newly single

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Yes, I'm saying that it is impossible to know what it's like to live with someone or what their living habits are unless you've actually lived with them.

Just know that when you come visit me, you better not expect to be living in sin under my roof.

[algernon]

Originally Posted by J pold

OK I agree with this, or at least I don't disagree with it.


Here is where you lose me. I'm not married and far from an expert but isn't the legal part kind of a big deal? Certainly more than a formality. I'm a economic thinker and most of my rational decisions are based around money, cost, and the value of my time. The idea that someone, other than myself, could have an equal share of the wealth that I've created for myself is highly unappealing. I know that sounds selfish, and well , it probably is but it's a reality none the less. If I do ever get married one thing is for sure, a prenuptial agreement is in order.

I didn't know you were wealthy.

As I understand it, in Alberta, after two people have lived together for 3 years, they are considered common-law, and the assets would be split.
So, married or not, He/She gets half... Prenup or not.

[prarieboy]

Originally Posted by SebC

Only if it doesn't appreciate. If it does, half the appreciation goes to her.

Seems fair. If she has assets and they appreciate I would benefit as well.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Dion

Guess we'll agree to disagree on that.

And I'll defer to the fact that I've actually lived common-law for three years, as opposed to someone whose experience is hypothetical.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by algernon

I didn't know you were wealthy.

As I understand it, in Alberta, after two people have lived together for 3 years, they are considered common-law, and the assets would be split.
So, married or not, He/She gets half... Prenup or not.

Well I'm not really, I'm still young but I plan on working hard and hopefully creating something myself.

Yeah I realize that, and envision this being a problem that I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with at some point. Right now my plan is to keep the revolving door going, its worked for me so far.

[MrMastodonFarm]

So when is peter going to post nudes of his ex?

Come on, get vengeful.

[SebC]

Originally Posted by prarieboy

Seems fair. If she has assets and they appreciate I would benefit as well.

Well yes, if her assets are approximately equal to yours it makes sense, but it's also pretty much a non-issue in that case. However, if you have, say a $400,000 house and she has nothing and the house goes to $500,000... should you really have to pay her $50,000 to keep what was yours coming in? What if you don't have the $50,000? Then you have to sell the house.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Dion

Guess we'll agree to disagree on that.

I don't believe that you've lived with someone and still think this. Before moving in together, people have their own place to go to when s*it get rough. Each individual is financially responsible for their own bills. Each individual is personally responsible for the upkeep of their own houses. Once they live together, sharing all those burdens is the entire learning curve to what most people hope to work toward, which is marriage.

I can't believe that any sane person thinks that they can figure out what it's like to live with someone before actually living with someone.

[flamesfever]

Originally Posted by 4X4

I can't believe that any sane person thinks that they can figure out what it's like to live with someone before actually living with someone.

That probably depends on how long the two parties have associated, without living together. I think a fairly intelligent, sane, mature person can reasonably tell what they are getting into, given enough time and circumstance.

As I see it, the problems associated with commonlaw relationships in young people relate to one or the other, or both of the parties not being mature enough to deal with all the problems associated with a permanent relationship. Aside from the legal / financial problems, which themselves can be horrendous, the risk of having children can further complicate things. I believe statistics show that children, of parents who are unmarried, carry a much greater risk of their parents separating, than those who come from parents who are married.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

So when is peter going to post nudes of his ex?

Come on, get vengeful.

Actually, I never saw her naked.

[Muta]

Originally Posted by peter12

Actually, I never saw her naked.

Ah, saving yourself, ya good Christian boy!

Please tell me your elbow brushed across her knockers atleast once.

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by peter12

Actually, I never saw her naked.

Thoughts and prayers.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by Muta

Ah, saving yourself, ya good Christian boy!

Please tell me your elbow brushed across her knockers atleast once.

Just once when I was trying to kiss her crucifix.

[Muta]

Originally Posted by peter12

Just once when I was trying to kiss her crucifix.

Damn, son... I thought I was the devil's cabana boy, but you're going to hell.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by Muta

Damn, son... I thought I was the devil's cabana boy, but you're going to hell.

In reality, we are miserable, miserable people.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by peter12

Actually, I never saw her naked.

Wasn't she using sex to get her way?

Were you dry humping?

[peter12]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Wasn't she using sex to get her way?

Were you dry humping?

Lord heavens, I was kidding.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Wasn't she using sex to get her way?

Were you dry humping?

Now, why are you all piling on peter for this comment?

He said he never seen her naked, he never said they didn't have intercourse.

The fact of the matter is peter12 was nailing her regularly, but twice-daily intercourse isn't much of a way to live a thoughtful life. He was reading and watching Documentaries.

Multitasking, bitches.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Peter,

Here's my anecdote. Take from it what you will. Obviously every situation is unique.

I'm the same age as you but had my major breakup at the age of 21. I had dated the same girl from 18 until 21 when we broke up. I was very much still in love with her but it was obvious our relationship had soured. It took me a LOOOOONG time to get over it.

But that isn't the biggest thing I learned. The biggest thing I learned was the next relationship after the 3 year girl.

About 6 to 8 months after we broke up I met a girl who was everything my ex wasnt' (read: not a bitch). I really started to like the "next" girl and despite my instincts telling me not to I got involved. My instincts told me I wasn't ready and that I'd make a mistake.

After a month or so of dating I was thinking my instincts were totally wrong. Me and this girl got along great and I had pretty much forgotten about my ex. Then after about 3-4 months of dating things got a little more serious. I would frequently stay over at my new g/f's place and we were really happy.

Then I hit a wall. It was nothing but pure, unadultered fear. What hit me was that I was incapable of falling in love with my new g/f. Not because she wasn't wonderful because she was (and a freak in the sack I might add).

What got me was that I had tried to convince myself that I was ready to fall in love again and I wasn't. What bothered me more is that I began to realize that me and this girl could have had a real future if I would have waited, until I was ready and over my ex, to start dating the new girl. I ended up breaking up with her because I think she began to fall in love with me and that set off alarms in my head. I wasn't ready for commitment yet and to make it worse it was my own stupid decision that ruined any future chance of me and new girl being together.

Moral of the story: Get laid, have fun do whatever but don't think that a new girl will automatically help you get over old girl. I never once intentionally dated the new girl as a way to get over the ex but I did quickly realize that I had been lying to myself when I said I was ready for a new relationship. So, maybe casually date a few girls but beware of thinking you've found "the next one" until you are good and ready or you may find yourself not being over the ex and then realizing you ruined things with a girl that could have been more than another ex.


And just in case anyone cares I don't regret ruining things with the "new" chick. Well, I did but what bothered me more was that then I had to get over a second girl before I was over the first. Especially when I ruined things with new girl because I was afraid of commitment. At present I'm single and happy as a pig in poop. In hindsight I'm just glad I got out when I did because it allowed me to enjoy my 20s in bachelor bliss.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by peter12

Lord heavens, I was kidding.

Peter . . . my friend. If you don't realize by now that I'm going to take you to task for a comment like that then your in big trouble.