A shout-out for our fathers - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Shawnski · 08-28-2005, 04:15 PM

I am lucky to still have my father with me. For almost two decades, he has battled cancer (prostate and now it's into his bones.) Many of you might recall the game thread where I disappeared for a while, only to come back and let you know that he just told me he had to start chemotherapy. That was quite a shock, and thanks again for all your well wishes from that night.

This shout-out for him is due to him not just perservering through it all, but for doing so with a vigor that I find in few people. I will tell you his story from the last week, and please, feel free to add your own.

He is a tough old nut. Rarely does he ever even peep about anything bothering him. At age 69, he still has a high pain threshold. This last week, I drove down to Castlegar to pick him up and take him out to Vancouver Island, where he had landed a golfing spot in the BC Seniors Summer Games. Wednesday, we played a round at Duncan Meadows for practice, then he had his first official tee off for the Games on Thursday. Throughout the summer, he had practiced hard and played in many tournaments to get ready. This was his time.

The first round was at Cowichan G & CC, a rather easy course compared to Duncan Meadows. Right off the get go, he didn't feel well. His lower right rib (where some bone cancer resides) started to bother him. All he had was aspirin for it, and after four holes, he was having trouble breathing, let alone swinging a club at full force. By the ninth hole, I thought he would pass out with each swing he took... his legs were buckling, and the yelping of pain was very hard to hear. I had never seen my Dad quit anything in his life. He played on... each swing more painful than the last. By the end of the round, he was finished. There appeared to be no tomorrow for his Games. Every time he swung, it was like a knife stabbing him in the side.

We went back to the hotel, ice packed him up, got the ibuprofen in him, and let him sleep. In the morning, his first words were "I'm done. We will call in and drop out due to medical problems."

Then he had a shower, which turned into a long hot bath. He started breathing somewhat easier now. Said "Maybe I can get taped up and play." Well, that is what we tried. Got down to Duncan Meadows, saw the medical team who wrapped his rib cage tight enough that he couldn't move the rib in a way that would hurt him when he breathed, then hit the driving range to test it out.

He chose to play on.

18 more holes later, and still not at his best, he finished the Games, but not in a manner that he thought was worthy of any prizing (Gold, Silver, Bronze). But he finished. He did what he had set out to do.

Right after he finished, we hi-tailed it to the ferry and headed back to Vancouver. Drove him back to Castlegar yesterday, and just got back into Calgary now. All along the trip I kept thinking about what a gutsy performance he gave.

So I get back here and hop onto the PC. What is the latest e-mail I have in my Inbox? It's from Dad. He won the Silver medal in his division afterall!!

I am a pretty proud son right now. Always have been, always will... but today, well, it is one of those special moments that I thought deserved a shout-out.

Perhaps some of you have yours too. Dads rule. Long live them all.

Calgary Flames · 08-28-2005, 04:39 PM

Yes, my dad is a major influence in my life... also battled cancer (testicular) when I was about 5 years old. He's always been there for me, so I owe him alot.

Congrats to your dad aswell Shawnski!!

Dad's rule!

MJK · 08-28-2005, 05:13 PM

It's always great to hear a story like that Shawnski. It's hard to imagine a world without my Dad in it.

My Dad is the reason why I am going to be such a great father someday. All I have to do is follow in his footsteps!

Buzzard · 08-28-2005, 06:52 PM

Great story.

I'd consider that a major battle victory in his personal war with the disease. Nice to hear the good stories in the fight against this rotten illness. I wish I had one to match. My wife's mother lost an eight month fight this morning. She was a trooper right to the end, but it was just too much. No-one should have to go through the pain and hell of cancer. Unfortunately, its much the opposite it seems.

Shawnski · 08-28-2005, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Buzzard@Aug 28 2005, 06:52 PM
My wife's mother lost an eight month fight this morning. She was a trooper right to the end, but it was just too much.

I am deeply remorseful for the loss of a loved one so close to you. For your wife, this is a very traumatic event. She obviously needs you now more than ever, and for many, many moons to come. As much as there is a bond between father and son, quite often the bond between mother and daughter is significantly stronger. She needs you now more than ever.

