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Originally Posted by photon
Probably, but why would it necessarily end up with resentment issues unless someone has unreasonable expectations? People's libido changes over time, ebbs and flows, so even if they were in the same ballpark they won't stay that way.
If one partner makes advances and the other is not in the mood, so they go have a bath with their iPad and entertain themselves instead, how should that breed resentment in either one?
I could see if there was no communication or if someone was deceiving themselves ("their libido will improve when we get married") I could see it being an issue, but that's not strictly a problem with unequal libido (which is almost guaranteed to happen), it's a relationship problem.
Or is a problem with unreasonable views of masturbation or poor self esteem issues (if they're masturbating and they're not thinking of me that's cheating).
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The issue of porn and the issue of masturbation need to be separated. I have no issues with masturbation, but I do have issues with porn, and you can't just chalk it up to self-esteem issues.
I think porn is incredibly sexist, misogynistic, and demeaning to women. Women in pornography are very rarely treated with what I would consider respect. I won't date someone who looks at porn for those reasons. Even if there's porn that treats women with respect, and that's all a person watches (which I would be surprised by as it seems rare, but I'm by no means a porn aficionado so I admit I could be wrong), you're still supporting a multi-billion dollar industry where the abuse of women is prevalent. There are less harmful ways to enjoy yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Textcritic
I'm not sure that I buy this. I will grant that pornography produces a fantasy world of consequence-free sex in the form of pure, physical gratification, but the vast majority of people are capable of detecting and correctly decoding fantasy as wholly other than reality. There is no reason why one cannot enjoy the the fantasy at one moment, and then form healthy intimate sexual relationships in the next that are certainly even more gratifying. I'm not convinced that this is an "either / or" situation.
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Porn isn't just a fantasy. Fantasy is defined as something that you imagine. Porn is real women and real men performing explicit sexual acts that have been filmed for you to watch. Its not something you came up with in your head, or something you read in a book that described something that you then pictured, or even something alluded to in a movie that your mind then continued on, it's actually watching these physical actions being performed. That's not a fantasy.