What's your all-time best come-back?

[JBR]

At a local bar when Electric Ave. was thriving (Coconut Joe's) and ran into a retired NHL'er (not former Flame). My group was pretty drunk and were having a laugh at his expense as he tried to wheel a fairly horrendous female.

Noticing this, he approached us and quipped, "Do you know who I am?"

"No, but I know who you WERE and that doesn't help you now!"

Speechless, he returned to his companion as we passed ourselves laughing

[Patek23]

Andy Barbe?

[Sled]

A buddy on mine was taking a shower in his dorm. On the way back to his room one of guys grabbed his towel and ran into my buddies room and locked the door.

One of the comments from the onlookers was "Hey John, who you going to please with that?"

Without hesitation and very confidently his reply was "ME!"

[Buff]

Somewhat of a lame comeback, but it did the job:

Back at my first job, I worked at KFC. There was a guy I worked with who got into selling Amway. He was relentless. He was trying too hard to get me into Amway too. He was really getting on my nerves.

One evening he was on his usual "Amway is the way to go" rants, and he told me "I'm selling Amway, I have a future, if you want a future you'd sell Amway too." I laughed pretty good at this. A few moments later the Superman Song by the Crash Test Dummies was on the radio and he was singing along. After the part of the song where the lyrics say "Superman never made any money..." I immediately piped up and said, "Did you hear that? Maybe Superman should've sold Amway!" I never heard about Amway from him again.

[mykalberta]

Originally posted by Flashpoint@Sep 2 2005, 05:11 PM
I was working as an usher at a performing arts theatre (Chan Center at UBC), and told a dude he couldn't go into the theatre until there was a break.

He started giving me a really hard time (like it was my fault he was late). Eventually he started swearing at me.

I waited for a pause and then asked him "Why are you giving me such a hard time? I am just trying to do my job. I don't come down to where you work and slap the #### out of your mouth."


He reported me to my boss.

She laughed pretty hard.

I have heard that so reply so many times, and each and every time I always laugh because no one has a reply to it, or else the reply is so lame its funny.

MYK

[TheyCallMeBruce]

while I was at the video store one day, I had some kid make fun of me because I wore my flames jersey. Everyone around him kinda laughed as he informed me that the flames sucked. I told him at least I'm wearing my jersey to show I'm a fan, where's your jersey kid? He lifted up his shirt and revealed his little Maple Leafs. I responded, "figures, I'd hide my shirt too if I was a Maple Leafs fan." Everyone busted out laughing. The kid was so embarressed, he quickly exited the store.