another help thread - Page 2 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

flamesfan6 · 12-19-2007, 05:43 PM

ya, might be in BC, but i hate nuck fans.

ya, i guess now that im legal, it makes it easier to do that

Azure · 12-19-2007, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flamesfan6

ya, might be in BC, but i hate nuck fans.

ya, i guess now that im legal, it makes it easier to do that

I like the part-time job idea as well.

Apply where people your own age are working as well....it IS a great way to meet friends.

4X4 · 12-19-2007, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azure

Your a Flames fan, right?

Go to the bar and watch the game when you have a night open. In fact, make time to do something like that.

...good way to meet people with the same interests.

Sounds to me like he's already uncomfortable enough meeting people. Trying to find friends in a pub? Maybe when drunk...

What about those social bulletin boards? There are sites that organize things with like minded people. I know this because I was reading about pugs and there is a whole society of people that love pugs and meet and greet each other. They're all connected via a site that organizes things like this for almost any group.

MelBridgeman · 12-19-2007, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flamesfan6

ya, might be in BC, but i hate nuck fans.

ya, i guess now that im legal, it makes it easier to do that

Are you in Victoria? lots of those types of jobs..and lots of Flames fans at uvic

flamesfan6 · 12-19-2007, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stillman16

If soccer is your thing, try the co-ed rec league at the Calgary Soccer Centre.

You can join a team as an individual, and most teams like to go for a beer to hang out after (you can drink pop if you want!!!), and the league has different levels for experience.

If you current res team doesn't go out, try suggesting it. You don't have to drink.

http://www.calgarycoedsoccer.com/ here's the link for the Calgary Soccer Centre

Good luck!

i'd be interested if i was in Calgary. I drink, but i dont overdo it

flamesfan6 · 12-19-2007, 05:50 PM

and for a part time job, i'd rather not have to worry bout school and a part time job. I'd prefer to meet people a different way, but school and a job is not in my plans.

Dynasty12 · 12-19-2007, 05:52 PM

Are you really ugly?

kermitology · 12-19-2007, 05:53 PM

Sign up for a singles team of some sort in your local town.. find an organization similar to Calgary Sport and Social

flamesfan6 · 12-19-2007, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4X4

Sounds to me like he's already uncomfortable enough meeting people. Trying to find friends in a pub? Maybe when drunk...

ya, it is for the most part challenging for me. I used to hang out with a group of people in elementary, and then when it became Junior high and new schools, they started with alcohol and drugs, which is not my thing.
In grade 12, it was getting better that people would invite me places, but then they are all at different universities, and now I just have not found any group or people that i can hang out with.

sad thing is that it is my fault for not getting into a group and now i lack confidence, and take it out on myself at times..........

Caged Great · 12-19-2007, 05:58 PM

I know exactly what you're going through. I am going through the same kind of crap you're going through right now. How I am getting through it is just getting out there and don't be afraid to be yourself.

Just realize that not everyone is going to like you for who you are. It sounds harsh, but that's life. It all a matter of finding some people that you do get along with and you're set.

Get out there. Nobody does anything by sitting at home doing nothing.

flamesfan6 · 12-19-2007, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dynasty12

Are you really ugly?

umm i dont consider myself ugly... but heh, thats just me

Caged Great · 12-19-2007, 06:01 PM

Also, I tried the Calgary Sport and Social for soccer/Softball/and Ultimate Frisbee. I met quite a few nice people there and it is definitely an awesome place to meet new people. Just join up for a singles team. Not all the singles teams are great "friend" material (about 1/3 of the singles teams I joined were good in that manner)

If you want to talk more in depth just PM me. I know 100% where you're coming from.

Dion · 12-19-2007, 06:07 PM

I'm like you in a lot of ways. I don't have many friends and am often never invited to functions and events. Was bullied for most of my primary school years. Even attempted suicide once over this because I hated myself. I took it personal and figured there was something wrong with me. The questions was always why won't people associate with me? Or why do people hate me that much?

What i've learned since then is that you need to learn to be comfortable with who you are. There is nothing wrong with you as a person - you need to learn that AND repeat that daily. If people don't want to associate with you it's their problem and not yours.

There's is also great truth in positive vibes in comparison to negatives. Nobody likes being around a debbie downer. People are attracted to people with energy and who have a zest for life.

Reach out to people and take an interest in their lives. Ask them questions about their hobbies or what they like to do with their spare time. Join groups/clubs and find people who share the same hobbies and interests as you.

Become comfortable with your aloneness. You don't need to have friends to be complete as a person. My happiness does not depend on having friends in my life.

Seek out some counselling. these trained professions can help you. They did for me and i'm positive they can do the same for you. Be positive about it and work at it hard. It takes time and you will se results down the road.

