[Dion]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I'm glad to see that there are some good discussions going on here. I guess that was partially my intention, but also I needed to vent.

How am I?

Its a question that I've gotten over the last couple of days. I don't know how to quantify it, or fold it or bend it into a shape that's useful. I feel more angry then anything. I'm mad at the situation, I'm mad at the family member, I'm worried about the people that he he's hurt or effected their life and their mental state.

When people say they're not in a good place right now, I used to think, that its something that they can work through or get better with the passage of time.

With everything that's happening in my life over the last few months, I feel like that tunnel isn't going to end, or that I can't stop being angry.

I know its going to end, and that there's some kinda metaphysical bandage that can be applied to the recent cuts in my life. I just want to know when.

I use a lot of movie stuff. I still remember a segment from the movie Leap of Faith, when they talk about a town that hasn't gotten rain in a long time and their crops won't grow. Steve Martin sermonizes and asks the question

"when you say to me Jonas, when's it gonna rain"

"all I can say is when's it gonna stop"

How to Cope When a Loved One Commits Suicide

It's okay to wonder why: Many suicide victims do not leave a note. Even if they do, you can still struggle with what drove them to the point that they felt this was necessary. Unfortunately, you can't always get answers, but it's alright to ask.

It's alright to be angry: When a drunk driver causes an accident that takes a loved one's life, you know who to be angry at. When someone commits suicide, though, the person who did it and the victim are the same. Thoughts like "How could he do that to us?" or "Didn't she care about us?" are extremely common and also perfectly natural.

Blaming yourself is natural (but it's not your fault): When something tragic happens, we want to believe we could've prevented it. This instinct doesn't pair well with the first bullet on this list. It's easy to imagine a "what if" scenarios. The problem is that this often only makes us feel worse. While feelings of guilt are totally normal, be aware that ultimately, the choice was theirs and try not to be so hard on yourself.

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-cope-w...ide-1663171935

Some will argue that people who take their lives were taking the easy way out which in turn becomes a part of the anger process of grieving. I ask that you consider the below quote Captain.

Suicide is not a matter of choice. The profound depression that motivates most suicides is a disease. This disease causes a level of pain so profound that it twists one’s ability to assess risk, to make good choices, to maintain a sense of future possibilities.When people act out of this depression, they are not exercising free choice. They are falling victim to a disease. This disease is not about logic or self interest. It is about an immediate desire to be dead