Childfree

[fredr123]

Originally Posted by Dion

Being a volunteer in a nursing home i get to see the negatives of being child free. Lots of seniors stuck in rooms who are sad and lonely as they have no family to come and visit them. If it comes to that i hope i'm dead and six feet under.

As has become abundantly clear, anyone wanting to remain childfree should refrain from spending any length of time in a nursing home.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by fredr123

As has become abundantly clear, anyone wanting to remain childfree should refrain from spending any length of time in a nursing home.

Heh heh...


Anyway, I aim to retire in a villa somewhere in europe, so chances are any family I have or would have had would be far away.
No nursing homes for me... I'll die crazy and naked in my own home, TYVM.

[fredr123]

I have a hard time imagining life without my daughter. Actually, that's not true. It's pretty easy to imagine my life without my daughter. It would be full of travel, new cars, sophisticated cocktail parties and other shenanigans. The world would be my oyster and I would be able to afford all the gadgets and gizmos I've always wanted.

If those are the kinds of things that appeal to you, then by all means consider the childfree life. Personally, I've experienced so much joy and discovered an entirely new level of happiness since becoming a father. It's been incredibly rewarding and I don't regret it for a second.

I would be interested to hear a female perspective on this. Men (I'm guessing most posters on here are dudes, no offense Firefly) can live like a kid until age 40 and beyond but still have time to have a change of heart. Kids are possible way later into life for men. See King, Larry.

[Muta]

I'm 24, and I see others my age that I grew up with having babies or children or whatever. That's not for me man, I can't even hold down a long-term relationship let alone having anklebiters scream and cry and cause my wallet to go from fat to thin to non-existent. I get bored easily and move on, and as crass as that sounds regarding relationships, it's true, so I'm not going to hide it.

Ok, that's a bit dramatic, but you get the point. I get the occasional jab from the grandparent or aunts / uncles or stuff saying, 'when are you going to stop traveling / having fun and get serious about your career and start a family oneday?' I just dismiss it. Ironically enough, it's my parents telling me to go travel, experience new things, continue with a higher education and become the next Bill Gates, not to settle down at all. At 24, I don't feel any need to commit to something so not-in-my-mindset right now. I couldn't fathom the thought of having kids, too much stuff to do and see and experience. Maybe one day, but not right now. I know more single mothers right now than I want to know, and people who may have jumped into the child commitment too early, so if I do it oneday, it's gotta be done right; without hesitation whatsoever and in the completely right frame of mind.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by fredr123

As has become abundantly clear, anyone wanting to remain childfree should refrain from spending any length of time in a nursing home.

###! I recently gave up my voulnteer position as it got too depressing.

[tete]

Originally Posted by fredr123

I would be interested to hear a female perspective on this. Men (I'm guessing most posters on here are dudes, no offense Firefly) can live like a kid until age 40 and beyond but still have time to have a change of heart. Kids are possible way later into life for men. See King, Larry.

I'll throw in my two cents from a married female perspective. Right now, at a week and a half short of my 31st birthday, I want kids. I get giddy when I get to hold a baby, go ga-ga over baby stuff. I already know what stroller I'll buy my child. However, I've got timelines - I don't want to be 40 and having my first child. I just don't want to be in my 60's and still having dependent children. If we don't have kids by the time I'm 35, I'm throwing in the towel and we'll be childfree. Will I change my mind if 35 is looming and we don't have kids? I don't know.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by tete

However, I've got timelines - I don't want to be 40 and having my first child. I just don't want to be in my 60's and still having dependent children. If we don't have kids by the time I'm 35, I'm throwing in the towel and we'll be childfree. Will I change my mind if 35 is looming and we don't have kids? I don't know.

I'll preface this by saying that there really is no polite way to ask the following question...

The 35 thing... Are you saying that you're trying, but it hasn't happend yet, or that you're just letting evolution (or god) decide when you get pregnant? Or are you saying that you're waiting until your mind is firmly made up to start trying?

[Ozy_Flame]

I'll admit it too - maybe one day when I feel like I've reached a pinnacle in my life, then I'll settle down and have kids. I project that to be somewhere between 35-45. I don't want to settle down too early, I want to know I am in the career I definitely WANT to be in, and to be financially secure.

But as for now, if I want to deal with spit-up, poop, crying, late-night feedings, and constant attention, then I'll just get a dog. At least you don't have to buy clothes, and they can eat grass for dinner.

[zukes]

30, wife is 25 and we have a 6 month old. I wanted to wait a little longer. We've been married 2.5 years, and I wanted to accumulate a little more wealth first, but she convinced me to have one sooner and it has been the besst thing ever. I hear it just get sbetter from here. Already, my son

<--------------

is a sponge and listens to everything I say, but it'll be really fun when he can put what I say to some kind of use.

[Sylvanfan]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

But as for now, if I want to deal with spit-up, poop, crying, late-night feedings, and constant attention, then I'll just get a dog. At least you don't have to buy clothes, and they can eat grass for dinner.

