Quote:
Originally Posted by 81MC
I’ve never known anyone whose parents were separated and it wasn’t ####ty. I don’t know anyone who has children of their own and separated and it wasn’t ####ty. Anyone had experience with either situation that was actually good, if not just not terrible?
My daughter is 3, and is my life. I adore her, and I think I’m a very good father to her. Things just aren’t going to work out with her mother and I, which is whatever. But the thought of losing seeing my daughter every day, being there for breakfast and bath time and story time etc just kills me.
I see know way a split household isn’t anything but worse for her. If I knew some folks managed to raise happy kids and maintained strong relationships with them over the years that might help me out.
Cohabiting and the like pretty much off the table. Her mother and I pretty much done relationship wise, I don’t think there’s any long-term coming back to a real relationship. My hope is to maintain our facade well enough and long enough to get the logistics figured out, but pull the plug before mutual resentment makes any semblance of teamwork impossible.
Honestly though I’m at such a loss about the life of our daughter. It seems so unfair to her, and if it were purely up to me I could probably live with a total apathy to her mother but I don’t think that’s healthy for anyone.
Someone please tell me their relationship with their divorced dad was anything better than the guy you have to go see sometimes  |
My daughter and her former partner separated when my grandson was 4 years old. They made a conscious decision that it was not going to affect my grandson. They did so without the help of lawyers as well, saving a lot of money.
From the beginning, my grandson lived with one parent for one week, and the other parent the next week. They decided that if my grandson was stressed and wanted a visit with the other parent, they would accommodate that.
That was 13 years ago. Since then, my daughter's former partner has moved closer to where my daughter lives, to accommodate school attendance.
It was hard on both parents the first year or two but they managed to stay civil, for the sake of my grandson.
We get together as a group for all major occasions, including the new partner of my grandson's father. It is not hard unless you make it hard.
And think of the circumstances of how you separated. My daughter has said repeatedly that although as partners they could not get along long term, that does not mean that either was a bad parent and that my grandson should be punished for that.
Sorry, had a typo. They separated when my grandson was 4 years of age.