[White Doors]

Originally Posted by troutman

Reminds me of:

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/90/90gsavalas.phtml

Player-With-Yourselves-Club

Telly Savalas.....Phil Hartman



Telly Savalas: Hi! I'm Telly Savalas. And if you're like me, you like to be near the action. And when there isn't any action, then you gotta make your own. And, baby, that's when you need to join.. [holds up card ] ..the Player-With-Yourselves Club. That's right, baby! The Player-With-Yourselves Club card entitles you to masturbation privileges at hotels all over the world. In cities like Milan, Paris, and Monte Carlo.

Just flash the card, and you'll get the kind of perks reserved for players only!

Like unlimited Kleenex! I'm talking two-ply, baby!

Plus: access to an international library of skin magazines, and all the latest videotapes cued up to the good parts, baby! 'Cause players don't have time to fast-forward!

Telly Savalas: Who loves yourself, baby?

haha. Ahh man, I miss Phil. And I miss GOOD SNL.