Although...the counter arguement is...eventually you can teach your kids to be somewhat self dependent....you'll always have to feed your dog and pick up it's crap! But yeah, pets have a quicker learning curve...my first dog had me up in the middle of the night for the first 4 months or so having to be let outside and it was a year until he learned to sleep in. Second dog was about 2 months and would sleep in at 6 months. I will admit that I do use my dogs as a tool to project what my wife, may or may not do with kids though...she won't go out in the back yard and pick up crap, and always tries to make me clean up any puke in the house.....So if we have kids...how is that going to work....probalby the same me thinks.

[Ozy_Flame]

Oh I just want to throw in here too that, when i DO think about having kids, I'm more and more leaning towards adoption from a different country. I feel that there is something very rewarding in giving a child a second chance, being the savior that so many of them need. Yes it sounds a little corny, and probably reeks of Brad-gelina undertones, but when so many kids having nothing to live for, I say use the life we were blessed with here in Canada to help out.

My resolve on this issue gets stronger the more I think about it.

[Tron_fdc]

Yeah, but if you're dog is disobedient you can beat it, and if it really drives you insane just give the thing away. Try doing that with kids.......I should know, my parents tried both on me and I still was able to stick around.

[Salt Water Cowboy #10]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

Yeah, but if you're dog is disobedient you can beat it, and if it really drives you insane just give the thing away. Try doing that with kids.......I should know, my parents tried both on me and I still was able to stick around.

I'd try and give you away too, just for some of the "ideas" you come up with alone.

I hear having kids makes you grow up. But who really wants to do that anyway

[Sylvanfan]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

Yeah, but if you're dog is disobedient you can beat it, and if it really drives you insane just give the thing away. Try doing that with kids.......I should know, my parents tried both on me and I still was able to stick around.

Well I suppose I can't deny that it's highly unlikely my dog ends up in a sniper tower screaming "It was my master that made me this way forgetting to walk me and all, now you're all going to pay!"

[tete]

Originally Posted by 4X4

I'll preface this by saying that there really is no polite way to ask the following question...

The 35 thing... Are you saying that you're trying, but it hasn't happend yet, or that you're just letting evolution (or god) decide when you get pregnant? Or are you saying that you're waiting until your mind is firmly made up to start trying?

Trying and nothing has happened yet. So we'll keep trying for a while, but I'm not going to try forever.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

Oh I just want to throw in here too that, when i DO think about having kids, I'm more and more leaning towards adoption from a different country. I feel that there is something very rewarding in giving a child a second chance, being the savior that so many of them need. Yes it sounds a little corny, and probably reeks of Brad-gelina undertones, but when so many kids having nothing to live for, I say use the life we were blessed with here in Canada to help out.

My resolve on this issue gets stronger the more I think about it.

I seriously had to stop and wonder why you misspelled 'Martin' with 'Brad'.


But you make a spectacular point. What a great idea. If I ever want kids I can look into adoption. Never even thought about it.

[ZDogg]

I'm 28. Have always wanted children but never wanted to be an old parent. Always figured i would have some children before I was 25 but that has never panned out.

My most recent relationship didn't work out which I attribute to the growing pressures of getting married and having children. Over time she realized she didn't want to spend her years looking after a kid and would rather travel, party and be lazy. This created a rift between us which became to large to cover.

I still hold out hope to have kids some day but need to find the right person. With that being said I am about to embark on my first vacation while single... if I have too much fun I may change my entre perspective on life.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Kids are for fags.

+1

[SportsJunky]

Bah, we have been trying for two years and so far nothing. My wife's baby fever has now been spread to me and every month we cross our fingers. We have done some tests and it looks like invitro fertilization is on our horizon. Doc says it runs about $10,000 per attempt and that gets you a 50/50 shot at pregnancy(best success rate of any clinic in the country). Weird...I never thought I would want it so much.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Oh, I also wanted to add that my parents are starting to bug me a bit about having no desire to get married or have kids. It's pretty annoying.

I hear that loud and clear.

It's not that I have high standards, I have my own qualities that I look for. A friend of mine once said to me "the reason you have trouble is because you won't settle for anything less than the best, and most of the time those girls are already gone."

That being said I'm content being single. I can do what I want, go where I want, and take time to spend with family and volunteer. If the right girl comes along, cool I can shift those priorities.

Do I want to be a dad? More than anything, I'd love to be a hockey dad, being up at 6am for practise. Helping with homework, and sneaking snacks before bedtime. But does that desire make me want to shift my "standards" to find a girl, as opposed the a right girl I'm looking for? No.

I have lots going on in my life right now, a long-term relationship and commitment to a child just aren't in the cards right now. Right now. Hopefully someday.

Until then, I'll party on the weekends, put in 10+ hours at work, and have a blast doing it. I don't have to defend myself to anyone, I'm underemployed right now, so what? I have other priorities right now. I'm single, so what I have other priorities right now. I don't have a child, so what I want to make it to Calgary to see the Flames play again before I'm tied down paying for diapers and a minivan.

I want a child, I even know the names, however I'm definitely not ready yet.