Never leave her out of your sight in the next while.

Truly sorry Buzzard,

Shawn

Displaced Flames fan · 08-28-2005, 07:34 PM

Just wow.

Your dad deserves a patented Shawnski Siren. Seriously.

My dad is only 55, but I haven't spent enough time with him yet and it is starting to wear on me. We live 1400 miles apart. I'm trying to change that, I just hope I get it done before it's too late.

If I'm half the man he is, I'll be just fine in life.

red '00 · 08-28-2005, 07:36 PM

My dad is a good guy, I love and respect him. We arn't as close as we could be, but he's always been pretty cool about things. (Not to mention had a level head when my mom was going off the handle, haha).

Big congrats to your dad! And best of luck next year!

Shawnski · 08-28-2005, 08:01 PM

Thanks everyone, I am sure my Dad will appreciate all your kind words of support.

Next year he will be in the 70-74 group in Abbotsford, and I really think he can win it all.

How about we give him a huge CalgaryPuck "YOU CAN DO IT!!" in next years event? At some point I am going to send him a link to this thread to show all of your support. Don't lurk on this one!!

KootenayFlamesFan · 08-28-2005, 08:24 PM

Great story, Shawn............your dad sounds like a good man, you're lucky to have him in your life.

He's from Castlegar? Stones throw from where I live........there are a lot of great dads from this area...........including mine!

Buzzard............wow, so so sorry to hear about your loss. Make sure you go way above the call of duty for your wife in the next little while...........she'll need you more than ever.

Really, really sorry.

Jagger · 08-28-2005, 08:35 PM

Great story Shawnski. Your dad sounds like an amazing person. Make every day count with him.

Buzzard: I'm so sorry for your loss. I can truly understand what you and your wife and going through. I lost my mother to lung cancer 15 years ago and that still resonates today. A day still doesn't go by when I don't think or remember her in some way. I regret that she never got to see my three children. She would have been so proud of them and it saddens me that they will never know their other grandmother. Your wife needs all your support right now. I'm so thankful that my wife was there for me.

JiriHrdina · 08-28-2005, 08:51 PM

Great story Shawnski. The important thing is to recognize how important your dad is before its too late. Thankfully in recent years I pulled my head out of my ass and realized what a cool guy he is. Should still hang out with him more though....

Deeply sorry for your loss Buzzard.

Cowperson · 08-28-2005, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Buzzard@Aug 28 2005, 05:52 PM
Great story.

I'd consider that a major battle victory in his personal war with the disease. Nice to hear the good stories in the fight against this rotten illness. I wish I had one to match. My wife's mother lost an eight month fight this morning. She was a trooper right to the end, but it was just too much. No-one should have to go through the pain and hell of cancer. Unfortunately, its much the opposite it seems.

Hmmm . . . . sorry to hear of your loss Bertuzzied.

Just learned this evening a lifelong friend of my mothers and a lady who gave me a kindly hand early on in life passed away of cancer today after a short battle of only a few weeks.

Earlier this year, a co-worker and mother of two, aged 38 I believe, a vivacious and active woman, passed away of brain cancer.

A few years ago we went to see a fellow we knew through a co-worker and days after our visit, where he seemed vibrant and humourous, he was given weeks to live and didn't even last that long. Also cancer.

As to Shawnski, good for your father for pulling through. My own father passed away two years ago at age 69, not of cancer but of a rare affliction that came upon him suddenly. Certainly too young for an active guy like him.

Life can be too short and too surprising at times.

Cowperson

Eddie Bronze · 08-28-2005, 10:09 PM

I honestly had cold chills go up my back at the end of your story Shawnski. I know what it's like to have a pops who is a determined and stubborn ole son-of-a-gun, but he's never fought anything quite like cancer. Recently my dad found out he's got diabetes and I remember when they did find out, it hit him so hard, mom was calling me worrying we were going to lose him within days. Thankfully he pulled through it, but things like this really put everything else into perspective.

Anyway, here's to your dad crushing the competition at the tournament next year. Good luck to him, and I don't mean only with his golfing.

photon · 08-28-2005, 10:12 PM

Dads rock, yes they do.