Spanking Raises Chances of Risky, Deviant Sexual Behavior

[Cheese]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

It was clear as a bell what I typed and you just flat out ignored it.

Like I said go fark yourself Dis...you think everyone understands you and what you type...its obvious by others comments that you are in your own little world.

[Thunderball]

Originally Posted by Cheese

Cut the crap Tball...and I know damned well what "dominance" means! Quite frankly I dont give a flying if you or others think Im elitest because I dont beat my children. There is never a good reason for force no matter the idiotic reasons you spew. If you arent able to use your mind and your abilities as a parent to outsmart a toddler then maybe you shouldnt have thought of having kids in the first place. Stupid, dangerous and disrespectful things dont require pain to outgrow.

What makes you elitist is the way you shoot people down who don't agree with your views of the world. YOU believe there's never a good reason. Good for you. Others do. Its not about having the ability to outsmart a toddler, its about being able to make things clear to the mentality of a toddler... which lets face it... is not very high yet. Calmly saying "Johnny, please don't cause a scene in the store, I simply can't get you that candy because its unhealthy and could damage your teeth..." is going to do sweet beggar all. Stupid, dangerous and disrespectful things require correction to outgrow. Whatever correction that might be (barring abusive violence) is up to the parent.

Clearly you needed a reminder on the definition of dominance because you jumped to ridiculous and idiotic concluions.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by Cheese

So using your examples doesnt make you elitest? I would think you are a minority.

Spanking DOES equate with beating...all of the time.

Whatever you want to believe go for it.

Man, you are a piece of work sometimes.

Using my examples makes me elitist? How?

Spanking does NOT equate with beating. Ever. Exactly as valid as your opinion.

Clearly your childhood was not as pleasant as mine in this category. I got a few spankings. Very few. I was never beat. Based on your description I'd say you were....which is probably why you spew such venom about it.

I'm not a bad parent no matter what you say. You are not the authority on parenting no matter how great a parent you are.

[Thunderball]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

1. I don't think you're elitist because you don't beat your children. I think you're elitist because you belittle others that don't agree with you. Consistantly.

2. Spanking does not equate with beating. Ever.

3. I don't beat my children, never have.

Thank you for summing it up so clearly.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by Cheese

Like I said go fark yourself Dis...you think everyone understands you and what you type...its obvious by others comments that you are in your own little world.

Keep melting down Cheese. You are simply proving yourself to be exactly what I said you are.

[Deegee]

My parents used spanking on me and I turned out to be a Flames fan.

I don't recall them spanking my brother and he's an Oiler fan.

Seriously, though, we sometimes tap our toddler when he goes after things that could be dangerous to him, but what we have found to be most effective are simple firm "NO!" I think being consistent is more important then anything. The more you reinforce what your little one can and cannot do, the less you have to bring that point across.

And don't give up! We have some friends who were inconsistent in their discipline with their kids and they run wild over them...

[Blaster86]

Whoa this thread melted down hardcore. I thought it was a joke thread.=(

[FlamesAddiction]

I take offense to the idea that spanking equates to beating. I was spanked occassionally as a child, and I never remember it actually physically hurting. It was smacking the ego more than anything. It brings unruly children back down to their level.

In fact, I would say that spanking is more humane than the pinching or ear pulling that some parents use. Those things actually do hurt.

I don't have kids, so I can't say if I actually would spank them or not, but I am fine with it as long as it doesn't actually hurt the child.

[CaramonLS]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Spanking does NOT equate with beating. Ever. Exactly as valid as your opinion.

Dis, I'm legitimately curious where you draw the line between the two.

A lot of people consider them one in the same - as in physical pain caused to the child. Is there a specific amount of pain to elevate one to another or is it the area you strike or what?

[CaramonLS]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

I take offense to the idea that spanking equates to beating. I was spanked occassionally as a child, and I never remember it actually physically hurting. It was smacking the ego more than anything. It brings unruly children back down to their level.

In fact, I would say that spanking is more humane than the pinching or ear pulling that some parents use. Those things actually do hurt.

I don't have kids, so I can't say if I actually would spank them or not, but I am fine with it as long as it doesn't actually hurt the child.

Well I think that is the question here, a lot of us experienced spankings as children, some to the point you're describing of not physically being in pain and some others to where they have trouble sitting down for a couple of hours.

[Azure]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Clearly your childhood was not as pleasant as mine in this category. I got a few spankings. Very few. I was never beat. Based on your description I'd say you were....which is probably why you spew such venom about it.

Or he sees it as a religious tool....which would explain the outright hate for anyone that uses it.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by CaramonLS

Dis, I'm legitimately curious where you draw the line between the two.

