Childfree

[4X4]

With all the new dads on this board, I'm sure there'll be some interesting opinions on this topic.
I came across this site the other day. It is basically a site explaining why the people who choose to be child free are at peace with their decision. Some pretty compelling arguments there.
I haven't really given much thought one way or another about whether to have children, but I know that I thoroughly enjoy my current ability to up and move to Italy for a year and then come back because I feel like it.
And while I'm sure that there are joys involved with the opportunity to pass on wisdom, I simply don't feel like I'm missing out.

I suppose that if I don't feel that way, I shouldn't be thinking about it. But the reason I am is because a friend of mine just got through a 2 year ordeal over whether he was a father.
When it was discovered that he was not the father, we started joking (and ultimately being serious) about getting a vasectomy.

So I'm kinda hoping to hear from a few people that are child free and a little older. I'm 29, so I guess there's plenty of time left to go one way or the other.

For the record, the argument that had the most effect on me so far is the prospect of being old and not having a family. This doesn't really scare me because I have quite a few siblings, and they're already starting our family's next generation.

[ken0042]

I'm 37 and have no kids. That being said, I won't answer the phone on Father's Day if I don't recognize the number.

I really enjoy being an uncle; both to my sister's kids and to my friends kids who also call me "uncle Ken." I can spoil them at Christmas/bithdays, take them to do fun things that they don't get to do all the time. (Like what happens at the driving range if you hit 6 balls at once? I don't know- let's find out!)

Sometimes it's good to be single.

Oh, and completely unrelated, I am sure looking forward to going to Arizona next week to see 4 different major sporting events in one weekend.

[4X4]

Oh, I also wanted to add that my parents are starting to bug me a bit about having no desire to get married or have kids. It's pretty annoying.

[redforever]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Oh, I also wanted to add that my parents are starting to bug me a bit about having no desire to get married or have kids. It's pretty annoying.

Well, I have 2 children, both in long term committed relationships. While I would certainly enjoy being a grandparent, I also know that it is none of my business if my children choose to either have children or not have children.

I try to stay out of the affairs of my children as much as possible.

[Tron_fdc]

32, no kids and live common law with my g/f of 7 years. We're both on the same page as far as marriage and kids go....

I'm way too selfish to have kids, and live a lifestyle that doesn't really allow for it. I travel almost monthly, and spend weekends sledding/biking/drinking/acting like a 13 year old. I'm basically having fun at the expense of a "legacy", but I'm totally ok with that. There are enough humans on this planet as it is, so I don't feel a need to add to them so my name can live on.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Tron_fdc

3
I'm way too selfish to have kids,

I really don't see it as selfish. I think that foregoing a primal instinct because you know that you're not mentally/emotionally interested is doing the world a favor.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Oh, I also wanted to add that my parents are starting to bug me a bit about having no desire to get married or have kids. It's pretty annoying.

Just replace your older sister's birth control pills with tic-tacs. That way your parents get the grandchild they want, and everybody is happy!

Yeah, I was in the same situation at that age; then my sister got married and had kids. A lot less pressure from the parents now.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by ken0042

Just replace your older sister's birth control pills with tic-tacs. That way your parents get the grandchild they want, and everybody is happy!

Yeah, I was in the same situation at that age; then my sister got married and had kids. A lot less pressure from the parents now.

Heh heh... Funny thing about what you've said here...

I actually do have one older sister from the same mother who is presently choosing not to have kids but is married. All my other siblings are halfers. One is married and pregnant. My father and stepmother are the source of the pressure. My happily single for ~30 years mother has said nary a word to either me or my sister about offspring.
It's funny to me that she is the one facing the end of her family line and she feels no need to butt in and tell me or my sis to get on it, yet the other half of my family is out of the woods and still feels the need to bug us.

[RougeUnderoos]

Kids are for fags.

[llama64]

I married a girl who has absolutely no desire to get pregnant or deal with a kid. Loving every minute of it

Still it's a pain in the bum how people react when you mention that you have no kids and don't intend to ever have kids. Some people think that's a moral travesty and won't even talk to you again. I usually just shrug and move on. No need to waste time associating with narrow minded individuals.

[Prototype]

I'm technically a newlywed (Year and a half), and expecting a child in January.

I've always wanted to be a father. Why? Cause I wanted to try and measure up to my old man. Sure I could beat him at a game of 21... or run faster than he can... he still beats me at poker. But the thing is he provided me with a life that most people dream about. I'm not famous, nor am I wealthy by any stretch of the word. But I'm happy. I've done things most people never get the chance to do, and it's mainly because of my parents.

