[Dion]

Originally Posted by Daradon

Your talk puts you outside of control.

Like AA says 'this problem is out of my control'. 'I cannot help myself I must completely stay away'.

I do know. I was at the brink, and yeah, I had no logic. I will agree with that.

My own emotion pulled me out. Not my logic.

If you want to look at it that way, that's fine with me.

Did you actually committ the act or were you thinking about it? There's a huge difference between thinking and doing it. Those that are thinking still believe there are options and choose life. There's still light at the end of the tunnel. It's when that tunnel loses that light and the dark hole becomes all encompasing, all sense of rational goes out the window as the emotional pain takes complete control.

There is no reason to get defensive because I've said right from the start two things.

1. People with depression should be understood and should be helped. It's a serious problem.

2. It's not a bad thing.

You're defensive cause you see that end as a bad thing. I do not. I see it as a decision which is up to the individual or a mistake up to the individual.

I take offence when someone tells me what i did was a choice. It took years of soul searching and talking with professionals to come to that conclusion. Anyone who has survived a suicide attempt will tell you later they didn't want to kill themselves. I also thought i made my feelings quite clear on the matter. If you still choose to believe it was my choice then we'll have to agree to disagree.

I don't see the end as a bad thing. I've never felt guilty about what i did as it was not me that swallowed those pills.

If I knew you in your moment of need, you can bet I would have done everything I could to help you and make sure you weren't alone.

However if you did commit suicide, I would have said at your funeral. This was Dion, he was my friend. He was a great person and I will miss him. But I respect what he did.

Those were the feelings i had when a HS chum comitted suicide. It wasn't his choice and that made me sad as i knew he loved people and life.

If you want to tell me that something outside of yourself saved you, than I have to ask, what was it? Because ultimately, even if one is 'foiled', they find a way.

So if you didn't save yourself in some way, what did?

Family and some time in a psychiatric ward saved me.