Quote:
Originally Posted by BuzzardsWife
MIssKat!! this is advice I give all my heartbroken friends..Remember the BAD times, not the GOOD Times!! it seems we all dwell on all the great things about a broken relationship instead of thinking about all the crappy parts about it..trust me, this helps!
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I would agree with this approach in the short term because any reminder of good times with someone who you still have unresolved feelings for will be either depressing or will foster 'we can get back together' thoughts until one is fully recovered.
However long term it is always good to remember good times had. Personally when times get rough in the present (not necessarily relationship trouble, just general tough times) I like to remember some of my good dating/relationship experiences among other fond memories of family, friends, travel, or anything really where I recall feeling really good. Those memories/experiences remind me that while things in the present might not be optimal, I can endure and there can and will be more good times.
I would also like to agree with those who suggest spending time with friends, family doing activities instead of dwelling on it. One time a while ago I got dumped on a Saturday morning in May (Even when the relationship didn't last over a year, it still is taxing to even the most confident person's self esteem to be dumped by someone). A couple friends of mine at the time were in the midst of a weekend project that I had turned down helping them with because I was supposed to be off with the gf that weekend. Right after getting dumped, I thought that the best thing I could do for myself to keep my mind from dwelling on it was to call them up and offer a hand. After a couple of day's labor, building a residential fence in the hot late-spring sun, drinking beer, and enjoying BBQ dinners with my good friends, somehow things came into a broader perspective and while not competely mended I felt ready to resume regular life's activities with the same amount of enthusiasm again.
The first 24 to 72 hours are probably the most critical. Regardless of how you choose to spend that time period whether it be lying in bed depressed or helping build a fence, the shock and self-pity will be over after such time. Personally I would rather be building a fence.