Quote:
Originally Posted by Handsome B. Wonderful
Do you really think her parents are going to change at this point? People's behaviours and attitudes are very hard to change. tenyardrambo is not going to be able to make them stop being a-holes.
So the question becomes "Do you want to spend the rest of your life dealing with a-holes?" Cutting off her family is the practical solution.
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All I am saying is that this shouldn't be your first course of action, and that the best thing for all involved is level setting expectations. If they can't meet your expectations for them, then you deal accordingly.
The idea that people can't change is rediculous. I agree, you are dealing with a lot of years of behaviour patterns, but I think family is important and worth the effort.
To put this in perspective, my mother-in-law had these very same issues with her parents. She allowed them to control her life way too much and for too long, well into adulthood. Then she decided in her 40's that she had had enough and what did she do? Knee-jerk reaction, said she didn't need them in her life, and stopped talking to them. She re-married a guy just like herself and this is their solution to every disagreement with friends and family in life. "I don't need to deal with this $hit so eff them, I don't need them anymore". In the past 10 years, I've watched my mother-in-law and her new husband cut out:
- Her parents
- Her sisters (both)
- Her best friend
- His best friend
- His daughter
- His son
This is what happens when you mix tempers, pride and stubbornness together. Keep thinking that it's everyone else causing the problems and that you shouldn't have to deal with their cr4p, then one day realize you are all alone.