed #3, I'm sure alot of people would be angry at me. No one likes people that yell in a movie theatre, quiet restaurant, or class.

[calf]

Originally posted by Cheese@Mar 14 2005, 12:56 PM
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry
it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of
self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to
have _no black days_. The calendar becomes a strong visual
reminder of self control and should be looked at when you
are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up
until you have at least three clear months.

ction and fulfillment.

what the hell? if you have a pocket calendar, how are you supposed to keep your hands away from your naughty bits?

[Daradon]

This thread is making me think I forgot to do something today...

[The Goon]

I believe I read that circumcision was introduced in the early 1900s as a way of "curing" masturbation, which was being blamed for a number of diseases.

[Daradon]

Circumcision has been around for thousands of years man...

And I have my own theory of why it was orginally practiced...

[The Fonz]

edit

[Super-Rye]

If I followed number 3, I'd have no friends of any gender, and have to quit my job.