Erin Burnett - 8 Ways to Impress Me

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Wow, I'd like to make my own list of ways to impress me

1) Have some game:
I love sports, box seats to the Flames, and Stampeders would be nice.
Oh, also have a box in every city with a professional team, just in case I want to go on a road trip

2) Go fast or go home:
I love cars, especially fast ones. Buy me a Ferrari, that would be awesome.

3) Help me work out:
I need to lose a few pounds. To show how much you care, you should hire Jarome Iginla to help me work out.

4) Do something nice for my parents:
Family is important. My folks could really use a retirement home in Florida. Oh and one in Phoenix too, we wouldn't want them to get board would we.

5) Cook for me:
Actually, screw that, you'd probably screw that up, so why not just hire the Iron Chefs to be on standby. There's 4 of them, so they'd be able to cater to me 7 days a week, and they could still take some vacation time.

6) Encourage me at work:
I've always wanted to be the CEO of a multinational company. Go ahead and buy a majority share of some company (Google sounds like it would be fun to work at), and install me as the new CEO. That would show that you love me, and recognize that my career is important to me.

See, I'm much easier to please than this chick. I only have 6 simple requests.

[REDVAN]

Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz

Wow, I'd like to make my own list of ways to impress me

1) Have some game:
I love sports, box seats to the Flames, and Stampeders would be nice.
Oh, also have a box in every city with a professional team, just in case I want to go on a road trip

2) Go fast or go home:
I love cars, especially fast ones. Buy me a Ferrari, that would be awesome.

3) Help me work out:
I need to lose a few pounds. To show how much you care, you should hire Jarome Iginla to help me work out.

4) Do something nice for my parents:
Family is important. My folks could really use a retirement home in Florida. Oh and one in Phoenix too, we wouldn't want them to get board would we.

5) Cook for me:
Actually, screw that, you'd probably screw that up, so why not just hire the Iron Chefs to be on standby. There's 4 of them, so they'd be able to cater to me 7 days a week, and they could still take some vacation time.

6) Encourage me at work:
I've always wanted to be the CEO of a multinational company. Go ahead and buy a majority share of some company (Google sounds like it would be fun to work at), and install me as the new CEO. That would show that you love me, and recognize that my career is important to me.

See, I'm much easier to please than this chick. I only have 6 simple requests.

AMEN to that brother!

[burn_this_city]

The comments at the bottom of the article are hilarious.. I don't know if she meant this to be tongue and cheek or not, but it came across like a spoiled princess wish list..

[Ayrahb]

I for one am glad she said all that. It's annoying to read all those advice columns that say women want a sensitive, romantic, and a caring man.

That's all great--I am really sure you ladies want that too--but my 19 years of dating tell me that the ability to attract (and sometimes keep) females is proportional to the man's earning and providing potential.

[Thunderball]

So much for the Women's Liberation Movement.

All I read in that is "treat me like a princess", "take care of me", "spend money on me", and "pay me to love you."

What happened to the independent woman that wants to take care of herself and doesn't need a man to provide for her? Women like that make me sick.

If she actually believed in equality, then she should be prepared to send my parents on trips, hire Alessandro Del Piero to be my Personal Trainer/Football Coach, buy me DVDs, hire me a Personal Chef, and send me and the boys to Las Vegas and slip me several hundred dollars money for hookers, booze and gambling.

Selfish Pseudo-Prostitute women make me sick. Most women have a selfish streak in them (most men do too)... but the good ones keep it restrained to a degree where its tolerable. I mean, don't they realize men get screwed in the financial trade-off... I mean, we go buy them several thousand dollar engagement rings, and we get... the pleasure of their company. We accept that as fair. Don't push it.

[Got Miikka?]

Wow, is this article for real?

Hope you like staring at that ticker, bitch.

[RougeUnderoos]

This whole thing reminds me of

http://www.p2pforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=31376

Long story short, ome gal posted this (and more) on Craigslist:

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the
: bush. I'm a beautiful
: (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old
: girl. I'm articulate and classy.
: I'm not from New York. I'm looking to
: get married to a guy who makes at
: least half a million a year. I know how
: that sounds, but keep in mind
: that a million a year is middle class
: in New York City, so I don't think
: I'm overreaching at all...

And got a response from some rich guy

Your offer, from the prospective of a
: guy like me, is plain and simple a
: cr@ppy business deal. Here's why.
: Cutting through all the B.S., what you
: suggest is a simple trade: you bring
: your looks to the party and I bring
: my money. Fine, simple. But here's the
: rub, your looks will fade and my
: money will likely continue into
: perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
: that my income increases but it is an
: absolute certainty that you won't
: be getting any more beautiful!
:
: So, in economic terms you are a
: depreciating asset and I am an earning
: asset...

It goes on quite a bit. Funny stuff.

[4X4]

^^yeah, I read that too. Fotze must've also, the way he referred to her as a commodity in post 12.

[Flashpoint]

1) Show up naked.

2) Bring food.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Flashpoint

1) Show up naked.

2) Bring food.

3) Doggystyle so we can both watch HNIC.

[CaptainCrunch]

There's always negotiations. She'd better be willing to sweeten the deal with her sisters, a maid outfit and some blow, and not just once.

Then we'll talk

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Remind me never to date Erin Burnett. Tough to please. Private yoga instructors? Round trip business class tickets for her parents from down under?
So much for make her dinner, rent a movie and bang the crap out of her...

Not all of us are like that. That sounds like a wonderful evening to me.

[RougeUnderoos]

I hate to say it, but she really is a knock-out. And probably the "hottest commodity" on Wall Street. I'm sure all them traders and analysts and whatnot would love a shot at her, and I doubt that list of stuff she wants sounds like a lot of money to them.

The one thing though -- sending over and paying for private yoga instructions? Come on. A couple "private sessions" with Mario, his ponytail and his hot rippling flesh and suddenly the sagging desk jockey ain't so hot. Soon enough, Mario is teaching her the "Upward Facing Dink" position and it's all over.

[Flashpoint]

Originally Posted by fotze

The crudest post Rouge has ever posted.

Truly heinous.

Truly.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

but keep in mind
: that a million a year is middle class
: in New York City, so I don't think
: I'm overreaching at all...

dammit, i must've missed an exit. i'm clearly in the wrong new york.

knowing the ######s on wall street, this girl is going to get exactly what she deserves....

[icarus]

I can think of 8 ways for her to impress me but I don't want to get banned...

[Cowperson]

CNBC suits unimpressed with their Money Honey, Erin Burnett.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/01102008...rin_998217.htm

Some people need a sense of humour. Or they need bigger . . . . . wallets.

Cowperson

[burnin_vernon]

Originally Posted by The Goon

I'd rather try to impress Carol Burnett.

I almost spit water on my monitor

[REDVAN]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

... teaching her the "Upward Facing Dink" position and it's all over.

I have nothing witty to say, I just wanted to say this:

[comrade]

Never mind all of the trips, how the hell do you recruit a bunch of pulitzer prize winning authors to hang out with your girlfriend? That would probably cost more than all of the others combined. Also, why would said authors want to hang around with a news anchor?