Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
1-10 hah, I'm below zero right now.
After my contract ended in recruiting 6 months ago because the company I had been working for had blown through money and decided to get rid of contractors, and went into a hiring freeze.
I've had some work but very little. In the last 6 months, I've probably sent out 300 resumes with very little response. Even getting other resume professional's reviewing my resume and covers hasn't changed the depressing lack of results. I get it, I'm older, and older people don't get hired. But I'm feeling unwanted and un valued.
I've done work on the contract side but have taken several kicks in the teeth on that side, and don't have much coming through, and took a severe punch to the gut today, on a contract that I was bidding on that looked really good until one of my partners screwed it up and left me ineligible to bid.
Its tough to stay optimistic. After multiple years of straight hell on the family side, now its straight hell on my side.
After using my savings to get me through it that's coming to an end, I'm about to hit rocks, with no where else to turn.
Part of me doesn't want to be here anymore. I'm just tired out.
People tell me to keep my head up, and keep fighting through this. I don't know if I have that in me anymore.
Sorry for the vent.
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I can relate. I'm 43 and looking for work again after taking a package from my previous employer. Because it was voluntary, I have the double poison of being off work a month now and also it being voluntary and allowing doubt to creep in my mind. The move to Cape Breton was right for our family in the long run and being close to family is important. I also know that the future at my old company was becoming difficult to see past 5 years. TELUS is busily off shoring work to every developing country in the world, and pocketing the savings to its share holders and lavishing the executives with massive bonuses. It's gross. There's a reason people were taking the package by the thousands, but, still, it was voluntary.
I have a really dark part of my mind that if I cant find work in a reasonable amount of time that I don't know what to do or what I'll do. It's a constant unease in my mind. Men aren't allowed to be unproductive. My value is based, in my mind, around providing for my family.
I'm glad my benefits with the old company end in February. Look, this is going to sound dark and ####ed up but just let me write it without being judged. If my life insurance was still good until May or June, and I was off work for 6 months at that point, I could see myself contemplating faking an accident on the highway to make sure my kids got a good life insurance pay out.
So yeah things are solid 2 for me right now.