86 Rules of Boozing

[ResAlien]

This is my favourite magazine, it was started here in Denver. Most of the writers are Hunter Thompson knockoffs, but it's still funny.

This link is the 86 rules of boozing, and as a former bartender I love them. We used to have some of them taped to our bar, to remind some of the cheaper customers of basic rules.

Personal favourite: If you've ever told a bartender "Hey, it all spends the same." Then you are a cheap ass.

Almost all these rules apply to a night of drinking.

Discuss. http://drunkard.com/issues/01-02/01_02_booze_rules.htm

[evman150]

"Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks."

LOL JORDON

[FireFly]

27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.




I think that would be the ultimate. Shows you took the time to think up something sweet. That's my favorite rule.

[burn_this_city]

^^ I was just looking up how to do it..

http://bartendermagic.com/rose.htm

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

^^ I was just looking up how to do it..

http://bartendermagic.com/rose.htm

Anybody who uses that will almost instantly win their way to a woman's heart. So bear that in mind before you go out there breaking hearts.

[burn_this_city]

I'd never do that I was practicing with a kleenex, its not working out so well..


4th try was the charm... I'll have to try it out on my lady friend next time we go for dinner

[Temporary_User]

39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.

I don't understand this one. I mean I often buy my drink, say $6 with a twenty. Typically I get two $5's, a twoonie and two loonies back. I doubt I'm supposed to ask the bartender to keep a loonie or twoonie before handing me back the rest of the change. This is nearly impossible in a loud bar. What I typically do is take it all back, and select the tip out from that. This rule suggests that this is wrong. What should I do?

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by Temporary_User

I don't understand this one. I mean I often buy my drink, say $6 with a twenty. Typically I get two $5's, a twoonie and two loonies back. I doubt I'm supposed to ask the bartender to keep a loonie or twoonie before handing me back the rest of the change. This is nearly impossible in a loud bar. What I typically do is take it all back, and select the tip out from that. This rule suggests that this is wrong. What should I do?

I think that rule applies to the states rather than here.. Your supposed to avoid giving chump change like quarters..

[Julio]

Originally Posted by Temporary_User

I don't understand this one. I mean I often buy my drink, say $6 with a twenty. Typically I get two $5's, a twoonie and two loonies back. I doubt I'm supposed to ask the bartender to keep a loonie or twoonie before handing me back the rest of the change. This is nearly impossible in a loud bar. What I typically do is take it all back, and select the tip out from that. This rule suggests that this is wrong. What should I do?

If you could tell the bartender what you wanted, you could also tell him "make it $7" or "$13 back."

[ResAlien]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

I think that rule applies to the states rather than here.. Your supposed to avoid giving chump change like quarters..

Yes, this applies to the states and .25 etc. loonies and twonies don't apply. I only know that change can bite my backside after it's hit a customer.

[JohnnyB]

Tipping bartenders is usually ######ed. Who deserves a tip for the 10 seconds work it takes to pour a drink. Seriously...
If anything, wait to the end of the night and give a tip on what you've bought throughout the night, but half the time you end up tipping bartenders as much or more than you would a waitress for doing less work and with fewer demands of personal service.

[JD]

Originally Posted by JohnnyB

Tipping bartenders is usually ######ed. Who deserves a tip for the 10 seconds work it takes to pour a drink. Seriously...
If anything, wait to the end of the night and give a tip on what you've bought throughout the night, but half the time you end up tipping bartenders as much or more than you would a waitress for doing less work and with fewer demands of personal service.

You're paying for acknowledgement. Start the night with bigger tips. Then each time you approach the bar, you won't be left standing there for 10 minutes waving your 20 at the bartender every time he goes past you. Like one of the rules says, if you can't afford to tip you can't afford to be drinking at the bar. Drink at home and pour your own drinks if it's so easy. The bartender is there for your convenience.

[Flames89]

Originally Posted by JohnnyB

Tipping bartenders is usually ######ed. Who deserves a tip for the 10 seconds work it takes to pour a drink. Seriously...
If anything, wait to the end of the night and give a tip on what you've bought throughout the night, but half the time you end up tipping bartenders as much or more than you would a waitress for doing less work and with fewer demands of personal service.

Bartenders get paid less than minimum wage. Your tips are also divided to the bus boys, house, bouncers. You pay for the service you want.

My gf is bartending on the side, and if you don't tip, you will be waiting a LONG time to get another drink. Have everything ready, order at once, and give a tip. Easy.

I also like giving the largest tip during the first round. The bartender will remember you after that.

[urban1]

Good advice... tip big early. If you have 20 drinks and tip a buck each time then your better off tipping 10 bucks, 5 bucks, 5 bucks, and then nothing rather than a buck each time. The $1 wont get noticed by the bar tender.

Originally Posted by JD

You're paying for acknowledgement. Start the night with bigger tips. Then each time you approach the bar, you won't be left standing there for 10 minutes waving your 20 at the bartender every time he goes past you. Like one of the rules says, if you can't afford to tip you can't afford to be drinking at the bar. Drink at home and pour your own drinks if it's so easy. The bartender is there for your convenience.

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by Flames89

Bartenders get paid less than minimum wage. Your tips are also divided to the bus boys, house, bouncers. You pay for the service you want.

My gf is bartending on the side, and if you don't tip, you will be waiting a LONG time to get another drink. Have everything ready, order at once, and give a tip. Easy.

I also like giving the largest tip during the first round. The bartender will remember you after that.

Isn't that the point of minimum wage? You can't make less then minimum wage. I used to bartend for quite a few years and never did I make less then minimum wage. I was always above but yes generally as a bartender you are working for tips and do have to split it between the bar porters etc. but don't forget that the waitresses also have to tip you out as well.

Generally, as a rule of thumb, it's about 1% of their total sales for that day. So not only are you making tips from "the wood" but you are also making some off the waitresses as well

As far as tipping goes, I find it harder and harder to leave a good tip at a bar when I'm already paying $15 cover and $7 per beer

[urban1]

How about the bartenders who dont even give you change back?

In Alberta i dont believe theres an exception for tipped employees but in some jurisdictions, minimum wage doesnt apply to tipped employees.

Originally Posted by return to the red

Isn't that the point of minimum wage? You can't make less then minimum wage.


As far as tipping goes, I find it harder and harder to leave a good tip at a bar when I'm already paying $15 cover and $7 per beer

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by urban1

How about the bartenders who dont even give you change back?

In Alberta i dont believe theres an exception for tipped employees but in some jurisdictions, minimum wage doesnt apply to tipped employees.

now that just pisses me off. If a waitress, tub tart or bartender doesn't even offer me the change or I don't say keep the change then said person is going to get less of a tip then I was originally planning. I had it one time where I bought 4 beers @ $7 each so I give the girl a fifty and she just stands there looking at me. After about 10 akward seconds she looks at me and says "oh, do you need change back?" Hell yah I want my change, I'm not tipping you $22 on 4 beer, of course I didn't say this.

The dumbest thing she did though came when she gave me a twenty and a twoonie. Which one do you think I told her to keep

[Julio]

Service staff not giving the change back is a particular hate of mine. Tub tarts are definitely the worst for that. If I get dragged out to the type of place that has them, I'll bring out a mess of loons just so they don't get the opportunity to get a quyick $3 or so for opening a beer.

[troutman]

Cut out the middle-men. Make your own beer and wine. Drink it.

[Rhettzky]

Originally Posted by troutman

Cut out the middle-men. Make your own beer and wine. Drink it.

It might be good to note that this is not allowed in most licensed establishments.