Originally Posted by PsYcNeT
Awful fart story
Years ago, in Grade 6 I believe, all the kids in my grade went to one of those 'outdoor school' character building dealies, you know, where you all hand out in dorm-ish cabins in the middle of nowhere?
So anywho, we're all clustered in the main room of the dorm area, a commons filled with about 100 students, a dozen teachers, and a handful of 'councellors', and the authorities are outlining the rules of the 'school', and goddamn if I've ever had to fart as badly as I did that day. I can't honestly remember what I ate (I think it was a ham sandwich with extra mustard), but it was coming in a hurry, and we were about 25 minutes into an hour long lecture, and no student was allowed to leave.
So, in my infinate 11-year old wisdom, I treated my intestines to some relief by attempting a slow release with a bit of a sideways lean for extra caution, and my colon was having none of that.
Now I will mention that I am more or less directly in the middle of a room barely big enough for everyone, sitting cross legged amongst a sea of kids.
The intended silent fart ends up coming out with such exaggerated force FRAP! that the councellor stops talking and stutters for a minute while a wave of simultaneous disgust and giggles flows through the crowd. Embarassed, I attempt to shift back into position and the resultant shifting forces out another one FRAAAP! and by this point, most of the students surrounding me are quickly shuffling away, whilst the rest laugh maniacally. Red faced, I start pushing myself away from the teeming group, and with every BRAAAP! bumslide backwards towards FREEP! the dorm I was staying in, even more BUMCHUCKLE! gas continues to penetrate my rectum.
By the time I had completed my agonizing trek to the dorm, all the other fellers who were staying in it with me were crying out "Noooo! Not in there!! Awwwww!!!".
I wasn't spoken to for at least a few days by most people
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