Crispys Valentines Day Story - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

CrispyGriz · 02-15-2008, 10:20 PM

So after conversing with czure32 in the chat room, it became clear that this was a question that needed to be asked here.

Starting with the back story......This is how the events of my Valentines day unfolded.

A couple weeks back a close family friend of mine that i hadn't seen in about 5 years due to her moving first to Edmonton then to Sarnia sent me a message on facebook saying that a friend and her were coming up to Edmonton for a school research project/drunken adventure. This sounds like a pretty good idea as we used to be really close and catching up would be an enjoyable way for poor single me to spend a lonely night. Couple days ago, i get another message saying that their accommodations fell through and they were wondering if they could stay at my place for the night. Me, being a self proclaimed nice guy, agree to this letting them know i have a couch to fight over and the other would have to suffer in the floor.

Moving onto to last night. Kirsten, my friend, and Ashley her companion who turned out to be pretty good looking showed up around 2:30. At this point we just sat watched some Fresh Prince and caught up on where we were at this points in our respective lives. This is where the first curveball in the events of the night comes out. Kirsten lets me know she is a lesbian. Of all things, I didn't see that one coming, yet she is the coolest lesbian i have ever met.

From there we headed down to Boston Pizza to grab dinner at around 4. we get our heart shaped pizza in recognition of the farce that is Valentines because they refused to sell us a large pizza. Ashley and I hit it off pretty well and the three of us were having an all around good time.

The night continues on, we head back to my place to continue pre-drinking and figuring out what to do for the evening. The options came down to Filthy McNastys across the street form my place, Dukes by the residence to play quarters or Oil City Roadhouse. We decided that Filthys was the way to go as it was close. So at around 9 we head over to Filthys and the night got underway.

We walk up and find out that Lucky's bottles were a dollar, Hi balls were a dollar, Jagger shots were 3 bucks and jagger bombs were going for 4 and a quarter. This made me happy, cheap alcohol means we can drink way more. We proceed to start getting completely hammered. Ashley and I are flirting back and forth innocently, not really expecting anything to come of it. Being a nice guy, i wasn't going to be the guy that invites a friend to stay with me and then nail her friend with her there.

At least not unless she says i can, which is where curveball number two comes out. When Ashley disappeared to go to the washroom, Kirsten pulled me aside and let me know that she saw the chemistry between us and wouldn't be a block if we decided to do anything. As drunk as i was, it was an offer i wasn't going to turn down. I head to the washroom and i assume Kirsten told Ashley the same thing as the innocent flirting, became a bona fide effort on both our parts to make it happen.

Pretty quick after that, Ashley and I started making out a bit between trying to maintain a conversation with Kirsten unsuccessfully. a few more jagger shots and jagger bombs later we figure heading to my place was the next step. Kirsten crashes on the couch and Ashley and I head to the bedroom for some fun.

So this leads to the question I had, How do I properly apologize/sincerely thank my favorite Lesbian for playing pimp with me and her best friend?

underGRADFlame · 02-15-2008, 10:26 PM

Find a hot lesbian friend of your own, go on a road trip to Sarnia and return the favor..... and for the love of god, take a camera!

Rathji · 02-15-2008, 10:29 PM

This thread is useless without pics...

burn_this_city · 02-15-2008, 11:00 PM

Too bad you didnt nail both.. Thats where I saw this thread going..

CrispyGriz · 02-15-2008, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

Too bad you didnt nail both.. Thats where I saw this thread going..

The thought crossed my mind and was actually suggested jokingly by Ashley, but Kirsten and I were sorta like siblings growing up, would have been really awkward. And at risk of sounding shallow, she isn't that hot.

Temporary_User · 02-16-2008, 01:52 AM

no need to thank your friend. She just did what any decent human being should do.
If you thank her, you come off as a chump imho.

PS longest buildup to a threesome that never happened ever.

Trojan97 · 02-16-2008, 04:08 AM

Oh ya? well my valentine's day consisted of finding out that my ex gf of 2 years is seeing someone after only being broken up with me for a month. So take that!

............

......................

