People will tell your wife that she needs some contraption that warms for the butt wipes, and a pad in the crib to measure the babies breathing patterns, and some special "natural" food diet, and super expensive bottles that have more precise flow rates.... and all of it will cost an arm and a leg, and every one of them is lying to you or virtue signaling.
But you definitely want a swing or some form of device that will rock the baby when you set them down. That crucial.
We bought a fancy motorized rocker....we probably got about 10 total rocks of about 15-30 minutes each in it...not worth it. Babies outgrow stuff insanely fast. Buy as much used stuff as you can. You won't use most of it very long.
With the exception of a car seat and a stroller, I wouldn't buy anything new. Buy a good stroller though. Spend money on the superior breast pump too.
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Squeeze a wipe in your hand for 3 seconds and it'll be warmed up to body temperature...no need for a $50 contraption.
Those head sculpting things are legit medical devices though.
Those warmers are more like $25 than $50.
I get that the helmet thing is a medical instrument for flat heads. But what's weird is seemingly lots of kids getting them without flat head and instead to prevent flat head. That's the weird part. It makes sense it can prevent flat head, but it's over a thousand dollars for the helmet...
Oh man. There's a trillion things to be said, but congrats and everything will be all right is probably the main theme of everything.
There's thousands of tricks. Most of us are probably just sharing the ones we liked the most or wished we knew earlier.
On the day of the birth, take notes, pictures and videos (ie: notepad app on your phone). It'll be a whirlwind, both of you will likely be sleep deprived. Everyone wants to know the details to the minute and you'll forget. If you're often at the storage limits of yours or your partner's phone, upgrade one before birth for better photos and videos. My spouse took more photos and videos in about one year than she had done so in the past 10 years. Every single thing and stage and angle she took a picture of. Upgrade that phone or pre-compress media and upgrade that cloud storage so that you have enough space on the phone.
No one wants to talk about some parts of the story, but as the non-birthing spouse, you honestly will likely get forgotten as the focus will rightfully be on baby and mom. It's not personal. That will pass. Focus more on what your spouse and kids think that what others think.
Assuming nothing. Open communication with spouse. Miscommunication in minor details can have big domino effects. As new parents, many things become less gross quickly. Poop/vomit other gross convos over meals are more funny rather than topics that takes away appetite now.
Not everything is sunshine and rainbows. Rain is normal. Anyone saying otherwise is full of crap. Figure out coping strategies and mental health strategies early and implement them.
Keep an eye out for baby blues/post partum depression in your partner and yourself. Journal frequently. Both your memories are going to be quite bad for the first bit with sleep deprivation. Many do not realize the challenges of breast feeding. For your two little ones, try teaching them to be independent ASAP and figure out how to include them in assisting in the challenging process. My spouse and I tried to shield our first from the chaos and we had him sleep over with grandparents at night for a month so that he'd get enough sleep. That was a major mistake on our part. The first month of error probably took 3-4 months to undo. Once he started to understand that he wasn't being replaced etc. things got way, way better.
Certain things on paper seem like a good idea, until you implement them. Then they're really dumb ideas. When #### hits the fan, laugh it off and revise your approach as needed. Don't over think the little things. The nature of babies is chaos. It is your role as parent to control chaos in a manageable manner. We can do our best and chaos will succeed, but chaos doesn't adapt like we can. Life can be absolute ####. You're sleep deprived, you're covered in spit up, you're hangry... and then the little one smiles in their sleep... and suddenly it might feel like all of that melts away and it's all good. Hang in there! Every stage will seem like the best and the worst stage during and via hindsight.
Rely on your gut. There's a dozen+ different variations on how to do things. When truly in doubt, call the early start help line or 811. However, babies are not as fragile as many think they are. They're much more capable of surviving that you think. In hindsight, my spouse and I laugh at how freaked out at everything we were for our first. Sanitizing, calling the poor people at the early start helpline demanding to know if things were normal, but no, they didn't understand... our kid was probably sick... etc. and then we went all "meh" for our second and the second has be surviving fine (if not better than the first). Do what feels right for you and your spouse. Remember that she holds the veto though. Babies can understand body language though. So if you're anxious and stressed, baby might be too. If you're more relaxed and happy, baby may absorb a lot of that too.
I believe we modern parents are the first ones to have decision paralysis. Dozens of way to do the same things and there's too much info out there, everyone has an opinion even if they don't necessarily deserve one. Don't get me started on the overwhelming different variations of the same technology or daily use items. The only universal rule is being consistent.
Some people deserve to be told STFU, but be tactful about it if required. I am not kind to some strangers should be told to STFU though.
