Favorite Arrested Development Quotes!

[J pold]

Not sure how many people every actually watched this show, but it has some hilarious quotes

To start us off:

Michael: So .. this is the magic trick, huh?
Gob: "Illusion," Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money
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Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire!
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Narrator: And so the family staged an intervention.
Michael: I’m sorry, what exactly is this intervention for?
Lucille: We need you to come back and run the business.
Michael: Oh, okay. Well, then, so, technically it’s not really an intervention. It’s a little bit more of an imposition, if you think about it.
Lindsay: Oh, whatever you want to call it.
Michael: I’d love to call it an imposition.
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Gob's Wife: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Gob's Wife: No, your sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? Michael!
Gob's Wife: No, that's your sister's brother.
Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. You're in love with me - me.
Gob's Wife: I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Gob's Wife: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother ..
Gob's Wife: No!

[Staypuft]

This is reason #1 why I still check my facebook, because of my "Arrested Development Quote" application.

By far my favourite quote:

Barry Zuckerkorn: So basically you're about 2,000 shares short of being the majority stock holders. Now unfortunately it's a private stock so you can not just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell
Michael: Are you sure?
Barry Zuckerkorn: That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves'

[foofighter15]

I don't remember it perfectly but
Micheal: Its like we can finish each others...
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Micheal: No, I was going to say sentences. Why would I say
Lindsay: Sandwiches
-----
Black Gay Cop: We did an artificial insemination.
White Gay Cop: We don't know who the real father is, and don't want to.

[Barnes]

There's money in the banana stand.

NO TOUCHING!

Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Michael: Really? When did that start?

Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.

Tobias:


(While covered in blue paint, a la The Blue Man Group: "I'm afraid I just blue myself."

Tobias: "You know, Mother Lucille, there's a psychological concept known as denial that I think you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it."
Lucille: "You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent."
Tobias: "Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her."

"Well, yes, but I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands."

"I suppose I'm, uh ... buy-curious."

"I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks."

"I'll be your wingman. Even it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up."

"Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time."

"No, no, no, no. I was scared too, but I realized it was of being a leading man. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth."

[kermitology]

Do these effectively hide my thunder?

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Oscar Bluth: "I think I'll put it in her brownie."

George Michael Bluth: "I have Pop Pop in the attic."
Michael Bluth: "The mere fact that you call making love 'Pop Pop' tells me that you're not ready"

Tobias Funke: "Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. "

Michael Bluth (to GOB): "Get rid of the Seaward."
Lucille Bluth: "I'll leave when I'm good and ready!"

Prison Guard's daughter: "NO TOUCHING!"

Barry Zuckerkorn: "Those are balls."

[Burninator]

I hear the jury is still out on science.

[kermitology]

Originally Posted by GreenTeaFrapp

Barry Zuckerkorn: "Those are balls."

The way he says that makes me cry with laughter.

[HalifaxDrunk]

Tobias has some of the best lines.


Tobias: [as Mrs. Featherbottom] O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Right, I forgot, here in the States, you call it a "sausage in the mouth".
Michael: We just call it a sausage.
***
Tobias: [Tobias trying on a Speedo over his cut-off jeans on] Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?
***
Tobias: Dont leave your uncle teabag hanging.
George-Michael: Dont call it that.
***
Tobias: So what are your plans for this evening?
Bob Loblaw: I thought that maybe I would stay in and work on my law blog.
Tobias: Ah, yes. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog". You, sir, are a mouthful.
***
[Tobias painted himself blue for the Blueman Group]
Tobias: I blue myself.
Michael: There has got to be a better way to say that.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by HalifaxDrunk

Tobias: So what are your plans for this evening?
Bob Loblaw: I thought that maybe I would stay in and work on my law blog.
Tobias: Ah, yes. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog". You, sir, are a mouthful.

That makes me laugh everytime....

[foofighter15]

Mister F.

[arsenal]

Or when Tobias got the business cards made up. He was the first Therapist, Analyst, or better yet "anal-rapist".

So many good quotes from that show.

[foofighter15]

Originally Posted by arsenal

Or when Tobias got the business cards made up. He was the first Therapist, Analyst, or better yet "anal-rapist".

So many good quotes from that show.

and so many inside jokes as well.

[ricoFlame]

the whole afternoon delight - maybe i'll put it in her brownie thing cracks me up every time.

[blankall]

The man in the <insert random number her> dollar suit..CMON!

[Matata]

Tobias: Why are you afraid of sex George Micheal?
GM: what? I'm not afraid of sex
Tobias: Then why don't you have some sex with this girl right now? C'mon, have some sex with her, lets go...thats what I thought.

not word for word, but you get the point.

[fredr123]

Originally Posted by Locke

That makes me laugh everytime....

x2

[Staypuft]

The best part of Arrested Development is it's so much funnier when you watch it the second time around and catch all the foreshadowing.

Such genius.

[LIP MAN]

Michael: So .. this is the magic trick, huh?
Gob: "Illusion," Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money

you forgot to add him looking over at the group of kids and...
Gob: "...or cocaine..."

[GreenHardHat]

I miss that show!!