Ok Griz, maybe you win. In all seriousness tho, very well played on your part. I'll be expecting next year's thread to top this one. Lonely guys everywhere on V-day salute you!

icarus · 02-16-2008, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrispyGriz

The thought crossed my mind and was actually suggested jokingly by Ashley

What?! The hot chick suggested a threesome with you and the lesbian girl, and it didn't happen? Brutal!

JiriHrdina · 02-16-2008, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icarus

What?! The hot chick suggested a threesome with you and the lesbian girl, and it didn't happen? Brutal!

Yup. He deserves a blue square.

Clarkey · 02-16-2008, 09:01 AM

This isn't about you asking a question. You just wanted to brag that you got some!

CrispyGriz · 02-16-2008, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icarus

What?! The hot chick suggested a threesome with you and the lesbian girl, and it didn't happen? Brutal!

Honesty, as nice as some medals are to get, sometimes the costs outweigh the gains. I have viewed Kirsten as a sister my entire life and asking her to join us would have left me scarred for life. Plus a bird in hand is worth more than 2 in the bush if you know what i mean.

Quote:

Originally Posted by This isn't about you asking a question. You just wanted to brag that you got some!

This isn't about you asking a question. You just wanted to brag that you got some!

Yes and no, I still want to do something for Kirsten that is hilarious and semi-######ed in every way, which is why i came here.

and for the record, how has hookers and blow not emerged in one way or another yet?

Locke · 02-16-2008, 11:29 AM

I was half expecting this to end with:

"Unfortunately I got way too drunk and plowed the lesbo by accident, straight girl never spoke to me again."

Thats how you end a story CP style.

OILFAN #81 · 02-16-2008, 11:32 AM

I totally saw this thread ending with the scene from Wild Things.

"After tonight the 3 of us will never be seen together"

"After tonight?"

Bom chika bow wow!

J pold · 02-16-2008, 11:33 AM

I really thought this was going to be about a threesome...disappointing

4X4 · 02-16-2008, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrispyGriz

Honesty, as nice as some medals are to get, sometimes the costs outweigh the gains. I have viewed Kirsten as a sister my entire life and asking her to join us would have left me scarred for life. Plus a bird in hand is worth more than 2 in the bush if you know what i mean.

Yes and no, I still want to do something for Kirsten that is hilarious and semi-######ed in every way, which is why i came here.

and for the record, how has hookers and blow not emerged in one way or another yet?

The first bolded statement just makes me laugh, considering the context.

As for the second bolded statement, why don't you just sent her a keychain that says "I boinked your friend!".. You can also send her a card that says that she'll always be welcome at your home.

Locke · 02-16-2008, 11:42 AM

We should have a:

Make up your own ending to Crispy's Valentine's Day Story Contest.

This could be interesting. Crispy, make sure neither of them read CP.

CrispyGriz · 02-16-2008, 11:59 AM

neither are hockey fans in the least, thus i feel safe posting it here.

4X4 · 02-16-2008, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrispyGriz

neither are hockey fans in the least, thus i feel safe posting it here.

Boo. Good thing it was a one night stand.

burn_this_city · 02-16-2008, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrispyGriz

The thought crossed my mind and was actually suggested jokingly by Ashley, but Kirsten and I were sorta like siblings growing up, would have been really awkward. And at risk of sounding shallow, she isn't that hot.

Dude aslong as shes a 6 or better its a-ok in a threesome.. Besides you just combine the values, if you got two 6's its a 12.. a 9 and a 7, 16..

calf · 02-16-2008, 12:24 PM

Quote:

We should have a:

Make up your own ending to Crispy's Valentine's Day Story Contest.

Entry #1

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrispyGriz

Pretty quick after that, Ashley and I started making out a bit between trying to maintain a conversation with Kirsten unsuccessfully. a few more jagger shots and jagger bombs later we figure heading to my place was the next step. Kirsten crashes on the couch and Ashley and I head to the bedroom for some fun. Unfortunately, as we got down to business, the $4 jagerbombs got to the better of me, and I puked all over the bed...she and the aforementioned lesbian promptly left and I'll probably never hear from them again.

So, my question is, does anyone know where I can find some hookers and blow?