03-24-2008, 12:11 PM
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#21
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke
How did I get beaten to: "Plow Her?"
Weak.
Alright, time to fall back on an old classic.
Kill a hobo together. Nothing brings people closer together than stomping a homeless person to death and sharing a secret that neither one can tell.
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Man that brings back memories.
"Ok, Sweetie you take the safety off like this, now when he sticks his head up, you center the cross hairs on his eye and squeeze not pull the trigger"
BANG
"I love you"
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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03-24-2008, 12:13 PM
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#22
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Powerplay Quarterback
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So many ideas....I guess it depends on what your interests are. Is she artsy? butch? sporty? If she's artsy, take her to one of those 'paint your own pottery' places. If she's butch, take her to the gun range on Blackfoot. If she's sporty, go bowling, mini-putt or batting cages.
A nice drive to Cochrane for Ice Cream at Mackay's, a drive to Okotoks to see the erratics, a hike in K-Country, the gondola at Sulphur mountain, jazz at the BeatNiq.....wow, makes me wish I were single again!
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03-24-2008, 12:14 PM
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#23
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Not the one...
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Some kinda combination of hookers and blow.
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03-24-2008, 12:15 PM
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#24
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
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Take her to karaoke and sing a rousing rendition of The Doors' "Backdoor Man".
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03-24-2008, 12:16 PM
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#25
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Norm!
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Set up a phony fight club with your friends and tell her that its been around for years.
Hire Locke to take a snap kick to the chin and have him fall down in tears.
Then point at your new ex girlfriend and quietly whisper with some menance
"The only rule to this fight club, is that nobody talks about the fight club"
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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03-24-2008, 12:17 PM
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#26
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Calgary
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drop her off at my place!
[pics first]
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03-24-2008, 12:18 PM
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#27
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 Posted the 6 millionth post!
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I write for a men's magazine similar to Maxim. What I can tell you is that it needs to be a casual date, one where you can show her that while you ahve known her for three months, you can be more than a friend.
This isn't a normal "First date", as some imply a 'blind date,' or somebody completely new.
By this time, you should know a bit about her, so make your date schedule conducive to her interests. Not only does this show that you've been paying attention to her, but also that what you can do for her is relevant and meaningful.
Just don't think you're in the 'zone' after one date though; you'll be there after a few dates - it's a common mistake most men make.
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03-24-2008, 12:19 PM
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#28
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveToms
Going off SaskaBushFire's idea
You could take her to Pete's Peanut Pub, pay Locke some money to hit on her and then take a punch for you as defend her.
Then of course you Plow her.
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I charge $25/hour and command a per diem.
If you bring her on a day when the Canucks are playing you can defend her against a whole mob.
__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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03-24-2008, 12:23 PM
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#29
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Calgary, Alberta
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke
I charge $25/hour and command a per diem.
If you bring her on a day when the Canucks are playing you can defend her against a whole mob. 
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If its only one appearance for one day isn't the $25/hour the same as a per diem? Maybe we need an accountant to help figure this out?
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03-24-2008, 12:27 PM
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#30
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: The wagon's name is "Gaudreau"
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Why... why must the hobos always be sacrificed??
__________________
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03-24-2008, 12:27 PM
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#31
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Not the 1 millionth post winnar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Los Angeles
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Coffee at a book store. If you stand her up, she has something to read. And vice versa. You can talk about whatever book the first person to arrive is holding. I recommend "World War Z" so you can explain your preparations for the coming zombie apocalypse.
Taking her for a drink is good. It eases some of the social tension. Just keep it to one or two drinks, and less than two hours.
Second dates are easier. Car wash (you can spray the jets at each other), grocery store (you can cook something together), or zoo (as previously mentioned). Skating at the oval is good too.
Under no circumstances should you go to the movies on a first date. You get nothing from sitting in the dark for 2 hours not talking.
__________________
"Isles give up 3 picks for 5.5 mil of cap space.
Oilers give up a pick and a player to take on 5.5 mil."
