How Often Do You Argue With Your Partner?

[Crazy Flamer]

So I've been with my girlfriend for about 8 months now. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death and we both see a future with one another, but lately we have been arguing a little more than usual. We are moving in together at the end of the month, and moving is always stressful. Plus, there have been some other outside factors in both our lives that have added stress as well.

Now of course, I never win these arguements. Somehow things always swing back onto me! But hey, that's just the way it goes I guess.

Anyways, just wondering what experiences other have in this department.

[HOOT]

Originally Posted by Crazy Flamer

Now of course, I never win these arguements. Somehow things always swing back onto me!

Get use to it

I would say that the added stress of life and moving in are a big factor. My last girlfriend and I broke up about a week before moving in with each other because of all the stress. We just decided if we can't handle the pressure of moving in with each other how will the relationship last through something that actually matters.

[Flames in 07]

Married for about seven years. About 3 or 4 arguements in that time ... 10 - 20 min each.

[ricosuave]

well, I am no expert, and I have been known to engage an argument for longer than it should have gone, but, to me, the kicker is... is it a minor thing or major thing you are arguing about? if its minor, treat it as minor and move on. thats what mature adults do. but if its major, and has the potential to get worse and worse as time goes on, well, its often best to hash it out and let the chips fall where they may.

bottom line is this - if you love each other, and really want to for the forseeable future, is an argument really worth it? worth the hassle of starting over? worth the pain and suffering? most times its not, not even close...

it might sound trite, but it sounds like you two may actually need each other in times of crisis like this, not turn on each other...

my 2 cents, and not worth much more LOL

[mrdeeds]

Originally Posted by Flames in 07

Married for about seven years. About 3 or 4 arguements in that time ... 10 - 20 min each.

And then you woke up.....

[DuffMan]

booze is your friend.

[Crazy Flamer]

Originally Posted by ricosuave

bottom line is this - if you love each other, and really want to for the forseeable future, is an argument really worth it? worth the hassle of starting over? worth the pain and suffering? most times its not, not even close...

Oh yeah, I don't even think either of us question it. But I'm a man, I can't vent to her because its about her.

[ricosuave]

^ sure you can, but be prepared to take it when she returns the favor. and after you both get the details out and work it out, it will be done LOL

my wife used to do repeated things that ticked me off, and often we'd argue about it - i'd get mad because she wouldnt change, and then shed get mad because she thought I should change - in the end, we BOTH had to change, and we BOTH discovered that. thats what I mean about if its a petty thing or not. important considerations if its minor or major.

but what do I know, I hang out on an internet message board LOL

[Flames in 07]

Originally Posted by Crazy Flamer

Oh yeah, I don't even think either of us question it. But I'm a man, I can't vent to her because its about her.

I dunno, for what it's worth I think the better question to ask here is what exactly or why exactly do you need to 'vent' things to her?

I don't want to be an a$$, I just think that pursuing that question may get to less 'fights'.

[FlamesAddiction]

Never.

Lived with my girlfriend now for 5 years, give or take... We never fight or argue about anything.

[Crazy Flamer]

Originally Posted by Flames in 07

I dunno, for what it's worth I think the better question to ask here is what exactly or why exactly do you need to 'vent' things to her?

I don't want to be an a$$, I just think that pursuing that question may get to less 'fights'.

Doesn't every man have to vent about his woman at one time or another? Why do you think we are the ones that die first?

[Ford Prefect]

I don't argue with my wife, I just correct her when she's wrong. Just kidding.

We've been married 20 years and I can honestly say we've not had a major, knock-down, drag-out, not speaking to each other fight during the last 20 years, nor when we were dating. There's two reasons for that. One, we don't get into it when we're mad about whatever it is ... we let things cool down for a couple hours first. Doing that allows us to cool down enough that we don't say rash things we might later regret. The other reason we've not had serious fights is that we're both willing to compromise. I always ask myself "How important is this issue to me?" If it's not very important or only moderately important, I'm quite willing to compromise. If it's important to me, I explain why, and she is usually willing to compromise.

[CrusaderPi]

I've only argued once with my wife.


It started while we were dating in April of 1999. I feel I made some good points yesterday.

[return to the red]

I don't believe anyone who says they don't fight. Arguments are part of a healthy relationship and there's nothing wrong with that.

we usually have a little squabble once a week or so...get's the anger out and get to have make-up sex

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by return to the red

I don't believe anyone who says they don't fight. Arguments are part of a healthy relationship and there's nothing wrong with that.

we usually have a little squabble once a week or so...get's the anger out and get to have make-up sex

Call me a liar if you want, but we don't fight. We argue about stuff, yes, but I wouldn't call it fighting. I had enough fights with my first wife to know what a fight is, and I haven't had any disageements with my second wife in the last 20 years that would classify as a fight compared to the matches I got into with my first wife.

[REDVAN]

I just got out of my relationship, it was over 4 years long.

We argued a lot lately, and it takes a toll on things. Don't let it go on. It's just not worth it to fight. If she's a person who is comfortable with sharing, then make sure you guys have meaningful conversation, and don't let stuff get pent up inside.

P.S. I like the comment about fighting with your wife since 1999.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

Call me a liar if you want, but we don't fight. We argue about stuff, yes, but I wouldn't call it fighting. I had enough fights with my first wife to know what a fight is, and I haven't had any disageements with my second wife in the last 20 years that would classify as a fight compared to the matches I got into with my first wife.

I believe you because I don't fight with my partner either. I used to fight with my ex all the time though, and if "not fighting" is "not normal", then I much prefer to be an abnormal relationship.

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

I believe you because I don't fight with my partner either. I used to fight with my ex all the time though, and if "not fighting" is "not normal", then I much prefer to be an abnormal relationship.

Thank you. If that's abnormal, I can handle it too.

[Flames in 07]

Originally Posted by return to the red

I don't believe anyone who says they don't fight. Arguments are part of a healthy relationship and there's nothing wrong with that.

we usually have a little squabble once a week or so...get's the anger out and get to have make-up sex

Some people don't really have a need to take out anger on their spouse ... sorry.

[CaptainCrunch]

Daily, or so it seems.