Have open conversations with anyone trying to help. But if everyone is all over the place or people are overstepping boundaries, it makes the whole process chaotic and overwhelming. Most new grandparents don't recall a damn thing from raising you or your spouse. The vast majority likely will be happy to do exactly what you say. Lots of new parents worry about having to ask the grandparents to do things differently and delay for weeks to have the conversation. Almost all I spoke with said the conversation was pretty easy and some were actually excited to learn the new ways... So they were annoyed they didn't have the chat earlier.
The grandparents that make a fuss honestly are the ones that truly need to be sat down and told it's not about them. TBH, it might even be easier to divide and conquer. Grandparents help with cleaning and food, parents focus on navigating baby. For me, I had to tell one grandparent that it was not OK to be rushing into my room at 2-5 in the morning as soon as they heard a squawk and be exhausted and frazzled for the rest of the day (and technically be another person we had to take care of). We had to say that between midnight and 7 AM, stay out of the master bed room. We would do nights the way we wanted to do nights.
Consider a minivan. Seats 7-8 vs your family of 5; lower profile than SUV means lifting carriers/strollers/diaper bags etc. a lower height and trunk in floor vs at waist height means less stuff falls all over the place when door is opened; sliding door is a game changer for pulling out a carrier/bag+ without having to hold the door or making sure the kids don't slam doors into other cars; no need to play Tetris or Blockus to put things into trunk; more HP and space to haul everything you need and keep back up items than most vehicles on the market.
Congrats again!
Very good advice. There are negatives about reading too many books and articles on how to raise a baby. Your baby is unique. You will figure it out, maybe not right away, but you will persevere and it will work out.
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We called 811 quite a few times in the first few months, I'm sure those people can hear a new parent in the first 0.5 seconds of a call.
I tried to talk my partner away from making our call to them...the counter-argument that if something happens to the baby it's my fault was difficult to argue with.
Also don't buy a device or app that interprets your baby's cries and tells you what they want lol.
Well yeah, if you buy a cheap knock off it won't do the trick.
Gotta buy brand name with this stuff:
Seriously, raising a baby is like live TV. Whatever you're doing it right (unless it's blindingly obvious that it's not). Every one is different, every baby is different, so long as their fed, clean, needs are met, and are loved, you're doing things right.
__________________ "Calgary Flames is the best team in all the land" - My Brainwashed Son
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We called 811 quite a few times in the first few months, I'm sure those people can hear a new parent in the first 0.5 seconds of a call.
We called 811 one night when we were pretty worried about something.
There was a 30 min wait so we just drove to BC Children's ER (which we live close to).
I was really second guessing if we should do that, were we overreacting, wasting their time etc. but I'm so glad we went.
They got us in right away and told us they're glad we came.
With new babies they don't want to take chances and totally advised us to come back again if ever in doubt.
Thankfully everything was fine with our son and I'm glad we just went to make sure.
As much as you don't want to overreact, you sure as he'll don't want to underreact, so my advice is just call or go if you're in doubt.
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We bought a fancy motorized rocker....we probably got about 10 total rocks of about 15-30 minutes each in it...not worth it. Babies outgrow stuff insanely fast. Buy as much used stuff as you can. You won't use most of it very long.
With the exception of a car seat and a stroller, I wouldn't buy anything new. Buy a good stroller though. Spend money on the superior breast pump too.
We were handed down one of these and it's the best thing ever.
Has like 10 different songs, 4 different rocker modes, even auto detects the baby crying and changes settings.
Our son loves it and it has been a lifesaver for us to put him down and get things done with 2 arms free.
He can be in it for hours if we'd let him.
But his cousin who we got it from didn't take to it at all.
I don't even know how much it must have cost but was pretty useless for them.
So part of the money waste in all this is not every baby will like the same stuff and than they outgrow as you mentioned.
But for us lucky 2nd handers, it's probably my favorite baby item we have.
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As much as you don't want to overreact, you sure as he'll don't want to underreact, so my advice is just call or go if you're in doubt.
For sure, lack of experience usually means to err on the side of caution.
I remember once where he picked up some bug (rotavirus?) and it was coming out both ends, couldn't even keep down water.. that whole week was a blur I think we ended up in emergency 3 different times, last time at the Children's and they finally got things under control.. they said he was totally dehydrated and basically starving (which made sense he couldn't keep anything down). They said it was good that we were "better safe than sorry".
__________________ Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position.
But certainty is an absurd one.
Another one - Check out the revolve 360 carseat. Rotating carseat is a gamechanger and I couldn't imagine buying anything else. It's not a big deal putting a newborn in a carseat but once they're over 20lbs it becomes a pain.
We called 811 quite a few times in the first few months, I'm sure those people can hear a new parent in the first 0.5 seconds of a call.
there is a reason why we moved to a house 2 mins away from the Children's.
A few times our kids had super high fevers for days and Tylenol just didn't cut it. Also almost everytime they both got this awful croup cough where they cough like an 80 year old chain smoker or a dog choking on a milkbone.
