I hate to be this blunt but, my opinon? Don't bother. You have been friends for waaaaaaay to long. She has shown no interest in that time, if she changed her mind odds are you would know by now. I'm not saying it's impossible but the odds are HEAVILY stacked against you.
I would put this into the same "is it possible colum?" as picking up a waitress or stripper.
If you're anything like me, you'll make your move regardless of the outcome and then if it fails you will realize later on that you aren't even that attracted to her anymore, and then later still she'll come after you and you'll be like, "T.S., b*tch!" - or you can revenge bang her and never call her again.
You sir, are a gentleman. Which finishing school did you attend?
It's possible that she may want more, but the way you have seemingly really stressed that she has no interest in you romantically, I think you may already know what her response to you will be. But if you really need or want to pursue the issue, I would suggest using BBShantz' advice. Be up front about it. But make sure you really are ready to risk the loss of the friendship for it, because that just might happen.
At 12, kiss her the way you've been wanting to kiss her. She'll either take it in stride or reciprocate. If she merely takes it in stride, you've got the advantage of blaming it on alcohol. If she reciprocates, make it clear that it wasn't the alcohol.
I highly recommend against drunken confessions of love. I was chilling with a couple female friends on sunday and somehow that exact topic came up. Their concensus was that it screws up the friendship afterward, and it is extremely difficult to let the person down nicely.
If you do do it, just make sure not to push the issue. If you tell her that you're in love with her and that you want to marry her, she'll run faster than Ben Johnson after a homemade cocktail.'
If you tell her you're attracted to her in a new way, maybe she'll be interested. If she isn't, don't spend the rest of the night trying to convince her. Just drop it.
Well glad to see you like the New Years idea,
but as for the other part, I'm not sayin like confess your love, that's never a good move.
I'm more going on when you're drunk or whatever you can have the conversation of. "What's the deal with us? Ya know? We're like best friends, and stuff."
We've all had that conversation once. Unforutanteley I had it with the mirror recently, so it ended in a fight about interrupting...
I usually don't condone lying, so I'm going to suggest witholding the entire truth. Instead of saying that you've been horny over her for years, tell her that the last couple of weeks have been fun times and you think it is starting to make you like her in a new way.
It's just got to be sooo creepy for someone to profess their love after a long time. Besides that, it puts the recipiant between a rock and a hard place. They have to avoid hurting your feelings and still tell you that they aren't interested. And know full well that that will permanently kill the friendship, or at least alter it dramatically.
Location: Close enough to make a beer run during a TV timeout
Exp:
To further the "take her on a real date" idea, take her out for her birthday. Somewhere nice, and pull out all the stops.
She'll agree to a "real date" type of thing for her birthday; just phrase it as "I want to take you somewhere nice, because no matter what kind of crap I'm going through, you have always been there for me."
The Friend Zone is a great place to be if both people have no desire to step outside of its boundaries. There is no leaving The Friend Zone once one has entered.
The chances of getting out of the friendship zone are about 1 in 100000. Once she starts seeing you as a brother figure or worse yet, the gay friend figure (even though your not) she sees you as a venting post. Oh sure its great when she shows up at your house at 2 in the morning to cry on your shoulder about how mean her boyfriend is, but just try making a move. Your the perfect friend when its time for her to move that new piano up to the top floor of her three story condo with no elevator, and your a god send when the fan belt breaks, but don't read anything into it when she says "Your so great, what would I do without you" Then she plants the granny kiss on your cheek, and then hops on the back of her boyfriends motocycle as he takes her out to a romatic dinner at Arby's.
Face it, she's probably told you her deepest and darkest secrets, feigned interest when she needs a loan, or a designated driver, and your certainly convienient when she needs a date for her one eyed 300 pound triple amputee friend who refuses to clean up her unibrow.
I bet you guys go out for coffee, during the day, thats awesome because she gets a free coffee and her evenings free for that boyfriend or date that she'll be eventually whine about to you.
Or she'll ask you for advice when your drinking like "I really think I'm ready to sleep with him, do you think I should". No I think you should do me because of all of the fanbelt fixing, coffee buying, advice giving shoulder crying on, dating her ugly friend "with a good personality" hell you've put me through. Oh wait she see's you like a brother.
Forget it, its not worth the effort, go find a fish that doesn't see you as a dependable reliable guy. because she wants the unatainable. She wants a scumbag who deep down is a nice guy, that she can change and mold into a cardigan wearing, neatly groomed momma's boy that she can take home to mommy and daddy.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
It's possible that she may want more, but the way you have seemingly really stressed that she has no interest in you romantically, I think you may already know what her response to you will be. But if you really need or want to pursue the issue, I would suggest using BBShantz' advice. Be up front about it. But make sure you really are ready to risk the loss of the friendship for it, because that just might happen.
Baah, ya right. What do you know about how girls feel?
To further the "take her on a real date" idea, take her out for her birthday. Somewhere nice, and pull out all the stops.
She'll agree to a "real date" type of thing for her birthday; just phrase it as "I want to take you somewhere nice, because no matter what kind of crap I'm going through, you have always been there for me."
I find that sneakery is the best way to get dates, but usually it doesn't turn into much.
My opinion is that you're gonna have to be super sneaky because you've known her for so long. Until you can talk to her about it without being hurt if she says no, then I would advise against talking to her because you'll just end up in a really bad place if she denies you.
Location: In my office, at the Ministry of Awesome!
Exp:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eastern Girl
It's possible that she may want more, but the way you have seemingly really stressed that she has no interest in you romantically, I think you may already know what her response to you will be. But if you really need or want to pursue the issue, I would suggest using BBShantz' advice. Be up front about it. But make sure you really are ready to risk the loss of the friendship for it, because that just might happen.
Sweet, Female endorsment of my advice!
I am officialy THE MAN!
__________________
THE SHANTZ WILL RISE AGAIN. <-----Check the Badge bitches. You want some Awesome, you come to me!
I think you have to man up and make it abundantly clear that you are interested in more. Get drunk with her and make a move. Don't worry if it makes you look stupid or like an a hole . Actually its a good thing if you become a bit of an a hole in her eyes. That's what guys are supposed to be. Its sad but true but girls are attracted to a bit of beligerence (don't go over the top with it though). Don't worry about the friendship. Obviously you are interested in more than a friendship. If it doesn't work romantically, and it ruins the friendship, go out and meet some new girls. This will also be a good thing as she might start to realize that she missed out. Do whatever you can to get out of the "friend zone". A hetero sexual male has no place being in that zone, it is the most futile place to be unless you actually have no romantic interest in a girl. And even if thats the case, don't be too much of a friend to her, or all her girl friends will think of you that way too.
__________________
A few weeks after crashing head-first into the boards (denting his helmet and being unable to move for a little while) following a hit from behind by Bob Errey, the Calgary Flames player explains:
"I was like Christ, lying on my back, with my arms outstretched, crucified"
-- Frank Musil - Early January 1994
I wonder if Brad Pitt ever found himself in the friend zone aka the you are good looking enough for me to be a friend with, but not good looking enough to f#$% zone.
He probably NEXT's them. Either that or the cash is always an allure.
I really think the OP should try the Shark Attack 3 line and flame out gloriously... Jumping from the friends ladder to the potentials ladder is usually met with the descent into the void.
__________________
Tacitus: Rara temporum felicitate, ubi sentire quae velis, et quae sentias dicere licet.
Why ruin a good friendship? If it turns romantic, odds are it ultimately won't work out in the long run (most relationships fail). Then, you can't be friends anymore.
<-----Check the Badge bitches. You want some Awesome, you come to me!
