How do I get out of the "Friend Zone?" Help!!!

[Locke]

When it all seemed to fall apart, I gotta ask....

Did you whip out the junk? That would've been money in the bank I tells ya.

Sure, you'd never be allowed back in that establishment, but you'd be a legend.

[arloiginla]

Originally Posted by Locke

When it all seemed to fall apart, I gotta ask....

Did you whip out the junk? That would've been money in the bank I tells ya.

Sure, you'd never be allowed back in that establishment, but you'd be a legend.

I couldn't do that, I like the ribs at Montana's too much

[Inferno]

Atleast you got a straight answer from yours right away. I got the "for now" line when I asked her if I was stuck in the friend zone, then we made out one night, then she starts talking relationship, then she tells me to give her time to clear her head, then a couple days after New Years she tells me she's decided to go out with her screwed in the head 34 year old who looks like he's pushing 50 ex-roommate.

Had all that not happened maybe our friendship could have been saved. I told her when I ended it that it might not be forever but I look at her in a completely different way now. That trust we had just isn't there anymore. I really don't know even if she does come to her senses and breaks things off with this guy that we can repair what we had. I do know though I don't look her in a romantic way anymore. She's got too many issues and I don't need that in a girlfriend.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by arloiginla

So I took her out for dinner and basically had a very long conversation, which I eventually turned to the topic on my brain and flat out asked her out, this time on a "real" date. She was somewhat amused and flattered at the invitation, and took it quite well before simply declining, saying she just didn't think of me that way, that were too good friends and had known each other too long, finishing it off with a "even though you are dead sexy."

Attention single CPers

(male or female)

[4X4]

Originally Posted by arloiginla

And I don't feel disappointed at all, no regrets, just like a million bucks for acting on my feelings and also taking a potential disaster situation, and basically coming out of it having done what I needed to do, and not harmed or hurt a relationship in any way. And I've moved on and have no lingering feelings, though the next time I take her to a hockey game I'll be sure to get her drunk anyway

Thanks CPers for all the advice, much appreciated and all the laughs too

Now if you still want to hang with her, don't go ruining it by constantly hitting on her or making her uncomfortable when she tosses you a compliment by saying something like "I could be all yours...".
Handle it gracefully and you'll be good friends. She may even start to like you which will inevitably be too late, as you'll have moved on. Then you'll have the last laugh.

[CaptainCrunch]

So she turns you down, tells you she's not interested and then calls you dead sexy so you'll continue to hang around her like a mentally handicapped puppy seeking affection.

I can't be the only one that see's an issue with them can I.


She sounds like a horrible person to me.

Get rid of her and move on.

[arloiginla]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

So she turns you down, tells you she's not interested and then calls you dead sexy so you'll continue to hang around her like a mentally handicapped puppy seeking affection.

I can't be the only one that see's an issue with them can I.


She sounds like a horrible person to me.

Get rid of her and move on.

Thanks for the refreshing angle

[Hakan]

The "dead sexy" line is a dead giveaway that she wants you to still hang around for attention.

Now that you've laid it all on the table your next move is to just back off for a good month or so and see what she does. Dollars to donuts she'll call you asking where you've been and saying she misses you.

THAT'S when you go in for the kill.

[arloiginla]

Originally Posted by Hakan

The "dead sexy" line is a dead giveaway that she wants you to still hang around for attention.

Now that you've laid it all on the table your next move is to just back off for a good month or so and see what she does. Dollars to donuts she'll call you asking where you've been and saying she misses you.

THAT'S when you go in for the kill.

Nah, its good in theory but I'm done. I refuse to be the begging puppy dog. The dead sexy line seemed to be more of a trying-to-make-me-feel-better idea if anything (not that i needed the confidence boost, but if she hasn't had ulterior motives in the past 4 years why would she get them now.

If she comes back and shows interest, then I get to say no, mean it, and laugh all the way to the revenge bank.

[Muta]

Originally Posted by arloiginla

Nah, its good in theory but I'm done. I refuse to be the begging puppy dog. The dead sexy line seemed to be more of a trying-to-make-me-feel-better idea if anything (not that i needed the confidence boost, but if she hasn't had ulterior motives in the past 4 years why would she get them now.