Check the AHS app for a 15 minute or under wait time. Walk over to the Childrens' they give them some miracle drug where they just sweat it all out in 20 mins. Give them a popsicle and they are back to normal within an hour.
__________________ Peter12 "I'm no Trump fan but he is smarter than most if not everyone in this thread. ”
The best advice I was ever given is at 3-4 months, begin sleep training. I’m a big believer in the “cry it out” method, even though some would have you believe it is evil.
Both my kids now sleep through the night following a rough maybe 2-3 nights and suddenly you get your evenings back.
Shake my head when I see parent that never do this and have kids that won’t sleep anywhere but with them
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Wow, there's so much good advice in this thread! Thanks for contributing, everyone.
My partner definitely seems to have a handle on how she'd like to approach things with this baby, but she's also realistic enough to know that plans can and should change if things aren't working. I think the trickiest thing for me will be to gently persuade her to let me in on some of this stuff. Not to get too far in the weeds, but there were a lot of things with her two other kids that she had to do by herself out of necessity; that's not the case anymore, so I'm hoping we can figure that out in a healthy way.
My partner is also a small business owner, so instead of her getting the maternity & parental benefit, I'm going to be taking the full 37 weeks of parental leave. Plus I have 4 weeks vacation, so I'll have almost an entire year at home. I'm expecting that I'll be helping out with the two older ones (getting them to the babysitter and school etc), especially once mom starts booking work again.
As far as sleep training and location of the bassinet/crib, the plan for the immediate future is to have the baby in the bassinet in our room, and eventually convert our laundry room (which was originally a bedroom that I converted to a laundry room about a year before we met) back into a bedroom for baby this spring.
Thanks again to everyone that has replied to this thread, I know that I'll be coming back here once things kick off to pick people's brains and I hope that it can be a resource for others going through the same or similar thing.
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Tons of good tidbits of information in here already so I wont go too crazy.
But I will emphasize what I think the BIGGEST and BEST advice I received but also experienced going through it twice with 2 Covid babies
"Everyone has a better way of doing it" - After spending over 8 weeks in the NICU with my first I think the most frustrating aspect of it was the fact that just about every nurse had their own preference in the "best" way to:
swaddle
change diaper
which formula is better
which diapers are better
how to soothe the baby
how to hold the baby
how to breast feed the baby (3 different consultants helped my wife, all said something different and discredited the previous one)
This led to some serious post partum depression for my wife because she felt she could never do it "the right way" or the way she was being told.
With our 2nd child we just did it her/our way and it was far more relaxed and controlled.
So if I had to reiterate and give 1 big point of advice it would be:
"You'll figure it out whichever way works best for you, and enjoy every minute"
My boys are now 3.5 and 1.5 and its gone by so fast it scares me.
Just support your wife and be there when you can, take care of her while she takes care of the feeding the little one for the first few days.
You'll nail it
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We were handed down one of these and it's the best thing ever.
Has like 10 different songs, 4 different rocker modes, even auto detects the baby crying and changes settings.
Our son loves it and it has been a lifesaver for us to put him down and get things done with 2 arms free.
He can be in it for hours if we'd let him.
But his cousin who we got it from didn't take to it at all.
I don't even know how much it must have cost but was pretty useless for them.
So part of the money waste in all this is not every baby will like the same stuff and than they outgrow as you mentioned.
But for us lucky 2nd handers, it's probably my favorite baby item we have.
Our baby is a total Diva, so she is very particular about things and won't tolerate us trying to pass her off to an easier solution. She's also hyper social and requires near constant attention.
Whenever we have people over, she's always very social and lets everyone hold her. So everyone always tells us what a "chill" baby we have...if only that were the case.
Wow, there's so much good advice in this thread! Thanks for contributing, everyone.
My partner definitely seems to have a handle on how she'd like to approach things with this baby, but she's also realistic enough to know that plans can and should change if things aren't working. I think the trickiest thing for me will be to gently persuade her to let me in on some of this stuff. Not to get too far in the weeds, but there were a lot of things with her two other kids that she had to do by herself out of necessity; that's not the case anymore, so I'm hoping we can figure that out in a healthy way.
My partner is also a small business owner, so instead of her getting the maternity & parental benefit, I'm going to be taking the full 37 weeks of parental leave. Plus I have 4 weeks vacation, so I'll have almost an entire year at home. I'm expecting that I'll be helping out with the two older ones (getting them to the babysitter and school etc), especially once mom starts booking work again.
As far as sleep training and location of the bassinet/crib, the plan for the immediate future is to have the baby in the bassinet in our room, and eventually convert our laundry room (which was originally a bedroom that I converted to a laundry room about a year before we met) back into a bedroom for baby this spring.
