Stuff White People Like

[St Loomis]

# 66 - Mos Def

Lol...any other white people going to the concert tomorrow?? Too funny.

[Thunderball]

I laughed when I read through that list... cause that's really a shocking percentage of white people in a nutshell.

I really only fell into maybe a handful of them, like the BA wanting to be Lawyer,and wanting to live near a body of water. However, my Latin blood must cancel out a lot of that stuff... I should probably get a free pass on the Wine one, seeing as we make it (from actual grapes, not kits like white people... )

[bluntus logicimus]

#53 about the dogs is the winner for me.
I usually have to just zone out when people at work are talking about their precious Bishou (sp?) or whatever, for fear of harming my working relationships with them. Thirty people on my floor - 29 are white. That's a lot of dog talk.

[The Fonz]

But the vast majority of white swimming revolves around lakes in the summer. Almost all white people have fond memories of swimming in a lake, and almost all of them have a funny story about how someone they know pooped in the lake and it was gross.

[looooob]

Homer watches "Evening at the Improv" where a black
comedian is doing his routine.

Comedian: Yo, check this out: black guys drive a car like this.
[Leans back, as though his elbow were on the windowsill]
Do, do, ch. Do-be-do, do-be-do-be-do.
Yeah, but white guys, see, they drive a car like this.
[Hunches forward, talks nasally]
Dee-da-dee, a-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee.
[Audience howls with laughter]
Homer: Ah ha ha, it's true, it's true! We're so lame!

[Superflyer]

Originally Posted by Incinerator

we should do a poll on left & right leaning posters here and whether they're white or not.

I bet you could get a very lucrative government grant to find out, go for it.

[Tyler]

The author is definitely a Canadian

[J pold]

On man the more you read the better is gets!!!

Why white people love apple products

Simple answer: Apple products tell the world you are creative and unique. They are an exclusive product line only used by every white college student, designer, writer, English teacher, and hipster on the planet.

When you ask white people about Mac’s they will say “oh, it’s so much better than Windows,” “it’s just easier to use,” “they are so cutting edge,” and so forth. What’s amazing is that white people NEED to meet people who use Windows to justify themselves spending an extra $500 for a pretty looking machine.

It is also important that white people are reminded of their creativity, and remember you need a Mac to creatively check email, creatively check websites, and creatively watch DVDs on planes.

Apple products also come with stickers. Some people put them on their computer, some people put them on windows, but to take it to the pinnacle of whiteness, you need to put the Apple sticker in the rear window of your Prius, Jetta, BMW, Subaru 4WD Station Wagon or Audi. You then need to drive to a local coffee shop (Starbucks will do in a pinch) and set up your apple for the world to see. Thankfully, the Apple logo on the back will light up! So even in a dark place, people can see how unique and creative you (and the five other people doing the exact same thing) truly are

[peter12]

Originally Posted by Thunderball

I laughed when I read through that list... cause that's really a shocking percentage of white people in a nutshell.

I really only fell into maybe a handful of them, like the BA wanting to be Lawyer,and wanting to live near a body of water. However, my Latin blood must cancel out a lot of that stuff... I should probably get a free pass on the Wine one, seeing as we make it (from actual grapes, not kits like white people... )

The whole arts degree/law thing really cracked me up. Just totally busted my self-image to pieces.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by iggypop

broken link?

Seems to be up and down a lot.

[Incinerator]

Originally Posted by Tyler

The author is definitely a Canadian

Like a Canadian or a "Canadian" as them Texans would put it...

[BlackEleven]

Originally Posted by Incinerator

Like a Canadian or a "Canadian" as them Texans would put it...

A double Canadian!

Great site. I also like the bits on wine and beer

Beer
White people don't like stuff that's easy to acquire. Beer is no exception.
They generally try to avoid beers like Budweiser, Labatt's, Molson, Coors, and Heineken because if it's mass produced it is bad. No exceptions.
So when they need a beer, they turn to microbrews who seem to be located almost exclusively in New England, Ontario, Quebec and Colorado. Being able to walk into a bar and order a beer that no one has heard of makes white people feel good about their alcohol drinking palate.

Wine

It is also a good idea to say that your favorite wine is from a small winery called [make up name like 'Spotswood,' 'Red Duck,' Random Spanish name] in [Australia, Argentina, France, California, or Chile] that is hard to get in whatever country you are in. White people will be impressed that they have not heard of this wine and consider you to be a very smart person. They will also make a note to try to find that wine, and when they can't find it, your status will rise even higher.
Wines that are acceptable: Red, White (less so)
Wines that are unacceptable (unless to be consumed in an ironic fashion): White Zinfandel,

[REDVAN]

for some reason the site is forbidden on my computer...

[icarus]

Originally Posted by Cowperson

I have danced to "Church" at a Lyle Lovett concert at Carnegie Hall in New York . . . . . .

Conclusion: I must be black.

You are sooo black.

[Shawnski]

Originally Posted by HOZ

MOD edit: Whoa, a bit much.

LMAO!! Match that to his sig of "My post has been peer reviewed."

Epic... failure....

[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by icarus

Originally Posted by Cowperson
I have danced to "Church" at a Lyle Lovett concert at Carnegie Hall in New York . . . . . .

Conclusion: I must be black.

You are sooo black.

Us black folks love Lyle Lovett. (The Harlem Gospel Choir shared the stage with him in New York): Church with Lyle Lovett

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=zZI0zO2TS1Y

Cowperson

[Wookie]

That link saved my day! I passed alomst the entire day slowly reading through it and fwd'ing it to appropriate people!

[underGRADFlame]

Originally Posted by Tyler

The author is definitely a Canadian

I think the reference to Paul Karyia's dad was the give away.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally Posted by J pold

My Favorite so far!

Beginning in their late teens, white people begin an obsession with finding cool vintage clothing at local thrift shops and Goodwills. Making purchases at these locations address a number of white person needs.

First, it allows them to say “oh, this? I got this shirt at Goodwill for $3.” This statement focuses the attention on the shirt, taking attention away from the $350 jeans and $200 shoes. The white person can then retain that precious ‘indie’ cred.

HA HA! I was just about to make a post about that one! Hilarious!!

[HelloHockeyFans]

LOL... what's the nationality of the creator of this blog?

#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
White people are pretty conflicted about their culture. On one hand, they are proud of the art, literature, and film produced by white culture. But at the same time, they are very ashamed of all the bad things in white culture: the KKK, colonialism, slavery, Jim Crow laws, feudalism, and the treatment of native americans.

One way they can make up for it is becoming marginally acquainted with foreign cultures. It is generally acceptable for a white person to learn a few terms in a language spoken primary by non-whites (such as Chinese, Tagalog or Portuguese). They can then use these phrases to order certain ‘more authentic’ dishes in restaurants.

White people can also take passing interest in film, politics, music or art from these countries. When they actually meet someone from that country, or at least who has parents from that country they cannot wait to engage you in all the details that they have learned.

“Have you heard the new Andy Lau CD? It’s awesome!”

LOL