If she comes back and shows interest, then I get to say no, mean it, and laugh all the way to the revenge bank.

Atta boy!! Exactly what I'd do

[4X4]

Originally Posted by arloiginla

Nah, its good in theory but I'm done. I refuse to be the begging puppy dog. The dead sexy line seemed to be more of a trying-to-make-me-feel-better idea if anything (not that i needed the confidence boost, but if she hasn't had ulterior motives in the past 4 years why would she get them now.

If she comes back and shows interest, then I get to say no, mean it, and laugh all the way to the revenge bank.

Good show. No need to assume that she's screwing with your mind. Hell, all girls (and guys, for that matter) have an underlying need to feel attractive. She loves the fact that you find her attractive, and wants you to know that you're no slouch.

It'd be a little more alarming if she did this consistantly, but really, from what you've said, she did it in response to your advancements. Of course it strokes her ego that you have shown interest in her, but if she was a real bitch, she'd have milked it. From what I can tell, she didn't. So take that as a compliment.
One day you'll be in the uncomfortable situation of having to turn someone down. Here's hoping that you handle it gracefully.

[zukes]

When she said no, you should have whipped it out and said, "are you sure?"

Seriously, looks like you and she handled it in the best way possible. Good luck on continued friendship.

[Agamemnon]

Originally Posted by arloiginla

Nah, its good in theory but I'm done. I refuse to be the begging puppy dog. The dead sexy line seemed to be more of a trying-to-make-me-feel-better idea if anything (not that i needed the confidence boost, but if she hasn't had ulterior motives in the past 4 years why would she get them now.

If she comes back and shows interest, then I get to say no, mean it, and laugh all the way to the revenge bank.

I don't think the point is that she's subtely interested in you, I think the point is she may hang out with you (and flirt with you) for attention, not because she wants to get in a relationship with you. Lots of women have their 'best friend' guy friends to give them the emotional crap their boyfriends don't give them, ie. listen to every inane thought in their head.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by zukes

When she said no, you should have whipped it out and said, "are you sure?"

What?! Why that would be the worst thing you could do

That has “begging puppy dog" written all over it

*THINGS TO NEVER ASK GIRLS*

“Are you sure?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Is everything alright?”

EDIT: Upon further review of your post I detect a sense of sarcasm

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Originally Posted by zukes

When she said no, you should have whipped it out and said, "are you sure?"

I like where you started with this, but the finish is a little lacking.

Something along the lines of: (after whipping it out)
"You're loss"
or
"Guess I'll just have to give this to your sister then"
or
"Allow me to demonstrate why I feel you've just made a bad decision"

[Ozy_Flame]

I write men's lifestyle articles on the sides. I provide advice on how to score with women, and the most frequent comment I get on my articles is "YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST WHIPPED IT OUT!"

I've never actually done that just for the hell of it, but I'm guessing alot...and I mean ALOT...of guys actually do it lol...

[Russic]

Originally Posted by arloiginla

Nah, its good in theory but I'm done. I refuse to be the begging puppy dog. The dead sexy line seemed to be more of a trying-to-make-me-feel-better idea if anything (not that i needed the confidence boost, but if she hasn't had ulterior motives in the past 4 years why would she get them now.

If she comes back and shows interest, then I get to say no, mean it, and laugh all the way to the revenge bank.

Give yourself a pat on the back and say "hey . . . that's from Russic"

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

I write men's lifestyle articles on the sides. I provide advice on how to score with women, and the most frequent comment I get on my articles is "YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST WHIPPED IT OUT!"

I've never actually done that just for the hell of it, but I'm guessing alot...and I mean ALOT...of guys actually do it lol...

I was just thinking the same, reading many of the responses I'm suprised I don't go out for supper and see a guy laying his member out every time

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by return to the red

I was just thinking the same, reading many of the responses I'm suprised I don't go out for supper and see a guy laying his member out every time

It's probably because those who've tried this technique have all been laughed at in public. I mean really, do you think I'd get all hot and bothered by a limp dick? I've only ever seen one that made me think "I bet that's huge when erect".

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by FireFly

It's probably because those who've tried this technique have all been laughed at in public. I mean really, do you think I'd get all hot and bothered by a limp dick? I've only ever seen one that made me think "I bet that's huge when erect".

been spying on me again eh