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					Originally Posted by Locke  I can always do guest speaker gigs.
 My retainer:
 
 1. You are never allowed to use my real name.  Refer to me only as Locke.
 2. A bottle of Chivas Regal scotch.
 3. Open Bar afterwards.
 4. 2 of the hottest chicks in the crowd, for undisclosed relations, no questions asked.  Must be over 18.
 5. $1000 in small, unmarked "Disneyland Money" Bills.
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Frig I'll give you a cut deal compared to this:
1. Fly me to Calgary
2. An 8 Pack of Keith's
3. I'll pay for the bar
4. 2 of the hottest chicks in the crowd, no questions asked.  Must only have ID saying they're over 18, they don't 
*have* to be
5. $500 Monopoly money is fine
and you can refer to me by my first name (but not last)