A lot of people consider them one in the same - as in physical pain caused to the child. Is there a specific amount of pain to elevate one to another or is it the area you strike or what?

The physical effects shouldn't last more than a few seconds. You shouldn't be able to see redmarks an hour later. Your hand shouldn't hurt as you're doing it.

I am sure there are people out there who are beating their kids claiming to be spanking them. Obviously different people have different definitions...some of which are going to cross that line. I'm confident I never did....and it was never crossed on me as a child....although I think my mom did get me with a wooden spoon once or twice.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by CaramonLS

Well I think that is the question here, a lot of us experienced spankings as children, some to the point you're describing of not physically being in pain and some others to where they have trouble sitting down for a couple of hours.

If it is something as exteme as causing pain to the point that the child can't comfortably sit any more, then that is over the line IMO. I wouldn't even define that as a spanking any more.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by Azure

Or he sees it as a religious tool....which would explain the outright hate for anyone that uses it.

Anyone who attended catholic school probably does hate it...and rightfully so.

I don't have a problem with Cheese hating it or not using it himself AT ALL no matter what his reasoning. That's his right and if he can make that work for him and his children that's outstanding.

I chose to use it on occasion when my kids were younger. I refuse to sit here and be attacked for it.

[Azure]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

If it is something as exteme as causing pain to the point that the child can't comfortably sit any more, then that is over the line IMO. I wouldn't even define that as a spanking any more.

Yep....simply put, thats beating a child.

[Azure]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Anyone who attended catholic school probably does hate it...and rightfully so.

I don't have a problem with Cheese hating it or not using it himself AT ALL no matter what his reasoning. That's his right and if he can make that work for him and his children that's outstanding.

I chose to use it on occasion when my kids were younger. I refuse to sit here and be attacked for it.

I agree. If it worked for him not to spank his kids....good.

But if it works for other parents to use the spanking method at certain times....good for them too.

[Displaced Flames fan]

I'll add this too.

Every kid is different.

I was much more affected by my parents being visibly disappointed in me than anything physical or verbal. Probably why I wasn't spanked very much or disciplined period.

Other kids respond to other things.

The same parenting methods don't work on every child.

[Calgaryborn]

I think you should add anger to the list of things that turns a spanking into abuse. If you've let your kid get under your skin and you respond with a swat you've crossed a line. I always approached spanking by first telling them what they had done to warrant a spanking and always expressed regret that their behaviour had brought them to this point.

Parenting for those who chose to have children, is probably one of the most important things we will do as adults. You won't find too many Seniors in old folks homes who will rattle on and on about their former careers or the vacations they've been on. Usually you hear about they're children and grand babies. Our kids are our gift to the world. Most parents are sensitive about criticism about their parenting. Parenting is a very personal thing. That's why I worry about these studies that come around from time to time that try to paint one method of parenting as harmful. They are produced by people promoting their own view of parenting; People who are not tolerant of other methods. These biased studies could be the basis for justifying legislation that lets the State tell parents how to raise their children. All they need to do is redefine the word "abuse" and all of a sudden millions of parents become criminals or lose the ability to decide what is best for their own children. Liberal fascism at its best.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by Cheese

So using your examples doesnt make you elitest? I would think you are a minority.

Spanking DOES equate with beating...all of the time.

Whatever you want to believe go for it.

Well I sure hope you never give your wife a little spankin now and then... Or maybe you do beat your wife?

[Thor]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

I'll add this too.

Every kid is different.

I was much more affected by my parents being visibly disappointed in me than anything physical or verbal. Probably why I wasn't spanked very much or disciplined period.

Other kids respond to other things.

The same parenting methods don't work on every child.

I'd say its not what works on the kid, but its how the parents raise the child. Children are the same, they are all using the same brain, and unless chemically imbalanced or suffering some dehabilitation they are all affected by the same things IF the parents are using proven techniques.

Non touch discipline works well IF the parents do it properly. I find that people miss the point that its not that 'kids are different' thats the issue, its that parents are different and thus some choose to use a form of punishment involving contact over others who use no such tactics.

Parents that spank arent horrible people, but I do believe with the way psychology covers this aspect of parenting that its no longer necessary these days to use them since there are effective ways to discipline children without physical contact.

Don't forget verbal abuse is a common problem as well, if not more dangerous to a child than actual spanking. But both are methods I would not use on a child and I think in the next few hundred years we'll see it become an extinct practice.

If parents use spanking it is often done in a moment of anger.

Thats the biggest problem and the most problematic issue for this debate.