Thanks again to everyone that has replied to this thread, I know that I'll be coming back here once things kick off to pick people's brains and I hope that it can be a resource for others going through the same or similar thing.
I often summarize the transition to kids as “The workout that never ends and the jetlag that doesn’t go away”. Life with kids (especially new born) is life on hard/expert mode. Many tell me I’m not making it seem exciting to have kids. Well, it is super rough and difficult, but like a long hike or hitting all your workout targets, it’s absolutely rewarding and worth it and worth celebrating at every milestone.
Sorry for the novel, I am a crazy person.
If you really, really want to get an idea how to approach the early sleep deprivation, weed hangover yourself for a week and go through the day to day grind. That's a glimpse into it.
There's always tricks and methods to do it better. But embrace what you're doing and only go with what you feel comfortable with. I solved hundred of seemingly small silly things for "no reason" or duplicated many things to reduce having to do extra traveling to grab it because I wanted to.
With baby, you end up doing things 10-50 times a day. If you save half a minute to a minute each repetition, you can save enough and energy to avoid injury and/or accumulate enough for an extra 30 minutes to a few hours of extra sleep per week which can make a huge difference.
I have a few things I tried. $250-1,000 total to implement some of these improvements over the year I think were extra, but were super worth it to me and my wife. I even changed layouts of furniture to facilitate the day to day stuff.
Feel free to ask me questions about minor things to see if I ever tried to resolve them. I’ve shared all of these tricks and more with many friends. I’m more than happy to share more if you’re willing to listen to a crazy person.
Random stuff I seriously recommend:
Spoiler!
- Power lifting belt and lifting wrist straps. $30-50 a set.
I get laughed at for this one... but I blew out my back within two weeks after baby showed up. People laughed. Said a baby is like 10 pounds and not heavy... You end up leaning in all sorts of different directions over the next months that you're not used. You do 10,000 reps of 10 pounds a week with baby. This to with weighted items ranging from 5 pounds to 35 pounds with or without baby. You’ll be hunched over a hundred times a day for hours a day. A carrier that connects to a car seat base alone is anywhere between 16-26 pounds. Add baby into it, it's basically a giant kettle bell. Stroller, bassinet, moving furniture, assembling new "things", bending down to pick up the next Amazon order for the stuff you didn't realize you ran out of until a day or two before, leaning down to pick up a baby at knee/waist height in bassinet or crib, laundry, washing, food, squats with baby to put them to sleep (yeah that's a thing), forward tilt with baby in cloth carrier... that all adds up to the most messed up work out and body positioning you've ever experienced. Power lifting belt allows you to use your abs to share the load with your lower back and/or allows your lower back to recover when strained. Wrist straps are the same. I strained my wrists lifting and holding baby in unnatural positions for long periods of time. It seems minor, but a minor sore ailment while dealing with sleep deprivation and a few dozen other things sucks.
For holding a carrier there are two carrying methods, one uses forearm (reach through handle and put hand on side of carrier) then other uses bicep (curl movement). Use them both to reduce strain on muscles.
- An insane amount of sandwich and freezer bags ranging from snack size to XL freezer size (bigger than L). $5-8 per box. 2-3 boxes monthly; favourite sizes are snack size and freeze XL (Superstore/Shoppers seems to be the only place for steady supply). Honorable mention, scented doggie poop bags $5-10 for a bunch of rolls.
These are amazing for storage and keeping things clean and compartmentalizing. I keep a whole bunch in the diaper bags and often use, give them away and/or have to throw them away when things get ugh.
For the thinner ones like sandwich size, I find it is too big at times for smaller things like clippers, pacifiers, diaper cream, baby tylenol/advil + syringe etc. Excess plastic means holes poke in. Dirt, kid liquids and lint and dust gets on it. Using a proper size like snack size for those small implements I get less issues with that. Freezer size L and sandwich size (ie: Bulk at Costco) are usually more useful for putting multiple items together in a "compartment".
Freezer size L is OK if oversized as it's designed to be thicker and not rip. I like using them in diaper bags for things like organizing diapers and swaddle/cloths/bottles. I use multiple because I can segregate dirty bottles/swaddles and cloth wipes/dirty diapers/clothes if required. XL size I've used in a pinch as a pad under baby if the pad in the diaper bag inexplicably goes missing. XL is also great for swaddles and blankets and spare sweaters and you can push out air so it doesn't expand and take up all of the space in a diaper bag.
Doggie poop bags are excellent for diapers such as poop diapers and wipes without letting scent out or smear poop. They’re also ultra compact, especially if you have them in the plastic dispenser. Those are often thrown out with the L size when exposed to yuck. L size freezer bags are great for dirty clothes and stuff. I don't bother reusing them because I guess I'm not an environmentalist. I throw the clothes/cloths in the wash and then I throw out the bag. I often give away these to friends when they have a yuck mess as well and aren't sure how to segregate the yuck from rest of stuff in diaper bag, so the supply of bags is used fast.