-Bax
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03-24-2008, 12:28 PM
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#32
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flashpoint
Coffee at a book store. If you stand her up, she has something to read. And vice versa. You can talk about whatever book the first person to arrive is holding. I recommend "World War Z" so you can explain your preparations for the coming zombie apocalypse.
Taking her for a drink is good. It eases some of the social tension. Just keep it to one or two drinks, and less than two hours.
Second dates are easier. Car wash (you can spray the jets at each other), grocery store (you can cook something together), or zoo (as previously mentioned). Skating at the oval is good too.
Under no circumstances should you go to the movies on a first date. You get nothing from sitting in the dark for 2 hours not talking.
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Wouldn't that depend on the girl? Let me just go get a jumbo bucket of popcorn and a knife.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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03-24-2008, 12:29 PM
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#33
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slava
If its only one appearance for one day isn't the $25/hour the same as a per diem? Maybe we need an accountant to help figure this out? 
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The $25/ hour is non-negotiable. Last time I ended up sitting there for 4 hours waiting for buddy to make his move and by the time he finally got ready to fight me I'd already left with his girlfriend. Charging him for my time the next day was awkward.
The per diem is a hedge against injury due to violence. I usually charge about $150 for hospital fees, meals and beverages and entertainment.
__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
The World Ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. - Flames Fans
If you thought this season would have a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.
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03-24-2008, 12:31 PM
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#34
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#1 Goaltender
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Seriously the longer you can hold off taking her to a movie the better...
Make the first time you guys watch a movie together be at one of your guy's place. Because then you're going to be ploughing her, and not watching the movie.
If you're going to go out for food, make it someplace different that she has never been to. I mean she goes to BPs whenever her dad comes into town... Someplace different also gives you two something more to talk about..
I enjoy sushi on dates. They always seem to be intimate casual places.
take a walk down 17th or something.
bowling
ice skating
hitman hockey (flames if it's in your budget)
hookers
blow
etc.
__________________
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03-24-2008, 12:31 PM
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#35
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Auckland, NZ
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Without any moral reservations, I am in full support of the 'Murder a Hobo' First Date theory. Nothing screams 'potential relationship' like crushing somebody's orbital bones against a concrete sidewalk.
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03-24-2008, 12:32 PM
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#36
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke
The $25/ hour is non-negotiable. Last time I ended up sitting there for 4 hours waiting for buddy to make his move and by the time he finally got ready to fight me I'd already left with his girlfriend. Charging him for my time the next day was awkward.
The per diem is a hedge against injury due to violence. I usually charge about $150 for hospital fees, meals and beverages and entertainment. 
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Seems reasonable, You know I'm gonna be bringing this up the next time we have a disagreement in any topic.
Locke - "Your wrong"
Me - "$175.00 says I punch you in the face"
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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03-24-2008, 12:32 PM
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#37
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Norm!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Muta
Without any moral reservations, I am in full support of the 'Murder a Hobo' First Date theory. Nothing screams 'potential relationship' like crushing somebody's orbital bones against a concrete sidewalk.
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Especially if you bring a camcorder. 10 years down the road they can sit by the fire and watch their own version of "How I met your mother."
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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03-24-2008, 12:40 PM
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#38
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Powerplay Quarterback
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If I had a special female friend right now, I'd be taking her to the shooting range. Heard it is kind of expensive, but it's gotta be fun. Maybe not the best place to have a conversation, but go for a drink/coffee after.
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03-24-2008, 12:42 PM
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#39
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Calgary, Alberta
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
Locke - "Your wrong"
Me - "$175.00 says I punch you in the face"
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 How long until this is someones signature?!
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03-24-2008, 12:43 PM
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#40
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aka Spike
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The Darkest Corners of My Mind
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
Seems reasonable, You know I'm gonna be bringing this up the next time we have a disagreement in any topic.
Locke - "Your wrong"
Me - "$175.00 says I punch you in the face"
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Thats classic
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