Keep your chin up and never give up trying.

smithtofuhr86 · 12-19-2007, 06:19 PM

Volunteer my friend! If you're schedule allows it, there is so many agencies in the city that could use your help and at the same time you will meet some people and start taking step in feeling valued. I work for an agency that support adults who are severly disabled we always welcome volunteers, we have appreciation social potlucks twice a month for the volunteers (actually two of our volunteers Mount Royal students met at our company and are now dating), we also will go out for drinks etc. after work with the volunteers, when I was in University I volunteered at the Boys and Girls Club and ran there floor hockey program and I met so many cool people. Big brothers big sisters, the boys and girls clubs, YMCA's could all use your help and you could also benefit from the social end of it. Could be a good start.

Keep your head up bro, think about all the positives in your life not the negatives you're getting an education, you have your health and ofcourse you have us.

Muta · 12-19-2007, 06:27 PM

Here's what I found helps.

Listen to what people say. Speak half as much as you listen. When you show a genuine interest in who they are and what they do, then they learn to become someone that can feel comfortable approaching you. Always speak half as much as you listen; I've never had a problem with a lack of friends because I always show interest in others.

At the same time, once you're comfortable with yourself, and let people know that you set trends instead of follow them, they'll come. Initially it may be hard; but if you're seen as a friendly, hard-working and independent individual... trust me, people will come and listen to what YOU have to say.

And my friend, there's always traveling. I was kind of in a rut like that last year (after university, ironically). I left for the South Pacific for a while, and man... the international friends I met? Holy smokes, what a rich, enjoyable pot of gold. I guarantee you: traveling will give you experiences, make you friends and make you discover strengths inside you you never thought you had. Why is this? Because everyone traveling / hosteling is in the SAME boat as you. They are all looking to talk to people and make friends. As long as you're okay with approaching people, other foreigners will flock to you like crazy. It's like the proverbial snowball rolling down the hill - make sure you start it, and once you do, all the other snow will gravitate towards it and catch on.

flamesfan6 · 12-19-2007, 06:27 PM

well thanks for the suggestions so far, i get to go home in a few days
hopefully weather in calgary isnt too cold... theres wishful thinking

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dion

I'm like you in a lot of ways. I don't have many friends and am often never invited to functions and events. Was bullied for most of my primary school years. Even attempted suicide once over this because I hated myself. I took it personal and figured there was something wrong with me. The questions was always why won't people associate with me? Or why do people hate me that much?

a lot of time i feel like that too, and I don't know why .. its not like im a jerk, i try to just be a nice guy (nice guys do finish last apparently)

i would have thoughts of .........., multiple and many times, but i would never actually do it, i'd prefer to be alone through life than something stupid, who knows what could happen later

so far best option i guess is to join a club or something like that, just gotta find one that fits me, and hope for best

flamesfan6 · 12-19-2007, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muta

Here's what I found helps.
And my friend, there's always traveling. I was kind of in a rut like that last year (after university, ironically). I left for the South Pacific for a while, and man... the international friends I met? Holy smokes, what a rich, enjoyable pot of gold. I guarantee you: traveling will give you experiences, make you friends and make you discover strengths inside you you never thought you had. Why is this? Because everyone traveling / hosteling is in the SAME boat as you. They are all looking to talk to people and make friends. As long as you're okay with approaching people, other foreigners will flock to you like crazy. It's like the proverbial snowball rolling down the hill - make sure you start it, and once you do, all the other snow will gravitate towards it and catch on.

after university i guess would be a good time to do that, always been thinking a trip on my own might clear my head.

Muta · 12-19-2007, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flamesfan6

after university i guess would be a good time to do that, always been thinking a trip on my own might clear my head.

Dude, believe me... it'll cure what ails you. I 100% guarantee it. The international crowd is where it's at. Plus, if there's anyone from the same region as you wherever you travel, I guarantee you'll become close friends. Never fails.

A fresh start in a new location is absolutely the best idea. Just switch it up; sometimes its just time for a change, and traveling is exactly that.

4X4 · 12-19-2007, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flamesfan6

after university i guess would be a good time to do that, always been thinking a trip on my own might clear my head.

I fully, totally and absolutely agree with Muta. Do it.

REDVAN · 12-19-2007, 06:37 PM

Don't think that counseling is for the weak, I used to think that until I had no where else to go! It helped me in a similar situation. What have you got to lose?

This thread makes me think we should have a CP meet and greet... I think it's been a while since anyone organized one. Nothing like awkwardly meeting your online idols.

I am wondering how many posters we could get out to Schanks.

This would help people who have trouble finding friends, and also would be good for those of us what want to put a face to the name. Nothing like meeting people who you have a connection to. You might make some new hockey watching buddies.