- 10 foot charging cables (3 in 1 if you use multiple plugs). Probably $40 for 2-4 locations.
Easy to pull up phone if need be in bed without restricted range of motion. Put close to areas of frequent lounging (ie: glider chairs), around corners by chores/in view of baby in bassinet/rocker etc.
- Robot vacuum ($150-350); make sure to clean dust filter often, not just empty bin.
One, no time to always clean. Two once baby starts to crawl, less dirty stuff on floor for baby to touch. I run this often when baby is napping in a different room. I made sure to have baby get used to regular voice level of sounds when sleeping. This is norm in busy places like Asia… plus you don’t want baby to wake up from naps from the quietest of sounds. Living like you’re walking on egg shells is not got for mental health and getting two young kids below 5 to do it is hard.
- The push present.
This is expensive and a concept that has completely gone mad with the pandemic! Chat with your wife to see what her expectations are. I've seen presents ranging from $250 to $5000. Ask what your wife expects. The early phone upgrade might not qualify either. Ask specifically what your wife will accept as the push present, or if she doesn't want one at all. Don't assume this concept.
Simple ish practical tech upgrades/worth looking into (multi use daily):
Spoiler!
- Amazon Echo/Google Home with smart light bulb(s). $50 ish all in
This allows you to turn on the light when it's dark using voice command vs stumbling around in the dark for the switch. Smart bulbs are also easily dimmed which is helpful. Amazon Echo have "whisper mode" in gen 2 and later... not sure if Google home has it too.
Loading up white noise and asking certain was great too (white noise, car ride, pink noise, lullaby sounds, turn on lights, what time is it, what is temp?, what is weather? etc.)
- Halo swaddle or any swaddle in cloth/fleece etc. depending on season/temp in home.
Basically swaddle with velcro sides so baby can't easily wiggle out. $20-40 per swaddle. Buy to try, only add more for convenience and when you know that it's worth it. This helps a ton to get the swaddle right and less likely for baby to wiggle out and then freak out because of the morrow reflex.
- 20-40 reusable wipes (ie: the cheapest fricken face cloths/hand towels/shred a t-shirt/shred a towel/extra swaddles you can find). <$5 each. Baby laundry detergent or white vinegar (low aroma cleaning stuff, vinegar works great and is ultra cheap).
When burping baby, liquids happen. You put it in front of baby to quickly soak it up. Cleaning pee and poo and food and other crap. Grab a slightly dingy swaddle or cloth or onezie or whatever to sop it up and just wash, wash, wash however many times a day is required. Leave little dual baskets of these extra wipes in convenient locations (clean and dirty; maybe color code because sleep deprivation). You often may end up using up to two in a session. Sessions may be a few minutes apart.
- Disposable diapers and wet wipes... Economies of scale. $20-40 per box.
You'll be using 6-12 per day to avoid diaper rash in the first 1-2 months or so and it drops by half at every 3-4 month interval... unless you want to do a ton of laundry with cloth diapers. 2-3 boxes of size 1 with 100-160 seem like a lot? That's a week and a half to two weeks of supply. Size 1 and 2 are safer (sizes based on weight). Don't be surprised if you blow through 6-8 boxes in 4 months. Buying extra of a size isn't a bad thing. You can easily go to most stores that sell diapers and ask to swap sizes of unopened boxes even without a receipt so don't worry about buying too much and then having diapers too small.
Pampers is a "U" shaped diaper. Huggies is a "V" shaped contour diaper. Preference or no preference is fine. Some parents report that certain diapers leak more than others. Just go with whatever works fine and don't "try" another brand for fun if you have no issues. I do not recommend other brand cheap diapers. So many more anecdotes of parents who have to deal with poop blasts up the back of baby than the Huggies/Pampers standard. Costco is Huggies. Amazon/Superstore/Walmart are both. I usually do Superstore and then buy 2-4 or 6 boxes at a time and easily redeem those $300 freebie deals or get insane PC points bonuses on baby buys.
An entire full sized box of wet wipes lasts around a month in the first 4 months or so. Kirkland is thinner and more durable. Huggies is fluffier and softer. Huggies has more liquid per wipe so you might use less wipes per wipe. Overall usage between the two types is about the same with Kirkland closer to a select a size paper towel type of situation vs Huggies a forced full size. Costco sells full sized boxes. Huggies often has an extra discount so I'll grab 2-3 boxes at a time. Superstore/Amazon/Walmart often only have half size boxes of wipes which is much more expensive at around 15-25% more per package.
- Diaper bag. $40, but $60 ish now because Covid.
