Teenage daughters and the ensuing stress - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Displaced Flames fan · 12-29-2005, 06:11 PM

Anyone have any advice on how to avoid murdering 13 year old boys?

CaramonLS · 12-29-2005, 06:14 PM

Have you and your daughter had "that talk"? Or your has your wife?

flamingchina · 12-29-2005, 06:15 PM

lock up your daughter in the basement?

ensure she wears the most hideous clothes imaginable..

Buy a big gun, and answer the door with it...

red '00 · 12-29-2005, 06:17 PM

Why would you want to avoid that?

Honestly though, most 13 year olds are too scared to *do* anything, anyways.

Displaced Flames fan · 12-29-2005, 06:24 PM

My wife has.

I've made the mistake of thinking she was smart enough to know what and who to avoid.

This is new. We haven't had to deal with any major issues like this yet. I've got to keep my composure!

A Flames win would help that.

CaramonLS · 12-29-2005, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red '00

Why would you want to avoid that?

Honestly though, most 13 year olds are too scared to *do* anything, anyways.

I know some people who have lost it at 13 years, and kids are doing it at much younger ages now. (sorry dis don't want to scare you anymore).

My advice is Dis, maybe you have a "follow up" conversation with her, but just make sure you are 100% truthful and don't try to scare her, because they will eventually find out if you lie, and it wont be good.

Incinerator · 12-29-2005, 06:40 PM

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthread.php?t=19380

Whatever you do, DO NOT follow this guy's advice.

kiddin' aside you should have a friendly chat with her (both you and your wife being present) paint a picture of what her life will be like if she had a baby at age 14, that should be enough to scare her from doing anything stupid. Other than that I don't think you should go into control freak mode and flipping out on the puppy-love stuff. Kids will be kids, let them have their fun as long as it's harmless.

red '00 · 12-29-2005, 06:44 PM

I think you just have to trust the job you did raising her, and trust that she's smart enough to use some common sense. Ask yourself this, "is she stupid enough to give it away at 13?". I think a "follow-up" talk like mentioned above would be good too.

Of course you could always limit her monthly showers to ohhh... Three.

red '00 · 12-29-2005, 06:49 PM

That'll always work!

Hakan · 12-29-2005, 07:13 PM

Take solace in the fact that, in the end, there's nothing you can do. If a teenager really wants to do something then they will. All you can do as a parent is be there for your child when they really need you and give them advice you hope that they use. You can't force them to do anything. Shouting and yelling wont work either. Cool heads prevail.

BlackArcher101 · 12-29-2005, 07:14 PM

No, it won't always work

Have confidence in your upbringing of your daughter. If you taught her good morals, she will make the right decision herself, even though she may not seem like it.

But what do I know, I'm just a kid

toquester · 12-29-2005, 07:19 PM

Sorry to hear about your troubles, but I can relate. Had some of those myself.

I know there is a great temptation to lock your daughter up in the basement, and try to control the situation, but if you do that, it will only make things worse. You can't be with her 24/7 so the best protection you have, is to build your relationship with her, and be the person she turns to before she makes that kind of decision. (It is often easier for wives to do this). If she knows you won't flip, she will be more likely to talk to you before she does anything silly. If your relationship becomes contentious, things go underground and then you really have no idea what is going on in her life, in addition to not having any real control.

Good luck, just remember how much you love her.

Maritime Q-Scout · 12-29-2005, 09:57 PM

well something you probably don't want to hear but...

even the smart ones, the ones raised right, and have always done the right thing make mistakes. It's part of growing up. I've seen it happen.

However, if you raised her right her mistakes will be noticed by her relatively quickly. One of my best friends started dating this guy whom I hated in high school. I didn't feel comforatble saying "what are you doing with this guy?" However I had to smile when she said "I liked him, until I took him home to meet my dad, then I realized he was a complete *******." She gave him the boot that night.

I'd say the best you can do is lead by example and be open and honest, and hope she does the same. Support her wherever you can, and when she lets you. Relax, make sure her friends like you, and hope for the best.

Also if she does bring home a guy you don't like, you can play with his head... I want a daughter just to do that! Then again, I'm evil at heart.

Good luck,

and

PS: Is your daughter hot?

FireFly · 12-29-2005, 11:25 PM

Be her friend and be there for her. Make sure she has someone to go to, even if it isn't you, that you know will go to you with her concerns. My neice just turned 13 and started dating, and she tells me she has boyfriends and such... they barely even kiss.

habernac · 12-29-2005, 11:33 PM

that's one reason I'm hoping for a boy. good luck, dis!

LGA · 12-29-2005, 11:43 PM

Just don't do what my girlfriend's dad did. He literally followed us, randomly slammed doors open, and generally looked like he was going to kill me at any moment. It really just made me want to stay with her more...the teenage mind isn't quite wired right...

Mind you...we're a little older than 13, but I'm pretty sure the same concepts apply, and if my dealings with the guys my little sister has brought over have taught me anything, it's that it's better to be their friends, and know everything, than have them hide stuff. Of course if every guy realizes that he'll have to deal with the consequences, well...I'm sure you remember when the consequences just really didn't seem appealing.

4X4 · 12-30-2005, 03:41 AM

Hate to sound cliche, but idle hands are the devil's workshop. If you want to be a good leader to your daughter, stay active and encourage her to be. The less time she spends hanging around in her bedroom with her girlfriends, the less time she'll spend thinking about boys.

Spring for dancing lessons or whatever suits her fancy. Provide her the opportunity to find a hobby she likes, and never, ever use it as a threat or a punishment. "If you don't clean your room, I'll cancel your lessons...".

Try to eat dinner as a family, and encourage conversation about her day. Don't criticize her teenage likes and dislikes. If she likes muchmusic, don't harp on it's trashiness. Try to divert her attention toward role models that aren't skanks.

Of course, these are all guesses. I know it doesn't really address how to keep her from screwing the neighbourhood, but it sorta does.

4X4 · 12-30-2005, 03:43 AM

I guess I was getting at: try to avoid giving her reasons to rebel against you and her mom. When a kid wants their parents to be proud, they usually do a pretty good job of it.

Incinerator · 12-30-2005, 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

Is your daughter hot?

She's 13! You sick sick skinny pedophile, I hope you burn in hell

pope04 · 12-30-2005, 08:43 AM

My wife and I have three young sons, and I am also a step-father to my wife's daughter who will be 23 in January. Let's just say that from the time she was 15 (which coincided with the birth of our oldest boy) to 17 or so life in our house was absolute hell. Utter turmoil. Lying, stealing, out way too late, police involvement etc, etc, etc. Happily, things have turned out. She turned her life around, but I wouldn't wish her teen years on any parent.