Depreciating Assets

[Sainters7]

Got this forwarded to me and it's gold. This was a personal ad and response printed in The Independent on Oct. 14, 2007, and was originally posted on Craigslist; a New York community message board. I can't believe there's actually people like this in the world. The response is perfect:


THE AMERICAN WAY OF ROMANCE
The Independent on Sunday, 14 October 2007

"What am I doing wrong? I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful(spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm over-reaching at all. Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a businessman who made around 200-250K. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. $250,000 won't get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker, and lives in Tribeca. She's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? Here are my questions specifically:

• Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms.
• What are you looking for in a mate?
• Is there an age range I should be targeting?
• Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East Side so plain? What's the story there?
• Lawyers, investment bankers, doctors. How much do those guys really make? And where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
• How do you rich guys decide on marriage vs just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY."

An Investment Banker's Response:
"I qualify as a guy who fits your bill - I make more than $500K per year. Here's how I see it: Your offer is a plain and simple crappy business deal. What you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity - in fact, it is very likely that my income will increase, but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful! So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset. In Wall Street terms, we'd call you a trading position - not a buy and hold. It doesn't make good business sense to 'buy you' (which is what you're asking) - so I'd rather lease. The deal that makes sense for me is dating, not marriage."


I guess one benefit of being a grade school teacher is I'll never have to deal with someone like this, good God.

[OILFAN #81]

I totally thought this thread was going to be about Pamela Anderson.

On to your post: LOL, that's an awesome response! Thanks for sharing.

[Sainters7]

Originally Posted by OILFAN #81

I totally thought this thread was going to be about Pamela Anderson.

On to your post: LOL, that's an awesome response! Thanks for sharing.

Haha I know what you mean. My buddy who sent it to me likes to send me nasty stuff, when I saw the title I totally thought it was gonna be a pic of some middle-aged woman in a bikini or something.

[4X4]

Ask fotze what he thinks about this...

[Dion]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Ask fotze what he thinks about this...

Do not feed!

[Cliche]

Wasn't this a posting on Craigslist? There's also a few NSFW ones there, including the ad about the artistic couch.

[Ozy_Flame]

Middle class is about a million per year? Good grief.

This chick would do better on a general ledger than a personal ad.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Dion

Do not feed!

Actually, it's a fata. He said something funny the last time we discussed this.

[Bobblehead]

Originally Posted by fotze

I remember the original post but not anything I said.

So you "mis-remember"?

[Muta]

Or, this chick could become an i-banker herself if she wants money so bad?

I mean, looking for somebody else to make a certain amount to support YOUR lifestyle... that just gets my blood boiling. And the sad thing is, there WILL be someone out there that'll do it.

I know a couple sub-20's i-bankers making SICK cash. I should forward their contact info to this chick.

[Cowboy89]

Originally Posted by Sainters7

I guess one benefit of being a grade school teacher is I'll never have to deal with someone like this, good God.

Actually I thought that the I-banker response was very reasonable considering that there was only two types of assets to be traded. I would think the same way as the I-banker if it all came down to the two variables of "How good do you look?" and "How much do you make?"

[Thunderball]

Originally Posted by Cowboy89

Actually I thought that the I-banker response was very reasonable considering that there was only two types of assets to be traded. I would think the same way as the I-banker if it all came down to the two variables of "How good do you look?" and "How much do you make?"

Agreed... if she wants to lower herself to being a man's toy to take care of, its very reasonable to look at her like any investment. In this case, its a poor one. Its like buying a car and losing all resale value as soon as 6 months of cohabitation kick in.

I hate golddiggers, frankly, I consider them parasites, deeply flawed people and an insult to hard working women with integrity. Harsh, I know... but true.

[troutman]

This thread is useless without pictures.

spectacularly beautiful

[Thunderball]

Originally Posted by troutman

This thread is useless without pictures.

spectacularly beautiful

Agreed. One man's "spectacularly beautiful" is another man's "meh," and another man's "three dressed up as a nine... only wasting my time"

[Locke]

Originally Posted by troutman

This thread is useless without pictures.

spectacularly beautiful

I'll second this. Nobody "buys" and asset like this sight unseen.

You gotta kick the tires and take it for a test drive.

[Sainters7]

Originally Posted by Cowboy89

Actually I thought that the I-banker response was very reasonable considering that there was only two types of assets to be traded. I would think the same way as the I-banker if it all came down to the two variables of "How good do you look?" and "How much do you make?"

I was referring to the girl who wrote the personal ad, not the I-banker. What he wrote was gold, and was the whole reason I posted this.

btw really?? This is a fata? Dammit, I'm gettin bad for these now. Must've been under a different title or something...

[4X4]

Originally Posted by fotze

I remember the original post but not anything I said.

I forgot too. That's why I wanted the OP to ask you... Maybe it was another local joke maker.

[Muta]

Originally Posted by Thunderball

I hate golddiggers, frankly, I consider them parasites, deeply flawed people and an insult to hard working women with integrity.

+1... don't know how people can live with themselves if they fall under this status.

[Crispy's Critter]

Originally Posted by troutman

This thread is useless without pictures.

spectacularly beautiful

pretty sure this is her.