I bought one on Amazon with multi slots, a cooler section, lots of zippers and it looked unisex. Looks like a solid normal slightly kiddy back pack. I'm not worried about my masculinity for unisex bags... but TBH, they will continue to be useful back pack and not look weirdly out of place after kids start growing up.
I don't like it as much. It works fine and acceptable with caveats. No separation means always digging. The mouth design means it opens on it own on occasion if the zippers are on top instead of side. I paired it up with a giant carabiner to keep it from opening and to attach it to the stroller.
I have TWO diaper bags. One for daily use. One I leave in the vehicle as a reserve for spare wipes and formula packets/clean bottles/spare diapers (multiple sizes on occasion for friends)/snacks/toys/power bank with 3 in 1 cable to charge phones, tablets etc. and other stuff I might need.
- Thermometers $20-40 each x 2 and temperature gun $30 ish on sale
I got the temperature gun so that I could check the approximate temp of the kids while sleeping without touching and disturbing them. If their temp is not one I'm not comfortable with, then I'll wake up the child to use the proper thermometer for the more accurate reading.
I have 2-3 thermometers because they're always going missing and/or I can bring one with me in diaper bag. The cheap ones are slow and take up to a minute to get a reading. Hard to get accurate reading if child doesn't want to be touched. I'm tempted to buy the really fast fast ear one for accurate temps in 10 seconds or less.
Advanced (totally unnecessary... but it was really nice to have):
Spoiler!
Reheating breast milk/making formula at night... in your room; estimated savings 5-15 minutes per night:
- Bar fridge or mini fridge $100-250; folding table $40-60; Vacuum kettle showing temp with smart plug + Swell bottle $40-50 + Plastic microwave safe measuring cup $10-15 + thermometer $5-10 (optional) + shoe box sized container or plastic/metal mixing bowls for clean and dirty bottles $2-3
If you're reheating breast milk or pumping at night and aren't on the same floor, going up and down stairs for things sucks. A mini fridge is great to store on same floor with far less travel. Also, lots of stairs while in a state of sleep deprivation/child hangover is kinda scary. Lots of the baby versions were stupid expensive for limited use after baby ages. Most of these items are still useful or more easily sellable after baby transitions past bottle stage.
I use folding table to put the implements/supplies on or below. Height adjustable table is great if possible. Then there is option for breast pump to be adjusted to more convenient height. Bar fridge to store pumped milk without spoiling. Hot/warm water in kettle (waiting on hot water from tap did not always make sense) poured into measuring cup to heat breast milk made it easier. Glass is more insulative. Plastic was easier to have liquids heat/cool to more accurate body temp in less time. Less likely to overheat (ALWAYS DO HEAT TEST ON WRIST) so baby won’t be scalded.
Swell bottle specifically is insanely good for retaining accurate temperature for 12+ hours. When making formula, I often liked to preload scoops into the bottle and then just use the previously temped 35-40C ish temperature water (it cools after it is made). This is to easily make formula for the entire night at the correct temperature. Other bottle I found fluctuated too easily in temperature. It easily saves 3-5 minutes once you get it set up (which if crying hungry baby is an eternity). This is where measuring cup also doubles up and is useful for pouring directly into swell bottle after measuring temp. Vacuum kettle wise. I just turn it on when needed and use the water at 100-105F (if not displaying in C). Vacuum kettle boils faster and is minutely quieter than regular kettle.
I highly recommend rinsing off used bottles with warm/hot tap water before going back to sleep because it is milk. Wash properly again next day with mild soap or light white vinegar solution next day for sanitizing if needed.
Hands free baby/rocking in room around house; savings immeasurable/10-45 minutes at a time
- Baby rocker/swing/bouncer. $50-150 each.
Some babies are good in any of the 3. Some like a specific one of the 3. But if you can get baby to like this, it's really nice to be able to put baby down and check up every little bit. Being able to put baby down to do chores etc. nap is so great.
- Hands free “cloth” carrier. $30-300 each.
Ranging from clip on ones to cloth you can tie to strap baby to your body. Having two hands to do things is awesome for things like quickly putting together formula, rinsing stuff, throwing away a diaper etc. You can survive without it, but it's great to have it. More expensive I find the build is better and the design makes it easier to get baby in and out of carrier by yourself. I had the basic Baby Bjorn which was like $150 and I liked it a lot better than the cheaper $40 carrier. However, the $40 carrier is better to be left in the car as a “oops we forget” back up than a duplicate $150 carrier.
- Graco pack and play w/ bassinet attachment $100-250 (blame Covid). I bought 2-3.
This is nice because you can have the item to do things without major duplicates once transitioning to next stages. I used this on the main floor away from the main diaper table, bassinet etc. as a compact station. I had one for the main floor, one in the van for visiting and I left one at the grandparents place that we frequently would visit.
