Oh the good old 5 paragrapgh paper. I havent read your paper and don't plan to, but i copied and pasted your 2rd paragragh (1st body paragraph) into word, its 2 pages long double spaced! Thats ridiculous man. No paragragh sould be longer than 3/4 of a page. Period. Split your body paragraphs into at least 2 each. Not only will it read a lot better, but your teacher will be happy that your not using the cookie cutter 5 paragraph model.
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