Let's talk about potty training

[shermanator]

Hoping that others who have been through or are going through this traumatic event can share their experiences with this. And for those who don't have kids, enjoy this birth control reminder.

My daughter turns 3 in a couple weeks. She's never really indicated that she has to go to the bathroom but has a passing interest in the toilet and has gone a couple times on it. One of the ladies at daycare suggested that we give potty training a try this weekend and that they could continue to potty train her at daycare this week. The plan would be to stay at home all weekend, have her wear underwear only and offer her chocolate as a reward if she let us know when she has to go to the bathroom and goes on the toilet. This was sprung on me yesterday afternoon and I didn't think she was ready but figured it was worth a shot.

We're about 8 hours into day 1 and she's pissing herself roughly every 30 minutes. I've suggested to my wife a few times that I don't think she's ready and that has not gone over well.

It gets better, doesn't it?

[spetch]

We did the same thing (minus the reward part). Sounds like it was the same thing one day one we went through, but we stuck it out and on day two the change was great. She only had one accident on day two and that was early in the daytime.

In short give it a second day at least.

[Locke]

I mean...I'd rather not.

[Hemi-Cuda]

We lucked out with both of our daughters. They had no interest at all in the potty before age 3 despite my wife stressing out about it and continuously trying to get them to use it. But right after their third birthdays both ended up saying "I don't want to wear diapers anymore" and pretty much trained themselves. There were a few accidents, but overall it ended up being nothing to stress out about

[Buzzard]

I remember us doing pretty much the exact thing with our daughter, except she had zero problem with peeing in a potty right when big enough, but poop was a different ball game. After a while, we'd kind of had enough of diapers, etc. and one weekend told her that the diaper ship was sailing and time to graduate..in so many words. She wasn't impressed with that idea at all. When long enough past due for her to have a dump, we put her on the potty throne and told her she wasn't leaving until "it" came out, but that she'd get smarties or something when it did. I vividly remember the facial contortions she went through holding that sucker back. For whatever reason, she fought it until the bitter end, but once it plopped, that unforgettable look of relief and asking for the smarties. It was quite hilarious, but fairly smooth sailing from there on, much like dog training really. Ha ha, good old days!

[afc wimbledon]

cloth diapers are the key, get rid of the pampers, why would anyone waste their time going to the bathroom if the diapers make it impossible to know they've pissed themselves? my kid was using the potty by 1 1/2 because her diapers were so uncomfortable

[Amethyst]

If she's not showing an interest, or indicating when she has to go, I'd wait. Those things are half the battle. Does she indicate when her diaper is wet? If not, she's probably not ready.

Do you have story books about using the toilet? If not, I'd get some of those and read with her. Get a potty and put with her toys, then play having the dolls go to the bathroom. Have other members model and talk about what they are doing when they go to the bathroom. Change her and have her wash her hands in the bathroom, if you're not already doing so.

If you have those things in place, then start with the underwear step, at a time when you will be home and available to take her whenever she needs. Depending on your schedule, if you could do it when she can be home with a parent for a few days / week, that would help, as most children are more comfortable going at home first. I know the daycare said they would work on it, but I would doubt that they have as much time to dedicate to one child.

Once she gets started, take her shopping and have her pick out some underwear she really likes.

[FlamesAddiction]

It went pretty smoothly for us. My daughter pretty much potty trained herself before the age of 2. I don't know if these would be considered tips or tricks, but I can tell you what worked for us.

We left the potty in the bathroom across from the toilet and would go to the bathroom together. Any time mom had to use the bathroom, she would go in with her and sit on the potty. Sometime she would not have to go but would just sit and play for a minute, but it kind of normalized using it. We were kind of lucky because our daughter just always wanted to do what mom and dad were doing, so it was easy to get her on there.

The other thing is that we used cloth diapers. No comfy disposable diapers or pull ups, so she learned at an early stage that going in your pants was not fun or a good idea. I think it compelled her to potty train quickly.

All kids are different obviously though. I know parents with more than one kid who had vastly different experiences with each kid despite being in the same environment.

[shermanator]

Originally Posted by Amethyst

If she's not showing an interest, or indicating when she has to go, I'd wait. Those things are half the battle. Does she indicate when her diaper is wet? If not, she's probably not ready.

Do you have story books about using the toilet? If not, I'd get some of those and read with her. Get a potty and put with her toys, then play having the dolls go to the bathroom. Have other members model and talk about what they are doing when they go to the bathroom. Change her and have her wash her hands in the bathroom, if you're not already doing so.

If you have those things in place, then start with the underwear step, at a time when you will be home and available to take her whenever she needs. Depending on your schedule, if you could do it when she can be home with a parent for a few days / week, that would help, as most children are more comfortable going at home first. I know the daycare said they would work on it, but I would doubt that they have as much time to dedicate to one child.

Once she gets started, take her shopping and have her pick out some underwear she really likes.

She hasn't shown any indication that she knows when she has to pee, that's why I'm thinking she's not ready. She knows when she's gone but not before.