At home, I store extra stuff like boxes of diapers and wipes under the bassinet attachment. Good place to put spare stuff when traveling so you don’t trip on it as well. It is a good place to put baby down for naps vs having to run back upstairs to crib (if no bouncer or rocker). It is a good place to change baby if you don’t have too much space to have multiple diaper changing stations, but it is a little low. Useful to have on trips. If frequently going to someone place (ie: extended family, kid less friend etc.) who doesn’t have baby set ups, it’s nice to be able to leave on at their place instead of trekking one back and forth (You’ll have diaper bag, carrier, gifts, holding on spouse if woozy etc.). Folds into a small item that can be stored easily and out of place.
- Glider chair vs Rocking chair vs other options ($150-550)
I bought a glider chair for around $400 rather than the rocker, it’s preference like the bouncer/swing chair. It was nice. It’s comfy, but we honestly don’t really use it and it’s unwieldy to move. It’s a home office chair now that’s use for storage… It was helpful for movement to aid sore muscles while having support. We’d sit in it and glide baby to sleep. Wife liked the movement while pumping. Sitting on side of bed was not ergonomic and it got painful. The rocking does help with physical ailments. Yes, you’re tired from moving around, but you need a range of motion so that your body doesn’t lock up.
However, in hindsight, if you don’t need a full-sized rocking chair or glider, a rocking knee chair is great. Less expensive and easier to move around, store/sell, reuse etc. Accomplishes most of the same thing and easy to tuck away. No arm rests, but that’s what the folding table will be for.
It's big, bulky and kinda slow. Our generation did not have this and we survived fine. Most babies are not this fragile. Using hot water over 60C is good enough to clean most things. Boiling water to sterilize in specific applications is also fine. A metal mixing bowl, rubber gloves and boiling water seems adequate to me in the event.
We got lazy with doing this with our second and we didn't have any extra illness. If anything, less illness from the second than first. Second hand or cheap is fine. I would not pay the $40 or whatever plus to acquire one. Keep in mind once baby is on the floor, they are essentially licking the floor which will not be cleaner than a washed bottle.
- Pee pee teepee. $3-6 each but in packs of 5.
So dumb, so expensive, launches like a bottle rocket easily. Use a folded cloth or a diaper instead.
- Diaper genie. $60-120 depending on accessories and how much refill you get.
Seriously, F this thing. DO NOT buy new. Gift. Fine. Used fine. New? No. It jams easily. Stink comes out of this so easily (only when kids do solid foods, formula and breast feeding, poop and pee doesn't really stick).
Buy a decent sized garbage from IKEA (30L size+) and use the garbage bags with a draw string. Toss the stinky diaper into a scented doggy poop bag before tossing into garbage (if not rushing them outside immediately right away because extra traveling sucks and is tiring). $20-30 bucks worth of scented doggie poop bags is like a year or two supply and it works better than the diaper genie.
- Bottle warmer $30-70+
Seriously F these things. They’re scary. They’re basically smaller uncovered kettles for you to put the bottle in to quickly warm up cold milk. I scalded myself too many times on these and I’ve accidentally heated up the liquids to 50-70C+ before. Water splashes out of them.
Forget “damaging nutrients” (if this is legit), accidentally giving this to baby would give me PTSD. This is why putting hot water in a plastic container with bottle is safer. Assuming the plastic/water temp is approx same as milk, then it’s safe. It should hit closer to room temp at approx time that the milk is at the temp needed. Less likely to mess up when sleep deprived.
We just booked Hawaii for end of November, our little guy turns 6 months the day we get there, this will be his first flight.
Should add, we booked him a seat instead of saving the money since the flight is pretty long.
What/who will you bring with you? Just you, spouse and baby? Or will someone be coming with you to help?
I'm a bit cray. I don't like travel surprises and I like being able to do things fast to reduce worst case scenarios.
Before going:
Spoiler!
Read fine print of travel insurance. Some cards suck. PC financial world card for instance is inexplicably only like half coverage of some of the typical travel cards.
Plan to do ultra fast security check. This isn't just for others, it's beneficial for you because there's extra stuff you might need to have checked out at security (ie: milk). I personally have specific clothes specifically for airport leg of my journey that make things easier so I don't have to spend a ton of time or juggle 8+ bins worth of stuff.
Comfy clothing with no metal/buttons or belts (ie: Lulu pants). Completely emptied pockets (ie: a fanny pack that you can easily clip on and off to toss all pocket items into bin in a split second such as wallet, passport, phone, keys, coins). Shoes that are easy to put on and take off hands free (ie: flip flops, crocs etc.). Ultra compact jacket that doesn't take up all the carry on space if I'm not wearing it. Easy one handed pull resealable bags for laptop (helps glide vs snag), baby liquids and normal liquids and gels to toss in bin and back in bag with ease.
