Quote:
Originally Posted by puckluck2
Lol at all the perfect men in this thread. Yeah, if I'm the one working which will likely be the case then yeah she'd be the one getting up to take care of the crying child. I've got to be up at 5am and attentive at work so I'm not going to get up in the middle of the night. If she's the one that has a great job that makes more money than me then yeah I'd get up but that isn't likely and saying that's sexist is rubbish, it's just reality, and we won't both be working so the one not working will be getting up in the middle of the night.
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I think you're right, but maybe people are reacting to the tone in which you're expressing your opinion (saying this from experience) and not the merit of what you're saying.
I think the parent who is using the parental leave should be the first line of defense in the night when the baby is up. Typically, that is mother. The man will normally have responsibilities outside the house and I think the work-a-day world is generally unsympathetic to the struggles of parents of babies, which isn't necessarily unreasonable, but that does mean the man does have to show up with the energy, focus and alertness to be productive. After all, that is what he's getting paid for and the family does require a breadwinner as a family of three or more cannot survive on parental leave alone. The woman will also have napping and/or resting opportunities sporadically throughout the day, which are not available to the man.
If, however, the man has a job that affords him a lot of time off, then I think the night time roles can be shared more equitably. Basically, whoever is getting up and going to work needs the sleep, in general, moreso than the person who is at home.
Either way, both roles are exhausting and it's tough for all involved. For anybody still in that stage, it does get a lot better and it will soon seem like a distant, god-awful nightmare for you so hang in there.