We've been taking her to the bathroom with us for a while now, so she knows the process. Go to the bathroom, wipe, flush the toilet, wash your hands, etc. Bought special books to read to her while she's on the toilet and she is interested in that too. I think it's the understanding that she has to go that's the hurdle.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by shermanator

She hasn't shown any indication that she knows when she has to pee, that's why I'm thinking she's not ready. She knows when she's gone but not before.

We've been taking her to the bathroom with us for a while now, so she knows the process. Go to the bathroom, wipe, flush the toilet, wash your hands, etc. Bought special books to read to her while she's on the toilet and she is interested in that too. I think it's the understanding that she has to go that's the hurdle.

You're probably right, she may just not be ready yet. I would say just continue to be supportive and reassuring, and not pressuring.

I have seen it with some kids where it is like a switch and they go from being not potty trained to being perfectly potty trained within a week it seems. Of course, most kids will still have the occasional accident while transitioning from one to the other or overnight.

[GGG]

Just remember this is a parenting competition and the daycare has shamed you by essentially saying all of the other 3 year olds are potty trained get with the program. Their goal is to make life easier for them. (I’m joking if it’s not clear)

I can’t remember what the philosophy was at the time but but your child needs to be able to know when she wet herself so if she isn’t telling you that her underwear are wet then she might not be ready. If she’s telling you then it’s just a matter of putting the work in.

It sounds like though that your aren’t putting her on the toilet in a regular interval. I’d just put her on the toilet every 30 minutes and then celebrate and reward her for success. Once you’ve trained going on the potty then is move to telling you when she needs to go. At first you are potty training yourselves rather than your child.

Have fun and don’t be afraid to delay if it doesn’t work after a few days / weeks.

[Amethyst]

Originally Posted by shermanator

She hasn't shown any indication that she knows when she has to pee, that's why I'm thinking she's not ready. She knows when she's gone but not before.

We've been taking her to the bathroom with us for a while now, so she knows the process. Go to the bathroom, wipe, flush the toilet, wash your hands, etc. Bought special books to read to her while she's on the toilet and she is interested in that too. I think it's the understanding that she has to go that's the hurdle.

It sounds like she's got the preliminary steps down. I would just find a time when you have several days to work on it (ie the daycare should not be springing it on you Friday afternoon). If she can tell when she's wet, she should start making the connection to how it feels before she goes.

I'm not a fan of the "take her every 30 minutes" idea. That's just luck, not really knowing when she needs to go. But everyone needs to do what works for them and barring any serious medical issues, they do figure it out. If her friends at daycare are all using the toilet, she will probably want to join them soon.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Honestly, I think I blocked most of it from my brain.

Oldest is potty trained, and I'm happy for it.

Youngest is a while away from starting... not really looking forward to it. Basically I'm posting here so it's easier for me to find in the future

[bagofpucks]

As with all things parenting, there are about 6 billion different recommendations from experts and many of them contradict the others. We decided to do the “cold turkey” approach for both our kids, which also meant no diapers at night or at nap time. I can totally understand this approach may not be for everyone, but it worked for our kids.

A few things I feel like are important no matter the approach:
- Be consistent. Make sure she has the same way to “know it’s time” at home and day care.
- Be patient. With both our kids we did it over a long weekend. In our experience, we were in good shape by day 3, but there will always be minor setbacks.
- Try not to get frustrated with her. It sucks. Probably one of my least favorite parenting milestones was potty training. But you have to remember this is a pretty major change in her world and she is trying her best to learn a new skill.

We actually have a little parenting milestone in our house tonight as well. Our little guy moved to his big boy bed, so this is the first time our house has not had a crib in 5 years!

[The Fisher Account]

Buy this and follow it. Worked great for us:

Oh Crap! Potty Training:... https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1501122983?...p_mob_ap_share

[shermanator]

Well, after two more incidents and my wife reluctantly agreeing with me to go back to Pull Ups and trying again in a few weeks a bit of success. Right as she's going to bed she says "I have to pee". Diaper is dry, and she goes on the toilet.

Two treats for that one.

[topfiverecords]

Went through it 40 years ago and I haven’t had an accident since.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by shermanator

Well, after two more incidents and my wife reluctantly agreeing with me to go back to Pull Ups and trying again in a few weeks a bit of success. Right as she's going to bed she says "I have to pee". Diaper is dry, and she goes on the toilet.

Two treats for that one.

That’s hilarious, daughter was probably picking up on your guys stress and as soon as you relaxed so did she and was aware.

Too funny. Congrats.

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

cloth diapers are the key, get rid of the pampers, why would anyone waste their time going to the bathroom if the diapers make it impossible to know they've pissed themselves? my kid was using the potty by 1 1/2 because her diapers were so uncomfortable

This is what I’m hoping for. She’s just over a year and we use cloth and she’s started to sign to us that she wants a change when wet. It feels like we’re getting close to the next step.

[CASe333]

If you don't have one get a small bathroom stool. It will help them be more independent getting on off toilet from about 2-5 I'm guessing for most kids. Also allows them to independently wash hands. Also we got an extra smaller kids toilet training seat that I thought worked out well while we used it. Easy to install and get rid of now that he is bigger.