All sorts of things will beep and need to be checked thoroughly. Put most baby things into freezer bags (L and XL sizes) to compartmentalize and keep as clean as possible from germs. Cloth things can have air squeezed out. Bring 2-3 extras of either size just in case.
At airport
Spoiler!
Assuming no rule changes, breast milk and formula is relaxed/exempt from liquids and gels restriction. Check the airline rules. But they do have to bring it out and check and whatnot, so treat it like a laptop where having the ability to easily pull it out and separate into a different bin at security makes it painless for everyone.
You can keep the stroller to the gate which is so much more convenient than checking it in with luggage. But I recommend stroller should be easily emptied in a minute or less (ie: All possessions are in diaper bags and carry on bags) for security and at gate. This is less for not bugging other travelers in security (though a nice side effect) and more for that chance if somehow there's a delay and you have to rush through security to catch a plane/connection.
Electrical outlets are not always in convenient places in airports. Cord can help bring electricity closer to your seat for charging phones, plug in breast pump etc. If the outlets are taken up, the extension cord means you can share with whoever is there first and not have to keep wandering. Easy to store the cord with the stroller by using velcro zip ties to attach it to stroller so it won't be easily lost and won't take up space in carry on.
Bring a big compact snack for you and spouse, maybe baby if they're doing solids. I highly recommend 2-3 rolls of arrow root cookies (half a box ish?). Easy to fit into carry on. You and spouse can crush a roll each to stave off and delay hunger if something goes wrong and you cannot quickly send someone to grab a bite to eat.
Both practice using diaper bag if not your normal bag so you aren't confused where stuff is, missing refilling diaper/wipes and stuff and other stresses in an unfamiliar place. I've walked into bathrooms and then walked out to ask wife to bring baby for diaper change because some men's bathrooms have no change station.
Consider breast feeding at lift off and landing to address pressure changes.
I spent $30 and bought baby ear protection but that ear muff thing isn't very practical. Somewhat useful if baby is up and about (assuming baby won't dislike it and swipe at it to knock it off). Doesn't stay on ears if baby is in the car carrier.
Yes, the plane is a little loud, but it should not be enough to hurt baby hearing. If you do want something to dampen noise, I'd recommend a super stretchy nursing cover that can go over the carrier. Something like this:
When baby is in carrier, this is on carrier. If baby is in cloth carrier or breast feeding, then over head should help to reduce noise without smothering.
If all else fails... a controversial last line of defense can be having baby Benadryl on hand. Dose and hope the drowsy helps knock baby out for the flight. This is like a plan D situation though and more for if baby cries for an hour and is inconsolable and uncomfortable on the plane. Yes, not proper use of Benadryl, but it's only potentially twice over a wider duration. Would you rather using this way, or baby absolutely miserable for entire duration of flight to Hawaii? Pros and cons, your call.
At destination
Spoiler!
Rent large vehicle or a van if renting a vehicle. Don't play Tetris/Blockus with all the stuff. If Costco prices aren't the best, check AMA website and sort by price to check for hidden gems. Unlike other websites, AMA website inexplicably doesn't sort by price. I paid slightly extra to get rental closer to airport. With only wife and I, stroller, baby + carrier (together and/or separate), luggage x 2+, 3+ carry on (carry on + pump and formula stuff) etc. is doable but really unwieldly for only two people. There were some instances where we didn't have enough hands even with luggage carts/it was wobbly and I used luggage belts/straps to tow a caravan of our stuff. Shuttle bus sucks with all that stuff when landing and leaving.
I traveled with a Graco travel system (carrier/car seat, stroller) rather than renting a car seat on the other side. Graco system is so much lighter and compact than other systems. A heavier and bigger stroller, car seat system would be tough in many scenarios. Practice installing carrier using both methods in vehicles until you can do it in around a minute or less (anchor clip and/or seat belt method in worst case scenario rental has no anchors). Fighting with car to install carrier for 10-15 minutes with irritated baby is not fan, especially if rest of luggage still has to be loaded into vehicle.
A wheeled hockey bag was kinda awesome to toss in the car seat stuff and other baby excess stuff rather than wrapping it in plastic (not counted as checked luggage IIRC), but it's a checked bag. I exploited the crap out of the Westjet card's free check in luggage when I traveled pre pandemic.
Travel plans wise, make options for baby specifically where adults compromise (ie: Kiddie splash pool, play places etc.) AND options for adults where adults happy and baby sorta compromise (ie: Beach, hike, shopping etc.). Otherwise, no one will be happy. Baby mainly just needs to be comfortable. Baby won't remember anything. Make sure the trip is fun for adults and more stress than it's worth. The point is to have fun.
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