I need to know that I can be that kind of person. If I can't provide the same level of happiness my parents provided for me, I know that I will be falling just short... not failing.

Having said all that, I don't pressure friends and family to pro-create. I do believe it's a personal choice. It's a life changing situation. I'm ready for it, some people aren't. I get that.

Tron doesn't have time for kids cause he's playing my old PSP... once you can cut down video game time... you're ready.

[llama64]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Kids are for fags.

[Jayems]

I can't wait.

[CaptainCrunch]

Currently kind of single, on and off, but kinda with the same girl sorta for the last five years.

I don't have a lot of desire to have kids, even though it would be nice to raise someone to push the lawn mower around the homestead after painting the fence and cleaning out the garage. Some part of me says it would be nice to have that kid to teach to play ball, or skate, to send off to school, to sponge off of when I'm older.

But the balance sheet says that I'm pretty much a jerk, that I'm hard to live with, refuse to lose an argument, and I'm stuck in my ways. The wrong type of person to either get hitched to, or to raise kids.

[Rhettzky]

Originally Posted by Prottotype

Tron doesn't have time for kids cause he's playing my old PSP... once you can cut down video game time... you're ready.

I think that all I did for the first six months was play video games. First month the kid slept so much it was scary and the only choice really is to hang around the house. After that she was in bed by 7pm every night and there was four plus hours a night stuck in the house.

[Tron_fdc]

Originally Posted by Prottotype

Tron doesn't have time for kids cause he's playing my old PSP... once you can cut down video game time... you're ready.

Actually I HATE video games. My g/f begged me for that thing, and it's one of the best purchases I've made in a while. She's constantly playing it, and her nag factor has decreased by 50% at least.

As far as kids go, you guys should try having mormons as in-laws, and living in sin with a girl for 7 years who despises children. It's like she's a failure in their eyes, which puts us on the bullet train to hell for not adding to the flock. Her mom is horrified about our situation, because we won't get to some kingdom in heaven because we're not mormon, and thinks that our lifestyle is a bad influence on her brother and sister. Maybe I should tell her I don't care if I see her in the afterlife or not, and my version of hell is a place filled with Latter Day Saints wandering around using words like "fetch" instead of "".

[Salt Water Cowboy #10]

[quote=Tron_fdc;1068832]Actually I HATE video games. My g/f begged me for that thing, and it's one of the best purchases I've made in a while. She's constantly playing it, and her nag factor has decreased by 50% at least.

^
man, I gotta get my wife one of those. Why didn't you say something sooner!!

I think you should adopt a 13 year old to play with. Wait, that doesn't sound how I meant it to sound.

[Wookie]

Hmmmm - I shoulda read this thread before yesterday!

J/K

I'd love to have kids
I just haven't found a suitable womb worthy of hosting my offspring

[Sylvanfan]

I think it really depends on personality type. Some people probably are happy without, and some people can't see their lives without kids. I'm 31 and will be 32 in about 4 months. I've been married for just over 3 years and my wife is somewhat giving me the ultimatum these days. She claims that once she's 30 that she's too old. Which to me seems a bit dramatic. I say that we need another 18 months to get ourselves set up so that the whole adjustment would be a bit easier to handle both personaly and fiscally. Than again I grew up with having older parents and sort of like the fact that looking back my parents seemed to have their act together so that I didn't have to hear excuses like you're having ketchup for dinner tonight because Mom had to get her hair done and Dad went to the pub.

I like my relatively stress free lifestyle and everything....But I do wonder what I'd miss out on. I look at my mom now that my Dad has passed away and she's really not that old being 61. But if she didn't have my brother and I around, I imagine she'd be in a bad way. She herself even says she didn't want kids of her own when she was my age but she worked as a nurse in a nursing home and saw how the people who had no kids were just so miserable in their own age even though they had money they'd never spend, and had done all these great things. As I get older I find that I want less and less for myself and am more willing to share than I used to be.

[Dion]

I'm in my 40's and still child free - still single also. I do however have a niece and nephew that I get to spoil quite often.

Like you 4x4 i was harrassed by my parents as to when I was going to get married and provide them with grand children. One day I told them i'm going to live my life as i see fit and if they don't like it, too bad. They stopped soon afterwards.

Unlike you i've always wanted to have a family. I've had relationships over the years but they usually ended because my personal freedom won out. I was an independant person who didn't like to be tied down. Now, i'm having a change of heart on the whole settling down issue.

Being a volunteer in a nursing home i get to see the negatives of being child free. Lots of seniors stuck in rooms who are sad and lonely as they have no family to come and visit them. If it comes to that i hope i'm dead and six feet under.